SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
General
User Topic: I think it's over..
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

I posted the other day in the R forum about my H breaking NC after almost 2 years since dday. I hadn't had much of a discussion with him about it until tonight and it didn't go well. At. All.

For those of you that didn't read the post she wrote him happy bday. He replied thank you. That was it. But he deleted it and then told me about it 2 days later. I verified that was the only communication between them with the phone records.

Anyway, I finally found it in me talk to him about it tonight. I just didn't have it in me to have the conversation earlier in the week. What sucks is he's out of town this week so we had to talk about it over the phone.

Well, he thinks I'm over reacting. He thinks what he did wasn't "that" bad. He asked that I trust him. He told me he knows what he's doing. He's upset that I don't trust him.

I told him that he needed to block her number. That I should have had him do this from day one. That he needs to never talk to her again. That was our agreement from day 1. That's why I chose to R...his response was "wow...that's all I needed to hear. Your never going to trust me. Have good night Confused."

I said "and that all I needed to hear from you. Good bye Mr confused"

I'm floored by this. Just speechless. I think it's all over. I can't believe he's being so pig headed! So fucking stubborn. You know what sucks the most? I KNOW this isn't about HER. It's not about him wanting to talk to her when he wants. This is about him not wanting me to dictate what he can and can't do. This is about HIM wanting to control the situation. He doesn't want ME to tell him how to handle things.

And it seems he's willing to let me walk away instead of putting his pride aside. It also seems I may have just wasted the past 2 years of my life with a fucking selfish asshole. FTG


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
hardtimesinlife
Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

(((confused82402)))

I'm sorry he doesn't seem to be getting it. Hopefully he will make a turnaround.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6140 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

((((confused)))) I'm so sorry honey. He clearly doesn't get it.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
inca
Member
Member # 35298
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Hi confused,

This debate your are having with your H is one I have had several times. I want him to not develop or maintain friendships with other women, and he agreed to some limits but breached those or refused to agree in some circumstances. I could T/J and explain further, but assume I got the support of my therapist in setting these limits and in saying they were realistic but my H. Just. Could. Not. Agree. So we have been in this dance for 2 years. I find it kind of amazing that this is your WS reaction 2 years out. Maybe look at that. Did he react to other requests to make changes? So with this breach, and I agree it is a breach, this big deal is he did not come to you immediately and tell you, right? If he had that would have been okay, right? Had he, you would have felt that he was trustworthy by doing so? Right? His not coming to you, and then denying that that was a problem, and showing no remorse is the problem, right? Now you are so triggered you feel like he is not trustworthy, but he should understand, and you should explain, that you don't trust him because he failed to tell you and engage in A-like behavior before telling you. I think he totally F up here but if he could see it this way and get out of denial you may be on the same page. If he can't see it this way, then that is a problem.

Sorry you are having this experience!


Posts: 129 | Registered: Apr 2012
SummerStorm21
Member
Member # 41320
Default  Posted: 4:00 AM, December 13th (Friday)

So sorry he put you in this position!


BW

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2013
cantgetup
Member
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I feel for you. So sorry. When BSs have to lead their WS to water and they don't drink anyway, it does not bode well for reconciliation or your marriage. First they shouldn't have to be asked and they sure as hell shouldn't be arguing about it. That tells you that he is not in R. You may be, he is not. And to be honest, it sounds like more than stubbornness or pig headed ness. This would be a red flag to me on something either going in or continuing on with OW or someone else.
Take good care

Posts: 319 | Registered: Jul 2012
cl131716
Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, December 13th (Friday)

(((confused82402)))

I am so angry for you right now. Wow, what an a$$!

He told me he knows what he's doing. He's upset that I don't trust him.

You have every reason not to trust him with her! I believe him when he says he knows what he's doing. He knew what he was doing when he made her the OW too. SMH

2 days or 2 years....NC means NC and should be maintained for life.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, December 13th (Friday)

This is about him not wanting me to dictate what he can and can't do. This is about HIM wanting to control the situation. He doesn't want ME to tell him how to handle things.

Oh God yes. It's 100% about control, ugh.

Well, the thing of it is, you completely cannot control what he does, that's up to him. But you can one million percent control what you will put up with, and I think you're a strong person to know what you can and cannot accept.

((HUGS))


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6832 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Did he react to other requests to make changes?

My first response to this question was no but thinking about it more, the answer is yes. He did react like this in some instances at first but he always came around and made the changes. In thinking more about it, it seems that when he is told he's doing something wrong, he's first reaction has ALWAYS been to defend it. Like he's doing now but he always seems to come around in time.

this big deal is he did not come to you immediately and tell you, right? If he had that would have been okay, right?

Yes that's part of it. He did eventually come to me. But the big problem is that he responded "thank you". If the situation had been exactly the same but he hadn't written back to her, I wouldn't be as upset.

Now you are so triggered you feel like he is not trustworthy, but he should understand, and you should explain, that you don't trust him because he failed to tell you and engage in A-like behavior before telling you.

Not only did he fail to not tell me right away but he chose to right back knowing I wouldn't like it. And then he defended his actions which is just insane! I told him I shouldn't have to worry about this 2 years out. I asked him when will she be out of our lives for good. His response "she is out of our lives for good confused. I JUST said thank you"

He just doesn't see that saying "thank you" was wrong. He believes that since he didn't engage in a full blown conversation with her that he did nothing wrong. It's complete wayward thinking. But then I wonder, where does he draw the line? What if he happens to see her walking down the street? Does he smile and wave? What if now she decides that he responded to the happy bday wish and now sends a text for every holiday? Will he write back every time? And then what, the "thank you's" turn into "how are you's". Things escalate. And he just showed he would respond after 2 years of not engaging.

It's seriously not that difficult to understand. You had an A with OW now you never talk to her again. It makes sense to me. Why would you even WANT to reply to someone who helped rip your wife's heart out? It's disrespectful to me and I would like to point out if I fucked someone else, thought I was in lurve with him and then pulled this shit, he'd be out the door.

The truly sad part is, had he said to me last night " confused, I didn't think that saying thank you was that bad BUT I understand that it hurt you and I'm sorry. I will block her number and never to this again" i would be in a different place right now.



Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Well, the thing of it is, you completely cannot control what he does, that's up to him. But you can one million percent control what you will put up with, and I think you're a strong person to know what you can and cannot accept.

And I will not accept this. At. All. If he can't handle that, well he knows where the door is and I'm ok with him leaving.


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, December 13th (Friday)


Sorry cantgetup, I just saw your post!

This would be a red flag to me on something either going in or continuing on with OW or someone else.

Usually I would agree but I know he hasn't been engaging with OW other than this and my gut tells me there is no one else. He flat out said to me "I don't like you dictating how I should handle this."

It's all about control. He doesn't like being told what to do and he never has.

It reminds me of that saying "would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?" Sadly, my husband would rather be right.


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I think a waywards first response is always to try and cover their own asses. Mine did the same thing twice with OW before I got it through his thick skull that he was just feeding the continuation of her contacting him again. Of course he didn't tell me and I found out on the phone records. At least he did tell you, which I am certainly not defending his 2 day wait or that he responded at all. I think it takes them a long time to truely process what they are doing and how it affects us and our relationship. I told my WH if he did it ever again, I was done with him and I would not continue to live like this. It has been 8months since the last broken NC, as far as I can tell.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I think a waywards first response is always to try and cover their own asses.

I agree. But why? I mean, if I do or say something that I don't think is wrong but somehow hurts someone, my first reaction isn't to defend it! My first reaction is to acknowledge that I hurt the person, let them know that wasn't my intent and then apologize. I just don't understand his way of thinking.

I think it takes them a long time to truely process what they are doing and how it affects us and our relationship.

How long do we BS's wait for them to understand? When is enough enough? How do we know when it's time to just give up and walk away?

This whole situation is a mess. A big f'ing mess


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
HeartbrokenDude
Member
Member # 41110
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Sorry, he doesn't get it at all. I hope he will, but he's sounding quite clueless right now.

Posts: 66 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I'm so sorry for dragging this thread out but I just got a text from WH. His text is quoted below.

This isn't going to work until there is drastic change.you need to really think about what you want. I handeled situations in the past very poorly and probably will in the future. Until you can not care and just trust I know what I am doing we are doomed. So think long and hard if you can do that or not.

WTF is he talking about? He can't be serious can he? Am I the only one that thinks this is completely fucking ridiculous and arrogant?

We are doomed until I can just not care and trust he knows what he's doing? For real? I need to think about what I want? Oh my, I think I married an idiot

Someone please tell me his text is bullshit and I'm not overreacting...



Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, December 13th (Friday)

You are correct, it's completely fucking ridiculous and arrogant. Didn't he catch the last demo where you trusted him to do the right thing, like not break NC? Not sure if he wants to dictate what he can or can't do or just be a dick.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Dec 2011
misskirby
Member
Member # 34594
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Wow. Wow. Hell no you're not overreacting. Seriously? Until you can just not care? He probably would have appreciated it if you just also wouldn't have cared that he was screwing someone else. That is really just unbelievable.


Me-BS, Late 20's
Him-WH, Late 20's
M 9 years, together 14
DS and DD
D-Day 1/16/12

"Long is the way And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light" -John Milton, Paradise Lost


Posts: 215 | Registered: Jan 2012
sinsof thefather
Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, December 13th (Friday)

WTF is he talking about? He can't be serious can he? Am I the only one that thinks this is completely fucking ridiculous and arrogant?

No, you're not the only one. He is being completely ridiculous. She broke NC and then he broke NC. It's not that hard to see and it's not that he doesn't see it, it's that he doesn't want to comply with it.

That he thinks saying 'Thank You' to her is more important than your feelings says a lot.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1890 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, December 13th (Friday)

His text is BS and you are not over reacting!!!!! Now repeat it until you believe it yourself. Oh, and don't respond. It doesn't deserve a response.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Wow, that last text of his is a serious road block. I mean, has he been faking recovery the past 2 years or what?! That is ultra wayward, nonremorseful thinking.

I would probably reply something like "come pack your shit."

He is trying to control you and bully you. I think he hasn't realized how strong you have become.

Ok, maybe my real answer is, "you fail to realize you are the one who blew up our lives and no, you most certainly do not know what you are doing. You are not trustworthy and you have it backwards who needs to do the thinking and who has doomed us."


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6565 | Registered: Jan 2011
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, December 13th (Friday)

That he thinks saying 'Thank You' to her is more important than your feelings says a lot.

^^^^THIS^^^^ this is the real issue right now! It's not the thank you. It's not that I think he's gonna restart the A. It's the fact that he doesn't give a shit about how I feel! It's the fact that replying is more important than me..than US.

Not sure if he wants to dictate what he can or can't do or just be a dick.

Tred,
I'm leaning towards him just being a dick!

He probably would have appreciated it if you just also wouldn't have cared that he was screwing someone else.

Oddly enough, he starts a lot of the hard conversations. He takes full responsibility for the A. He has from day one. So why is this such a fucking issue for him to understand? I think he's delusional.


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, December 13th (Friday)

He is trying to control you and bully you. I think he hasn't realized how strong you have become.

This all the way! I'm not going to back down. At. All. Your response to what his text is awesome, I just donn't think he even deserves a response!


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
Kierst13
Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Oddly enough, he starts a lot of the hard conversations. He takes full responsibility for the A. He has from day one. So why is this such a fucking issue for him to understand? I think he's delusional.

It is an issue because he wants it to go away. In his mind he has been *punished* enough and he has paid his penance. He now believes it is up to you to be healed and move on. He is better doncha know?

He is not fully remorseful. He thought if he accepted responsibility for the affair through his words, you would get over it. True remorse would show in his concern for you and how you are healing and feeling.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
Razor
Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, December 13th (Friday)

** danger. using a wide brush here. What follows is true of SOME WS that dont have real remorse in their heart. I am writing here from MY experience with MY WW. YMMV **

I think allot of WS go into *damage control* after Dday. They do what they think they need to do until everything seems fine from their POV. They are *over it* and believe you should be too.

After that they just drift back into their old patterns. Sometimes hiding things. Sometimes violating boundaries you set after Dday. They trust them self not to have another affair so they figure you should trust them too.

When my WW did this I asked why I should trust her. Her reply was simply that she would not have another affair. not because of what it did to me and our M. but because of what it did to her.

So maybe what you are seeing in your WW is this drift back into old habits now that his damage control has done its work.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, December 13th (Friday)

He is not fully remorseful. He thought if he accepted responsibility for the affair through his words, you would get over it. True remorse would show in his concern for you and how you are healing and feeling.

WOW...this is true isn't it? I always thought he was truly remorseful. I guess I was wrong. Very wrong.

That's a tough pill for me to swallow 2 years out. He fooled me. I feel like an idiot.


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, December 13th (Friday)

This all the way! I'm not going to back down. At. All. Your response to what his text is awesome, I just donn't think he even deserves a response!

Have you really laid it on the line like that lately? I think you should respond hardline and see what happens.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6565 | Registered: Jan 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Wow, confused. That text has me seeing red on your behalf. Sending you strength, honey. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
whattheh
Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, December 13th (Friday)

It's weird that in his text he says he handled things poorly in the past and he will probably do that again? But you just need to trust him? Say what?

Contacting the OW with a simple "thank you" totally encouraged her. Given his text to you and this I would be worried that he's warning you he may act poorly again and cheat again. I would wonder if his wayward mindset is returning or if he's building a narrative to support that.


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 575 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, December 13th (Friday)

He thinks this is about control when it is really about respect.

Perhaps respond to him something like: You have known for 2 years that I find any contact with OW to be unacceptable. This is not about how I react to what you do, this is about you being unwilling to respect my boundaries. If I cannot trust you to respect my boundaries, then how can I trust you to respect anything about me? I demand respect in this relationship. You are right, this is not going to work if you continue to disrespect me.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Have you really laid it on the line like that lately? I think you should respond hardline and see what happens.

You know Rebreather, I don't think I really have. Sometimes, I can't quite articulate my thoughts as clearly as you were able to in your response. I'll send what you wrote and see how that goes.


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
SummerStorm21
Member
Member # 41320
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Omg I would want to punch him in the face!!! And I hate violence.

Do you go to MC? I would not even respond and send it to the counselor with a brief explanation of what happened.

Seems like a reaction like this two years into R is not going to be improved by more confrontation. Something is seriously out of whack for him to snap like that. I would definitely want a third party involved, first and foremost to avoid being the recipient of any more of THAT garbage.


BW

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2013
Offhispedestal
Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

I don't see any remorse by all this obvious manipulation/ blame shifting. I was not going to reply to this thread until I read what your WH told you "wow well that's all I needed to hear"you're never going to trust me. He stelling you that you need to change if you want this M to work?
My H told me those exact words! What I found out was that he was still making random contract with her. The fact that he wants you to believe his bullshit reply " I didn't want to be rude"
My H told me " it's not my fault, she's really not a bad person"
Her feelings were put before because he still had feelings for her.


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 639 | Registered: Jun 2011
confused82402
Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

I just wanted to give you guys an update and to thank you all so much for your advice and support. I just LOVE SI

I decided to take Rebreathers advice and text him back. I used her words but added my own to it. My text is quoted below.

I think you fail to realize you are the one who blew up our lives in the first place. You were the one who decided to reply to her text knowing it would hurt me and you didn't take my feelings into consideration. Talking to her in anyway is disrespectful to me. I guess I just don't understand your need to fight me on this. I don't understand why it's so hard for you to do this for me and for us. The fact that you think saying 'thank you' to her is more important than my feelings says a lot about how you really feel about me. The most ridiculous part about the whole thing is your first instinct was to go a head and try to hide it from me. You deleted it all. Yet you want me to trust you? You aren't trustworthy and I think you have it backwards about who needs to do the thinking and who has doomed us
.

I didn't hear anything back from him and assumed he was going to do the whole conflict avoiding thing. He was out of town for work this week and he called me about 7pm on his drive home. I couldn't really talk as I was trying to get dinner out of the oven, had the kids running around and my puppy getting into everything. So he said he'd just talk to me when he got home.

Well he came in with flowers and a heart felt apology. Then we sat down together and blocked her and he said that he's going to go back to IC weekly. He made an appointment for today. He said that he's found yet another thing he needs to work on within himself. There was much more to the conversation but I won't bore you with it all.

Thank you again for all of your support!


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

Not sure how helpful this post will be, but something about your experience brought back a bad memory.

My ex joined true.com. He claims he did it while we were separated, but I found out that he was lying about that. I don't remember how I discovered that he had joined the site, but I saw the emails from it in his mailbox. We had a big blow up about it. He said it was just fun to imagine things. That sucked to hear.

I made a fake profile for "Cindy." He was always into Asian women so I found a pic of a pretty Asian woman, described her as about 85% of what I knew he liked, and sent him a message from the site. He had deleted all of the other incoming messages from the other girls supposedly sending a message (some are computer-generated). But, he kept the one from his dream girl, Cindy.

I let it sit about a week, and then I confronted him again. He deleted the email and quit going to the site, but he did not remove his profile. After I put the keylogger on his computer I saw that he still checked the site.

For the two days that your husband knew about the email the ho sent and didn't tell you, maybe he was secretly fantasizing about the OW. I don't know, I'm not in his head. But I find it unacceptable. The willingness to communicate with her was obviously there because he responded.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
Topic Posts: 34