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User Topic: I need hugs. I am in such grief
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:42 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Last night, Christmas Eve, he died. The person closest to me in the world. Since birth.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:48 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and strength.

Posts: 35904 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:57 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Thanks Jo. I didn't say before, in case TMI, but he was my twin. He died so very bravely.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 5:10 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Oh no! I'm so sorry. Sending you many hugs and prayers.

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2840 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 5:12 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

My condolences, Edie.

Covering you in prayer.


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 16237
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

So sorry.

Posts: 1350 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 5:32 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 37398 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Edie, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38046 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.

Posts: 3777 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: PA
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


My deepest condolences on your lost. Sending you prayers.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52674 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

((Edie)). I am so very sorry. Sending prayers to you and your family.

People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8391 | Registered: Sep 2007
Grace and Flowers
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Words aren't enough to express how terribly sorry I am at your terrible loss.

I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1176 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
Member # 4770
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

((((Edie)))) I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers of comfort to you and your family. If you want to talk about him, we'll listen.

"Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any of one of those is to lose all three." - Anon.

Posts: 4851 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Denver, CO
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Oh, (((Edie)))). I am so very sorry. So sorry.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8848 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Edie, I am so sorry for your loss. Surrounding you in prayers and hugs.

Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2708 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Oh((((Edie)))) I am so very sorry, you and your family are in my prayers.

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 868 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I am so sorry for your loss. (((Edie)))

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10378 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3124 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

((((Edie)))) I am so very sorry, honey. Holding you in my thoughts.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25746 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8085 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I am so sorry, Edie.

You are in our prayers.

2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D

Posts: 2072 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Condolences, prayers and hugs, Edie. I am so sorry.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4133 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

(((Edie))) I am so very sorry for your loss.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12166 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I am sure that any words I could give you right now will probably not ease your pain and deep grief. But please know I like everyone else here will listen to you as you work through this for as long as you need. Try to have a good day and you can PM me if you need a listening ear. I am sitting here doing nothing today and would be willing to give you my phone # if you have no one to talk to.

Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 336 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry (((((Edie))))

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20289 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

oh, no... I have no words that could possibly ease your pain, but I will send a prayer for you and your brother and ask Him to give you solace. (((edie)))

Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

Posts: 1222 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
Member # 22478
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Edie I am so very sorry to learn of the loss of your brother. My prayers are with you.


Married 10 years at DDay
Me: 53 Him: 52 - Desperately trying to unfuck the donkey.
DDay: July 16, 2008
FWH Epiphany: Aug.23, 2008 NC: Aug. 28, 2008

Posts: 5624 | Registered: Jan 2009
Member # 38337
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


I am so terribly sorry for your loss.


Lies are manipulations. Always.

Posts: 387 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7769 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Edie, your PMs are full, but if you need someone to talk to, any time day or night, let me know and I will share my number. Losing a brother is like losing a limb. (I hope your brother finds mine, who also left this world too early after a hard and dignified battle.)

I was thinking about you, before hearing this news. And now I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love and millions of hugs to you, my friend.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8848 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Sending you love and my deepest sympathies. I am so sorry Edie.

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44968 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)

(((Edie))) I am so sorry.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24596 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17535 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


Sending you hugs and prayers. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.

Posts: 1678 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Thank you everybody for all your hugs and messages, they all helped so much. I am sure that it is something that it will take me some time to get used to as all happened so quickly over just a month so we are all still in shock. I feel pretty much cried out for now, and we managed to have a tranquil close family Christmas Day, where he was remembered irreverently and reverently in equal measure.

Wishing everybody peace and good will also, thank you for sending them my way.

Solus, thanks for pointing out my PM blockage, have sorted it. X

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Exit Wounds
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I am soooo sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


You've been in my thoughts today. I'm keeping you and your family in my heart.

Posts: 35904 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

So very sorry for your loss. Bless you and your family.

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2242 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Thanks again Jo. He was a much-loved person with so many friends, there will be a huge number of phone calls we will have to do to inform people of the news tomorrow. We kept it completely to ourselves today, so as not to bring down friends and other family Christmas Day glow. And so it has been good to have been able to come here to SI and to feel the warmth and support.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


many many hugs. My deepest sympathies.

Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


I'm so sorry.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


My heartfelt sympathies.

Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4003 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


Condolences. Praying for you and your family in your time of loss.

Stay close to your support system. If you have a religion, even if you don't practice it regularly, now it's the time to get in touch with it. It will provide a lot of healing.

Either way, get close to your family, emphasize the good times you had together, which in your case I'm sure there's more than in almost all cases.

The most wonderful way to acknowledge his bravery is to celebrate his life as much as doing the mourning.

As Thriving says, if you want to talk about him, we're here to listen.

Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry, Edie. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 7824 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)


I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I wish I had the perfect words of comfort.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

(((Edie))) I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D

Nowhere left to go but up!

Posts: 108 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

Losing a sibling is so painful; I can't even imagine losing your twin.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

(((((Edie and Family)))))

Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert

Posts: 3245 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

(((Edie))) I am so sorry for your loss.

Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2432 | Registered: Mar 2007
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, December 25th (Wednesday)

((Edie)) You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers....May God grant you peace.....HUGS

You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4845 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Thank you all. Your words are really helping. Really.

(DBB, a delight to see you).

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 2:54 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


Keeping you in my prayers and sending you light.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:32 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17846 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:57 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Oh ((((Edie)))), I am so sorry for your loss.

Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2609 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Member # 14054
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


Posts: 398 | Registered: Mar 2007
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 6:56 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

(((Edie and family)). So very sorry!


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Sep 2009
Member # 17686
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: how far the east is from the west
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

I am so sorry for your loss, Edie. This
Losing a sibling is so painful; I can't even imagine losing your twin.
is so true! Words fall short of expressing my sorrow for your loss of your dear brother. ((((Edie))))

BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

I am so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
sinsof thefather
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1882 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


Words can never be enough when it comes to dealing with loss, but may you find peace and comfort in the warm memories you have.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your entire family.

Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2782 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 8460 | Registered: Apr 2008
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


So very sorry to hear of your loss!

Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1873 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


I'm sorry Edie. Sending prayers and peace to you.

Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Member # 20152
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Peace be with you and yours at this difficult time. (((Edie)))

XBS - 42 and fabulous :D
Remarried happily in 2013
A relationship is built for two. But apparently, some bitches don't know how to count!

Posts: 602 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: The Chesapeake Bay
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, December 26th (Thursday)


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1254 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

(((Edie))) I am so sorry for your loss.

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5977 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

I'm so sorry for your loss Edie. ((((Hugs))))) and prayers.

Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

I am so sorry Edie. I can't imagine how you must feel, especially the closeness of a twin. ((Hugs))

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4609 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
looking forward
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, December 26th (Thursday)


I am so very sorry for your loss. I am a twin, so I can especially relate. I have also lost two brothers.
My sincere condolences.

Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2855 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

(((Edie&family))) So sorry for your loss.

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"

Posts: 9755 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

Edie I am so sorry. I have a twin brother too & there are just no words. I am so incredibly sorry.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
trying to smile
Member # 9683
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

Oh Edie, such a profound loss.
Sending love XXxx



Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
Dday1 Aug 2005
Dday2 Aug 2014
I should have listened when he showed me who he was the first time.

Posts: 6195 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: The Land Down Under
Member # 9973
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

I am so very sorry.
I wish I had read this before I posted something so frivolous earlier.
Your post is a reminder of what is truly important in this life. Thank you for sharing your personal grief and love for someone so dear to you.
Sending you a hug and praying for God's comfort to wrap you up and keep you.
As others have said, words are not enough.


Shock has worn off. Now the 'fun' begins.
After several years of solid R, (F)MOW
CHECKS IN in to say Hi~ H CHECKS OUT briefly and "forgets to tell me" because IT HADN'T gotten
physical this time. 4 months out again same MOW

Posts: 2852 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: The Valley
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Edie I've only just seen this.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. There are no words. Sending strength and peace to you.


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!

Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, December 27th (Friday)


Posts: 11750 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Edie, you often had perfect words for me, I have a loss for what to say other than to say I am sorry for you.


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4133 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Member # 32546
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, December 27th (Friday)

(((Edie))) May you find peace in the memories you have.

Me:BS (46) Him:WH (46)
Married 20 years/together 26
Two DS 16/14
DD#1 2/1994 (PA) DD#2 1997-2000?? several EA DD#3 2/17/2011 PA 6 months DD#4 7/13/2011 My Space Account (from 20007) looking for casual sex 10/17/2011 DD#1,000,000... new EA

Posts: 199 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: los angeles
booger bear
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, December 27th (Friday)

(((Edie & loved ones)))

So sorry ... a lifetime of memories to you & yours peace and kindness throughout your new year.

I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Oh, Edie. I'm so, so sorry.

Keeping you in my thoughts tonight.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:43 AM, December 28th (Saturday)


Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5272 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, December 28th (Saturday)


I'm so very sorry. I know the pain of losing a loved one with very little notice. It is very hard - but for the loss to be a twin? I'm so deeply sorry for your loss.

The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, December 28th (Saturday)

((((((Edie)))))) How generous and thoughtful of you to wait to share this with others so as not to change the mood of their holiday! That speaks volumes about you...

I'm holding you all in the *LIGHT* and hope you can find solace...SK

Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3663 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, December 29th (Sunday)


I just don't have any words that I think could possibly soothe you in such a heartbreaking situation so please just know I am holding you in my thoughts and praying that God will do the rest.

Much love my sweet friend.


Posts: 7682 | Registered: May 2005
Deeply Scared
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, December 29th (Sunday)


I'm so very sorry Sending you love and peaceful thoughts during such a difficult time

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 198309 | Registered: May 2002
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, December 30th (Monday)


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

Sending you warm hugs. (((((Edie))))

I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.

Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
Topic Posts: 89