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User Topic: I'm here for you all ........
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 9:48 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

I remember my first Christmas here on the boards and it was scary, and oh so lonely. Just a note to know your not alone and someone is thinking of you all tonight, tomorrow and as you start the new year.

(((Hugs to you all)))


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
swizzlestick03
Member
Member # 30102
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Me too! That first Christmas JFO was horrible! Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, you will not only survive this horrific mess, you will thrive! It really will be ok--and you will be ok too!

Thinking of us all tonight struggling with the monster that is infidelity. May you all know you are loved and cared about tonight, from our home to yours.


Me: BW-32
Him: WS-31
D-Day #1: 16 August 2010
D-Day #2: 16 January 2011
One small kiddo.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Nov 2010
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

(((hugs))) Last year was my 1st year. I remember how strange it was. I''m glad to be here for y-all.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4585 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Because, well, simply Minions are awesome

[This message edited by booger bear at 10:10 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)]


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Great thread, BB.

This is my third Christmas after DDay, and it gets better every year. You'll get through this, and you're not alone.

Sending the JFO folk positive thoughts and strength to get through the holidays.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
mandan66
Member
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

BIG thanks to all of you!!!
I am sitting here right now stuggling; and I thought earlier in the day I was going to be fine---wrong!!!
My first alone (the X has the kids) ever in my life, I think. It is hard, and really strange when I think about it.


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Yep over 2 years out from Dday, the kids are with STBXWW tonight. Santa has already been to my house so thinking of others on SI as well. Holidays do get better with time.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official in 7/2014

Posts: 1821 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

(((Dan)))

I really just cannot imagine having to share children. It is a bitter pill for me to swallow but I am thankful Xh and I have no children. I really don't think I could do it. Those of you who do have my immense respect and awe ... So many of you carry it off W/O problem, one that the kids can see. Breaks my heart when you all come here to vent/sad.

I wish for you strength and peace this Holiday. I wish I could do more ....


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Thanks Booger Bear


It is hard, but coming here makes it ever so much easier.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2605 | Registered: Jan 2010
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Merry Christmas, BB! You are dear to me and so sweet to post this message. I will find and bump the hugs thread and you can put one of your great hugs pics there.

Hang in there all. This Christmas may be hard, but there are possibilities ahead that are worth getting to.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5595 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

We are on our 7th Christmas after dday

Does that make me old?

I remember the first, I hadn't found SI and navigated through blindly. We hadn't decided to R yet and I spent most of the holidays covered in snot, tears and booger bubbles.

It gets better, don't try to make it special right now, just get through it. Enjoy the kids.

Take it slow and know we are all here knowing your pain and walking along side you.

(((hugs))) to everyone.

[This message edited by karmahappens at 5:47 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaďs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3772 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Alex CR
Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

This is our fourth Xmas since Dday....... I don't remember much about the first. Was in a state of shock.

But it does get better......

Be good to yourselves....hugs to everyone......


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1636 | Registered: Mar 2010
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I'm here too friends. It's my first Christmas "alone" but I'm not alone thanks to SI. Peace and strength to you all.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 688 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
lordhasaplan?
Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Me too! Lots of us old farts around to help. That first year sucked. You can make it though, focus on kids and yourself. I would go to the bathroom to have my breakdown and then lock back in on DS.
You can do this!
Peace to all.
LHAP?


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Nov 2010
20Hopeful16
Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Thank you all. It does suck. WH came over and opened gifts with the kids. Then he left to go back to the whore. I just feel so lonely. I know I have my kids, and soon my parents and other family, but I miss my husband. Not my WH, the good one that I had for the first 16 Christmases we spent together.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

(((20hopeful16))) Try to enjoy your children and your family today. Your true family who love YOU and choose YOU.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4585 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

This is my 6th Christmas alone since my D. I'll be seeing my family in a bit, which will be good.

But this evening, I'll be alone at home again.

Thank god for work tomorrow.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7425 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
JerseyCowgirl
Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

This is my 2nd. I too so sympathize with those of you with young children. But I truly believe that this time of the year is when those WS's really start to see the ramifications of their actions and finally a little bit of that hurt comes home to roost when they see they no longer have 24/7 access to their children, which we as the BS's figured this out at the onset. You will make your new family traditions and they will be
be good because of the great parents you all showed yourselves to be thru this.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
Betteroffnow
New Member
Member # 41776
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Thanks for this. As I sit here in our home, 6 months pregnant while my toddler naps, I hate that my cheating husband is on his way to pick him up. This was supposed to me my first really great Christmas with our boy. He finally gets it! The excitement, the happiness, the family time. And two months ago it was all taken from me. Snatched from under my feet before I ever got my first perfect Christmas as a mom. And now, with a divorce in the future, I will never get that perfect Christmas. It eats me up inside.

Posts: 2 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Maryland
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

As a child of D parents I can say you do not need both parents to have that perfect Christmas. Granted my parents D was very amicable, when we went to my dad's for a holiday we were there from start to finish, they didn't split 1/2 day here/there.

Then we got old enough to choose. Soon sports and friends made a difference where we were.

Point is my mom always made it a point to make it feel like the holiday no matter what holiday it was, whether we celebrated it early or late. We made our own traditions and it always felt special.

So many hugs to you all ....


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

It's 5:00 somewhere, right ???

On my 2nd drink and only one knife incident so far ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
marlie2014
Member
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I wondered today if I were crazy...people kept telling me how wonderfully I was dealing with the situation, but today I did have a breakdown and have been incredibly sad.

It is so good to know that the future will be brighter.


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2013
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Cool  Posted: 11:04 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Well it's over for some of you, others we still have just over an hour, other have 2-3+ hours left.

Newsflash you all made it break downs and all. Now that is saying something about YOU as a person, your resolve to get through this even when it is just unfuckingbearable. Not gonna lie here, I still have moments when it get's like that, good news .... they are fewer, I have better control of them(can even feel them coming on, sometimes)So I am better prepared. I have my mental emergency kit, emotional one, and some IRL ones. Sometimes I need them sometimes I don't, nice to know they are there though, just in case.

Now we prepare for one of the favorite holidays of single people all over, and those of us who are not by choice ..... New Years Eve has always been worse for me than V-day. Not sure why, guess I always fell jipped on this day. I was single for many years, when Xh and became an item -- he always had to work, had to be in bed early cause he had to work so early, or we were at a party/hanging out and he was off being a social butterfly and I was alone(essentially, even surrounded by others) always looking for him to come be with me.

I was never able to capture the magic of our 1st New Years Eve .... That first one the one that started everything off, was epic. Nothing after ever came even close ......

OOPS ---- sorry rambled and T/J'ed my own thread ...

More hugs and wishes for you all to have a soft, warm, safe place to rest your heads/hearts I know they have taken a beating ....

You made it though .... We knew you could


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
Topic Posts: 23