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User Topic: Facebook posts - WS wants me to break spouse NC?
GotPlayed
Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, December 13th (Friday)

NCing the WS since she asked for a separation.

Handling it well so far but she just posted on facebook some glamour shots she took to send me originally when we met (we met online).

Hard not to break NC over it. She's sitting on the next desk over, she came to the office to look for a job online. Oh man.

NC still in place. Wish me luck.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, December 13th (Friday)

I would submit that true NC would involve NOT looking at her Facebook page.

FB is NOT intended to punish a WS. It is intended to help YOU detach and begin healing.

Avoiding her FB would be a good start.

NC=no new pain.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8885 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
GotPlayed
Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, December 13th (Friday)

I know. It showed on my news feed - I've avoided Facebook for a few days. It's awkward to remove her as a friend. Haven't added a like or mentioned it.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Un-friend her on FB.

NC no new hurts


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4007 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

Ditto. Unfriend her. That sends a clear message without breaking NC.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

Stay strong GP. This is hard and they will up the ante just to see what will make you react. Tread carefully, they often want to push your buttons so when you do react they can say, "See? He/she is crazy. See why I had to have an affair?"

Post often and unfriend/block on FB.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1781 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Marathonwaseasy
Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

If you don't want to unfriend as that's a tad passive aggressive then just block her feed from yours
Take care


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
GotPlayed
Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

Good idea. As soon as I'm by a computer again I'll adjust her down so I stop seeing her updates.

This is very hard, we're in the same house. Out right now for wings and a movie, by myself. While everyone else is with their families for the holidays.

Anyway, thank you all!


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

People don't get notifications if you unfriend them. Chances are pretty good she wouldn't even notice. (I think we all think our foggy WSs think about us a heck of a lot more than they really do---and, sadly, want to believe that.)

If you BLOCK her (completely, not from your feed), then she won't see anything you do on FB. It's not "passive aggressive" to actually be NC. It's natural consequences for her actions. AND it maintains NC, which feed-blocking does not.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8885 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 9