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User Topic: Update to teenagers arghh...
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, December 15th (Sunday)

Wow....did I get a peak into NPDx's head and it is still ugly and CRAZY.

This whole mess was him actively manipulating DD16 and alienating her from me. I held firm boundaries with DD and had severe consequences for continued defiance. NPDx had come to my home and took DD16...he actively refused to support the correct healthy parenting decision and made me look irrational to DD16. He was dangling a fun, fabulous event in front of her and having a lot of glee from seeing his kid feed his own ego. Heck with what is best for DD16.

I also asked her beloved coach for help, and she stepped right up to the plate. It does take a village to raise a kid. My precious DD16 came home yesterday and began mending the mess she created.

I was texting NPDx , which I rarely do (5.5 years divorced) and he said:

You lost a husband, you lost one daughter and now you are working on loosing the other daughter.

OMG, I filed for divorce. I threw him out. I unloaded the anchor that was trying to drown me and the kids. LOL He really believes I lost him! It says he is the respondent on all the divorce docs and how can he ignore all that? Wow just wow. Just shows the power of a delusional mind. He has had several incidents like this where he has completely rewritten history even though there is documentation. Scary

He is also telling me he plans to try and get both girls alienated from me. And the alienation is all my doing.

Back to NC for me.....glad I had a peak into how much more disturbed NPDx is. I guess in my case, it is right, people like him get worse with age. And now I see he is still very dangerous to me because he will stop at nothing to punish me.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2683 | Registered: Jan 2010
MakingLemonade
Member
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, December 15th (Sunday)

Back to NC for me.....glad I had a peak into how much more disturbed NPDx is. I guess in my case, it is right, people like him get worse with age. And now I see he is still very dangerous to me because he will stop at nothing to punish me.

Affirmation you've made healthy choices for yourself and your DDs for the long term whether they see it at this time or not. I hope they eventually do realize it and appreciate you. Bless that coach, btw.

Could you share with them your X's plans to alienate by showing them the exchange, how he is playing them and being divisive? Just show them and let them draw their own conclusions. Many disagree with such tactics, but they've never lived at the mercy of NPD's hell and manipulation. Your girls are older. The sooner they realize what they are dealing, the less impact it will have on them. Unfortunately it's been my experience with an NPD father and NPDX, they do get worse with age. It's best to understand earlier rather than later.



Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

Frankly, I would save those email and show them to your kids. At 16 and 18 they are old enough to know what''s going on. And it may help them to understand what he''s doing to them, especially the part at the end where he gets tired of them or they don''t kiss up to him enough, and he discards them. Because at some point, you know that he''s going to hurt them emotionally.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

I also asked her beloved coach for help, and she stepped right up to the plate. It does take a village to raise a kid. My precious DD16 came home yesterday and began mending the mess she created.
I was so glad to read this. I'm glad you have support and your DD was able to see through some of her dad's crap.

Keep doing what you're doing, being consistent, loving your kids the way you do.

I hope it gets better, because it's really a shame what he's trying to do. What a selfish, sick -enter very bad name here- he is. They are lucky to have you for a mom, even if they don't realize it right now.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37745 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 4