What a difference a few days makes!
I’ve neglected my email until today, so while I’m in my mailbox, I see I received an email from a friend of STBXH. He said he’s sorry that we are splitting up and that he always liked me. Then he says, “I love him like a brother, but I don’t understand why he does the shit he does.” I told him thank you and that I appreciated his email, but it actually makes me feel kind of icky, because I can imagine the shit STBXH is saying about me and/or our marriage. This guy stood up in our wedding. He knows me, and knows X better than I do.
It was nice to get an email from him, because I always liked this friend of his. Always seemed like a decent person and a reliable family man. At least someone on his side of the world sounds as baffled as I am.
But anyway, full steam ahead. Things I’ve learned so far:
• Prozac is good.
• Compulsive liars, lie compulsively
• Your STBXH sees nothing wrong with filing to divorce you while extolling the virtues of penis enhancing pills; i.e. “I want you to see this", "I hate sleeping alone", or "We never had problems in that department!”
• Your STBXH only likes it when you are sad. If you are happy, it throws off his momentum, and he’ll need to pull someone else in to feed off of.
• When you meet someone, pay close attention to what they say, and who they blame. Most importantly, take a good unvarnished look at their history. Their history is their truth.
• Anyone who says "I have been looking for someone my whole life and have found it with you", or "without you baby I’m not me", or "I would rather put a bullet in my head then lose you", probably suffer from some type of personality disorder. Also, they have a bad speech writer who needs to be fired immediately.
• Nobody “accidentally” signs up for Match.com
• Oh and my favorite for the OW: If he has had affairs in the past or left previous relationships in a similar way, even if you were the one for whom he left his last wife. That's the strongest predictor that he has what it takes to do that again.
So enjoy. Sleep tight, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.