SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Triggers ever completely gone???
Patchy
Member
Member # 39228
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I know this is not a new question. And if I weren't slightly inebriated I might be able to search old posts for answers, but I'm still wondering if triggers can ever completely go away.

We came really close to moving an hour away, largely due to my triggers, but didn't. Now it seems we'll be here for at least 2 1/2 years until our daughter graduates HS. And even then, I know my WH doesn't want to move. And I don't really know that I want to move unless its out of the general area he does business (has his own company). And I don't know how realistic that is.

My triggers have definitely improved, I'm happy to say. But they aren't gone. I wonder if we stay here, if the places that casue even small triggers now will always be a sore spot in some way. Is it possible that they could really go away completely? Cause I so don't want to live like this forever.


Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.

Posts: 93 | Registered: May 2013
beenthere2?
Member
Member # 28554
Default  Posted: 1:30 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I'm not around much anymore and you don't have a story in your profile, but your signature says June of 2012 and December 2013...does that mean that you've had a very recent Dday?

if that is the case, you are absolutely going to have triggers still.

I am just barely over three years out and I can tell you that I still get triggers every now and then. They are fewer and farther between and they aren't as severe. When I trigger now, it lasts moments and then I move on.

In my experience, as long as he is doing what he is supposed to do and is remorseful and transparent and you start to trust again, those sore spots won't be as sore as time goes on and you move forward.


Me: BW 34 Him: WH 36
Married 10
Dday #1 5/15/10 claimed EA/just friends
#2 9/20/10 (admitted to kiss w/ same OW
#3 11/29/10 admitted to a lot more

Posts: 3981 | Registered: May 2010
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:38 AM, December 13th (Friday)

I think her DDay was christmas of 12, because christmas of 13 hasn't happened yet.

Do they ever completely go away? No. But they get better. I still got them from his EA four years ago, but i didn't get enraged, or even get sad, it just reminds me that it happened. (Although Dday2 has given them power again... And I am getting angry about it again...)


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 3