I am sorry, it does suck. The first year is full of shitty WTF moments, I hear you. I remember the pain and I am sorry you are going through it.
Unfortunately the only thing you can do is go through it. Do you have anyone IRL that knows what is going on that you can lean on for support? A friend, your sister?
If you do, go to them and share your pain. They wouldn't want you hurting alone.
If you don't, kick up your feet and hang with us. Bitch, yell. stomp your feet, cry...whatever you need.
We are here and we are right there with you...
(((hugs))) It WILL get better, it seems so far away, but it will. One day at a time.