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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Does the crying ever stop?
Lostandpregnant
Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, December 13th (Friday)

I realize it's only been right around a month..plus pregnancy hormones..but every time I go a couple of days without crying..something hits, and I end up a sobbing mess AGAIN.
Does this EVER stop?


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, December 13th (Friday)

((LostandPregnant))

Yes, the crying does stop. It took years for me to go a whole week without crying. But it does stop eventually. So sorry you are going through this.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, December 13th (Friday)

(((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Yes it does. Trust me on that one. (((L+P)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17413 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
endlessabsurdity
Member
Member # 40249
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Yes, but it does take time. It took months before I stopped thinking about the affair every second of every day. Just hold on. You will make it. Stay strong.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: United States
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, December 13th (Friday)

(((((l&p))))) Hang in there, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25530 | Registered: Aug 2011
NotFixable
Member
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Just know you are not alone. I am also crying constantly, and I have no added pregnancy hormones. Sitting at my desk at work today, I would randomly break down into tears. The second I got home this evening, I sat down on the couch and cried uncontrollably for half an hour. Every time I think the tears must surely be gone, here they come again. Sigh....


Me-BS
Him-WH
Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D
___________________________________

Nowhere left to go but up!


Posts: 108 | Registered: Dec 2013
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, December 13th (Friday)

I cried so much for those first 7-odd months that I barely wee'd. I would take regular bawling breaks and hide in the bathroom just quietly sobbing. While weekends without my girls spent laying in their beds weeping a river of tears.

Back then the tears were crippling - these data they are cleansing.

It does stop, I promise. I never thought it would but it did. I still get teary every few weeks but it isn't agony, it is mourning.

Be gentle with yourself.

(((L&P))


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5580 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

((L&P))

Yes it does stop. You're doing fantastic if you go a couple of days with out crying right now. Good grief I cried ever bloody day for months and I wasn't pregnant! You cry as much as you need to. Don't worry about it. Its OK to cry for the death of your M! Its sad. Its hurtful. It deserves tears.

You're going to be so busy with a new baby you deserve to do whatever you need to right now! Don't fuss much about how often it is. You're doing just fine


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8452 | Registered: Apr 2008
Lostandpregnant
Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

Thank you for listening, you guys. You always make me feel like it's okay to feel what I'm feeling..I'm so not used to that.

I wish I could bake all of you some cookies and hug you.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

This place is magical, isn't it?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25530 | Registered: Aug 2011
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

LandP,

I am 2 years out and I still cry sometimes. And not pregnant either!

I would say the first 4 months I cried so much that my eyes were always beet red. I would try to put on makeup and all you could see were the RED eyes. I'm pretty sure I could have gotten a part in the Walking Dead as a zombie!

My IC says its good to cry. Don't bottle up those feelings.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 764 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

((L&P))

I cried every day for a year. Seriously, no exaggeration. I still cry & I've been D'd for 9 months. Now it's more of a 1 x a season. And like SBB said, it's mourning.

Take care of yourself.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
hangingonin
Member
Member # 29530
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, December 15th (Sunday)

It's good to know that it does stop eventually. I cry most days - thankfully I can hold it together at work, but as soon as I'm home it starts. My son comes home for Christmas next weekend, so I'm hoping I can hold it together a bit more when he's home.

Posts: 77 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: SE England, UK
Bravenewgirl
Member
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

Yes it stops. Promise.

Right now, its good and normal that you are crying...crying is an emotional release. Tears of grief actually are actually chemically different than, say, hay fever tears. You are getting rid of stress hormones and emptying out your pain so that you can start to heal.

I didn't cry for a least 6 weeks after d-day. Boy, was it a relief when the tears started to flow.

I am sorry for your pain. ((((((lost)))))))


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

Once I finally stopped crying, not much brings me to tears anymore. A few tears of joy at my daughters wedding, but otherwise nothing else warrants tears after living with a lying cheating arsehole.

Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

mmmmm.... cookies....

You are such a sweet and caring person. You will bounce back. Damn four letter word: time.

But it will pass. It is perfectly NATURAL to cry at what has happened!!!

(((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5842 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
renee21
Member
Member # 27088
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

I cry every day....on the drive to and from work, at my desk and at night....been doing this for 6 months. I'm just separated and heading into D at this point, so I'm like you hoping the hurt and tears will go away.

Hugs to you and all of us going through this.


BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

Posts: 1327 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Florida
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, December 16th (Monday)

(((LP))) I don't know if the crying stops. It hasn't yet, for me. But I am still relieved about my future and more optimistic every day.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 568 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Lostandpregnant
Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, December 16th (Monday)

Giant hugs to all of us.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
allatsea
Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, December 16th (Monday)

I think I cried enough for both me and the CSTBXWW. She sure wasn't crying. Totally oblivious to what she's done.

Still happens to me 9 months on. I can feel myself mourning the loss of my wife and children. Mostly it's crying for the children and the family life they will no longer have.


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 698 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Dawn58
Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, December 17th (Tuesday)

The tears do slow down. At first, I sobbed constantly. Over the past year, the frequency is less, but I do still cry/mourn. I cried when I learned he was engaged to the OW (and no, we are not divorce yet, still waiting for mediation), I cried a lot over the one year anniversary of dday. I accept that the tears are healing and each tear moves me closer to healing the hurt.

I have an easier time accepting the tears over the anger.


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Topic Posts: 22