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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Petty vent...
lisaloo
Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, December 16th (Monday)

STBXH and I have disagreed for about six months about getting DD a cell phone. I have wanted her to have one since we moved into this new neighborhood (a year ago) because all the kids here run from house to house to play. It would be a lot easier to just be able to call her and tell her dinner is ready, as opposed to having to drive the neighborhood to find her bike in front of the house she is playing at...also, we dont have a house phone, just cell phones, and I think that DD should have her own phone, in case of WHATEVER...

STBXH has argued and argued and put his foot down that NO, DD does NOT need a phone, she's too young, there's no need for her to have one, if she needs to make calls he'll set her up with a way to do it on the computer...blah, blah, blah...this stupid phone issue was even brought up by WH when we were meeting with our church as something that HE felt was me disrespecting his wishes or some such nonsense (despite the fact that I had HONORED his wishes and DD does NOT have a phone).

At any rate it's been a point of contention for some time now, and since I filed for D I was just going to add her on to my plan and get her a phone for Christmas...

I got a text message from that SOB today saying "I got DD an iPhone."

I was like, AYKM?! You stupid SOB...I know exactly why he got it too...He couldnt think of anything to get her for Christmas, so he had to default to an idea of mine that he is vehemently against. I'm thinking to myself, I was going to get her a cheap-o phone and add her on to my plan for an extra 10 bucks a month, and that was a problem, but a $500 phone is cool all of a sudden?!

He then informs me that he is not going to put her on his plan, but that she will still be able to iMessage without a plan.

Seriously? He's giving her a ridiculously expensive phone that she cant even use to call people? What the hell is she going to do with a phone that wont CALL people?

What a stupid jackass.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Gajit
Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, December 16th (Monday)

If you are going to D, then I would just go ahead and add her to your plan and get her a phone that works for calling.

She will get tired of that $500 phone because it will be pretty much useless.

JMHO


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, December 16th (Monday)

A phone she can't use? What kind of boneheaded idea is that?!

Can you suggest a compromise? A simple, "That's a really nice idea, but I'd like for her to have a phone that she can use for calls. Can we compromise? You give her the phone, but I'll grab one that I can add to our plan. That way, she'll have a present from you she really loves, and comes from you."

(Or, do what I'd do: get her a phone that is compatible with your plan, give it to her --- maybe for an early present, or just because it will make it easier for you to have her have a phone, and ...well, let him give her the Useless Phone, and explain to her why it doesn't do anything. Then, tell her it can be returned, and she can use the $$ to get something she's really been aching to have.)

[This message edited by solus sto at 11:28 AM, December 16th (Monday)]


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8556 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, December 16th (Monday)

That is interesting. He is probably paying $500 then if there is no plan attached. He'd be better off getting her an iPad or mini iPad that could do iMessage also. Besides if he doesn't have a plan associated with it then it will require a wi-fi connection in order to send imessages.

I'd go ahead and get your phone and let him give his iPhone (without the phone). Your DD will get an interesting lesson from that.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51938 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
LearningToRun
Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, December 16th (Monday)

Sounds like he isn't giving her a plan with it? If so, then why cant you just take that phone and add it to your plan and consider it a free phone?

If you dont want to get her the data plan, you can always make that part wi-fi- only but the phone and cell numbers are separate from the data plan.

In my view, my kids RARELY use the cell part and imessage from wi-fi areas as much as possible.


Posts: 249 | Registered: Feb 2011
lisaloo
Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, December 16th (Monday)

WH and I have different service providers, so whatever phone he gives her wont work with my plan...I'm hoping he'll realize how asinine his idea is and just GET HER ON HIS PLAN (like any sane person gifting a phone would do!!! ), that way, he's stuck paying for it after the D

I seriously just wish you all could have heard the ranting and raving this nutjob did about NOT letting DD have a phone prior to this...I am suppressing the urge to send him the dictionary definition of hypocrite

As it was, I did have to reply to his text...I couldn't stop myself...I gave him an "lol" and let him know that I was amused, given his vehement opposition up to this point


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, December 16th (Monday)

Any chance he's upgrading his own phone and giving DD his old one without service? I ask because that's EXACTLY what wasband did. Wrapped up his used, deactivated phone and gifted it to DD.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25019 | Registered: Aug 2011
lisaloo
Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, December 16th (Monday)

Any chance he's upgrading his own phone and giving DD his old one without service? I ask because that's EXACTLY what wasband did. Wrapped up his used, deactivated phone and gifted it to DD.

Now that you mention it, I can TOTALLY see the jackass doing this!!!


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, December 16th (Monday)

I seriously just wish you all could have heard the ranting and raving this nutjob did about NOT letting DD have a phone

Well, she still doesn't have a phone. She has something she can imessage with IF she is near a public wifi or knows the password for the private wifi that she is near


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17606 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
lisaloo
Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, December 16th (Monday)

LOL, Touche Dreamboat!


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
LearningToRun
Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, December 16th (Monday)

Actually, she is correct. This is exactly the same as giving her an ITouch.

Carry on with your plans and ignore, ignore, ignore.


Posts: 249 | Registered: Feb 2011
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, December 16th (Monday)

so dumb, but just let it slide. dont even think about it. if she doesnt have a plan than you explain to her that her dad didnt get one. he just got her an expensive tv with no connection. gah


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
Gr8Lady
Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, December 16th (Monday)

Issue one....it is a good safety feature for children in light of today's world. However, is the child responsible enough to not loose such an expensive item?
My brother is divorced has the strangest ex in the world. He purchased an inexpensive phone from walmart for his dd14 ( my niece) because ex comes up with excuses why dd can't talk to him. He is in military and away, so this is his line to communicate. Ex want communication to go thru her so she can argue. Completely ridiculous. As much as I love my niece it is always something....left phone in rain, dropped in toilet, just lost. No way my 14 niece gets the value of ANY phone., plus my brother pays her phone bill in addition to 2000 month child support, ex received in divorce settlement a very nice home mortgage free. Btw my brother is not wealthy. Military, works 2 jobs to meet his responsibility.
Didn't mean to hijack your thread, but there are some men that do the right thing. Just makes me crazy.
Your ex should have consulted you and pros cons before buying such a big ticket item for 8 yr that may loose that iPhone. Cheapie phone would be adequate.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jul 2012
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, December 16th (Monday)

Guess I just don't get why an 8 yr old needs an iphone. Similar situation with my daughter's 10 yr old stepdaughter whose mom bought her an iphone. Just last week when stepdaughter came back to her dad's house, my daughter checks the iPhone because step is not allowed to use instagram & other apps - because she's TEN yrs old - and finds all kinds of porn, inappropriate texts, etc. Long story short: stepdaughter's mom has a boyfriend with an 11 yr old daughter who has full access to the phone when they're all together.... the 11 yr old clearly was doing the texting since she continued to tell her text buddies it was her sending the texts on the stepdaughter's phone.... who knows who was on the porn sites. A simple phone for phone calls and texts is all an 8 yr old needs. Otherwise, IMO, you're just asking for trouble. If you do end up with an iphone that won't make phone calls, sell it and get the less costly and more sensible phone for your 8 yr old.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 453 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 14