User Topic: Trust
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, December 15th (Sunday)

So I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I can ever trust my husband again...and I just realized something. What is trust??? Especially in a relationship.

Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile

Posts: 225 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, December 15th (Sunday)

The important question is 'What's trust to you?'

At almost 3 years out, my sense of trust in my W is coming back. I pretty much trust that she won't cheat or otherwise betray me, that she won't stop resolving the issues that have always stood between us, that she'll be honest with me. That may be all I need.

People can always screw up. Sometimes they screw up badly. The problem was only partly that she broke my trust. I also had a problem - I gave my trust totally, and nobody can be totally trusted.

I've had a lot of pain around trust. I don't think that can be avoided by a BS, so just keep posting for counsel and other support, and feeling your feelings and letting them go.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10334 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Topic Posts: 2