User Topic: Am I wrong?
cannot forget
Member # 30759
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

My WH and I have been in R for almost 4 yrs. At the very beginning I asked him to never go to a certain store because we know OW frequents this place. He promised. Fast forward 18 months and I find out he still goes there. Another fight ensues and once again he swears he now understands and will never go there again. Our marriage has been stronger and I felt we were doing so well. 4 days ago I find out he has been going to this store. I confront him and tell him he needs to think about why he still felt he could go there. He said he would and didn't talk to me about it again until tonight. He said he needed things at that store. He said he looked in parking lot to make sure her car wasn't there and felt it was safe to go in. When I explained that he broke another promise, he couldn't understand why I am so upset. I told him he broke 100's of promises over the years and he just set us back 4 years. He won't even try to understand why I'm so upset. I don't know if I will get over this. I feel he has just yes'd me to death and is making false promises without fully understanding where I'm coming from. Am I overreacting? I don't know if I can start this over again. He feels he's justified going to this place and I'm overreacting. I did ask him why he didn't tell me he went there and his answer was he knew I would be upset. I hate this shit.

MOW49 2.5yr LTA
married 24yrs

Posts: 52 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Ct
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

No you are not wrong and you are not over-reacting. I'd be more than upset at the news. Broken promises and more lies. I'm sorry (((cannotforget)))

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"

Posts: 9747 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

He feels he's justified going to this place and I'm overreacting. I did ask him why he didn't tell me he went there and his answer was he knew I would be upset.

No you are not overreacting. This would bother me as well. Big time.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

You are not wrong nor over reacting. While he may have "checked" the parking lot, that doesn't mean she isn't in a different car or rode with a friend. It is still a store you have requested as off limits.

I would have a significant issue also with him going. It is about trust and he has demonstrated that he is not committed to that part of it.

Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1646 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, December 15th (Sunday)

There is a rather nasty term for what he''s doing to you, that actually came from my FWH.

It''s call grin-fucking. That''s when you smile, agree, say whatever it takes to end the discussion/request, and think F-You mentally. You have no intention of complying with the request and no interest in getting into a discussion/argument about it, so you just make positive noises and do whatever you want.

I wonder. Is he really OK with being labeled a liar?

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4926 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 5