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Just Found Out
User Topic: I give up - I am sooo over this Shit....
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Angry  Posted: 4:21 PM, December 20th (Friday)

So he gets arrested for aggrevated stalking and THEY LET HIM OUT TODAY ON EMERGENCY BOND HEARING THAT GOT CALLED IN 2 freakin hours and gets visitation but only through courts but can still call nightly to talk to the kids.

He does have a gps bracelet he will have to wear...The bond revoke hearing hasn't gone through yet so eventually he will go back to jail but damn how can one person skate by and get such LUCK on the crazy shit he has done to me and my kids..... OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE I CAN NOT WIN AND I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVING UP THE FIGHT AND SAYING FUCK IT......He seems to win at everything anyways.......


Sorry I am pissed off at the world today..... I just do not understand. I just do not get it at all.


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, December 20th (Friday)

(((hugs))) I hope that you are still at the shelter and hopefully, he doesn''t know where it''s at. Do make sure that the place that you''re at has a copy of your RO and make darned sure that the school(s) that your children go to have copies as well. What a fricking mess!.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4585 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
doggiediva
Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, December 20th (Friday)

I have some questions coz I'm confused..

How did you come to know that the county jail let him out ? Is there a policy in place that the county lets you know when he is released? (I hope so)

Or did your WH himself call to harass you again?

If you have some proof that HE called you to harass you, isn't that grounds to inform his bondsman?..

And wouldn't this cause the bonds people to find a way to get in touch with WH face to face, hand cuff him and have him taken back to jail?

I echo what Skan said too..

This is all so very scary and you are so strong...I admire you..


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1136 | Registered: Nov 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, December 20th (Friday)

PLEASE don't give up! You have to find the strength to fight for you and for the kids. I KNOW the courts make it too easy for the perps. I know what it feels like... and I am so so sorry.

You have to project that there are consequences and that you will enforce your boundaries. Make it too much trouble to play games.

Hang in there tee. He will hopefully find other interests.

(((hugs))) we are all pulling for you.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5608 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Dare2Trust
Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, December 20th (Friday)

teeghan,

Stay positive....
This is good:

and gets visitation but only through courts but can still call nightly to talk to the kids.
He does have a gps bracelet he will have to wear...The bond revoke hearing hasn't gone through yet so eventually he will go back to jail

---HIS visitations will be monitored by the Court!
---HE can talk to the kids...but he can't hurt you or the kids OVER THE PHONE!

---Once HE goes in for the "Bond Revoke Hearing"....his butt will be back in jail!!!

Try to be patient...and keep yourself and the kids safe!


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6113 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, December 20th (Friday)

Why did they let him out when he's only going to go back later? That's just wrong. Why should you live in fear while this asshole walks free?


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1731 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, December 20th (Friday)

Thanks all. I am calmer now. I am still fighting but damn....I am stressed.

To answer ones questions:

We are still at shelter and yes every plave has copy of RO. We have a victim advocate who calls me on every tiny thing even in middle of the night. He has NOT bonded out yet and when he does they will call me immediately day or night.


The reason his other bond hasnt been revoked yet is because that case was misdemeanor and this is felony so.hnadled by too different courts. So now the prosecution in revoke of bond will ask for an emergency hearing in two weeks when court starts back on 30th.

I need to move to a remote island.


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, December 20th (Friday)

I just feel like he is always going ro get away with it all sometimes. I fel like a crazy person more than a victim with him. Ugh.

Bit I am working, st shelter, kids are safe and I am stil doing what I habe to for those babies.


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
jjsr
Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, December 20th (Friday)

Stay safe at the shelter and keep fighting for you and your kids. Its hard but you can do it and SI is here for you


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1592 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Texas
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, December 20th (Friday)

He is NOT going to get away tdear.
You have 40 thousand people at your back.
That is 2 Rupp arenas full of people...keep protecting yourself. We are here for you any time.
huge hugs

Posts: 6425 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, December 20th (Friday)

I just feel like he is always going ro get away with it all sometimes. I fel like a crazy person

I want to validate this for you. I understand this feeling!!!!

He is not always going to get away with it. You are going to be vigilant. You are smart and you are a gutsy woman. He may not ever get what he DESERVES, but that is not the same as YOU getting what you deserve!

You must last longer than he does. You are not crazy, but the system and the frustration can make you feel crazy.

Don't give up. We will fight right along side with you!

(((tee)))


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5608 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, December 20th (Friday)

((((teeghan)))) Continuing to send you strength, honey.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24436 | Registered: Aug 2011
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, December 21st (Saturday)

Thank you guys :-* he has NOT bonded out and I was told today they are trying to place a Hold on his bond due to the revoke hearing to keep him in jail. I hope so.

I am praying and just enjoying kids and holidays. :) THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, December 21st (Saturday)

(((tee)))


I am fiercely independent and I wonít apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, December 21st (Saturday)

Stay strong Teeghan. You feel defeated because your brain is still thinking like an abused spouse. But KNOW this...repeat it often if you need to. You are strong, you are brave, you are fierce, like a momma bear you will do anything you need to yo keep your babies safe. You wil come out a winner.

(((( and strength )))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7803 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Gr8Lady
Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, December 21st (Saturday)

You have the right to be mad as hell, use that anger to strengthen your rights to be safe.

You can do this...stay strong. All he can do on the phone is talk. We all know talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 600 | Registered: Jul 2012
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, December 21st (Saturday)

Because they're setting him up for the prisons-for-profit system which he will undoubtedly find himself in should he continue on this present path.

Your justice won't come swiftly, but it will come.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3688 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)

How are you doing teeghan?? Just checking on you.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5608 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, December 23rd (Monday)

I am hanging in there. He has not bonded out so I am a bit at ease right now. :) Just talked to prosecution in FIRST case and they are trying to get the revoke hearing for Monday the 30th. So hopefully he wont get out before the hearing.

I am just taking things day by day. That is all I can do I guess. I will be glad when ONE day I can feel happiness daily instead of stress and sadness you know?

But at the same time I count my blessings that my kids are safe, I am safe, we have a roof over our heads, I have a great job now, and we will be moving into transitional housing here soon and can really save money to get on our feet within the next year :) Happy Holidays everyone


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, December 23rd (Monday)

Happy holidays right back at you!!

You will feel something besides stress daily because you are engineering positive changes in your life! I am so proud of you, and I know that might sound weird, but it is true. I know how difficult it can be to get up and do what must be done. You keep doing it, and the payoff will come!!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5608 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, December 23rd (Monday)

But at the same time I count my blessings that my kids are safe, I am safe, we have a roof over our heads, I have a great job now, and we will be moving into transitional housing here soon and can really save money to get on our feet within the next year :) Happy Holidays everyone
This is so very encouraging, teeghan. You and your kids have been on my mind. Sending you all kinds of mojo for a safe, relaxed, and happy holiday. And a kick-ass 2014, to boot.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24436 | Registered: Aug 2011
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, December 23rd (Monday)

(((Teegan)))
JJ is right, you have 40,000 behind you, concerned about you, and sending good mojo toward you.

I am divorced from a pathological disorder too. And, one thing I learned in Alanon is:

One day at a time and don't buy trouble.

Enjoy today, as it is all you have. I know that is easier said then done. But those alanon sayings helped me when I would spin off into worry or obsessive thoughts. I hope they help you too.

I am sorry he is such a jerkwad to you. Merry Christmas!!


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2608 | Registered: Jan 2010
seriouslylostit
Member
Member # 23987
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Tee,

Know I'm rooting for you and I know very well what you're going through ... I used to be a victim advocate with Fulton County.


Posts: 843 | Registered: May 2009
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

Thank you all - and I hope you all had a merry Christmas.

The kids and I at least got through Christmas without ANY harrassement but boy did I get it today. I got the ugliest letter from his attorney emailed to me and I am just wondering when it will stop. When will they leave me alone. When will they just let me live my life.

The letter stated they would get an emergency hearing asap if I did not let him see his kids. HELLO!!!!! He has to go through the courts and they have been closed for Christmas dumbass.... I am not the one to set it up and pay the fees.

UGH My DA office is not happy. neither am I but I am going home to my kids and giving them a big big hug!!!!!!



Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

They want you to skip the court and just let him see them. That is really not acceptable for an attorney to do. I would ask the DA or another attorney if that type of harassment is allowed by attorneys. If not, report him. Let the crooked lawyer see that you will not lie down and cave to demands, even from an attorney.

I would ask for that emergency hearing - and then use it to try to get him locked up again.


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1731 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
teeghan
Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

Thay is exactly what the da office is doing They are so.pissed too. They said this attorney could get sanctions if he doesnt watch it.

Ome great piece of news. It motivated me to start a site like thos for support for domestic violence and it will be up soon. I excited. I am.NOT letting him win.


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
Topic Posts: 26