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Reconciliation
User Topic: the iPad
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

I need to write this out to make sense of it. - I'm so tired of having to think about shit like this...

Got hubby an iPad for Christmas - the first thing he says is "yay, I can have them put the work email software on there so I don't have to use my phone and can work more from home."

Just two days earlier he was complaining about how his phone gets log jammed with emails and that "the bank is funny" about loading the technology on staff home computers."

so when he gets his iPad I say, "but our laptop and the iPad are both home computers." He had no answer. For some reason he doesn't want the laptop loaded with email software. Why would he lie about this? He knows I have had keylogger on it at times but he also knows I could do anything to his iPad that I want to. He knows next to nothing about technology. If he is embarrassed to bring our laptop in because everyone else has iPads then just say that. Why lie?

This will be brought up in MC on January 2 - if I can wait that long. However, it's this kind of thing that makes trust near impossible. And he doesn't realize this.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4471 | Registered: Dec 2010
siriannic
New Member
Member # 41403
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Hey,

I sympathize with you. Our emotions and anxiety get the better of us.

I would suggest (speaking from experience) to try to stay cool. At least until the 2nd. There is a big chance that there is nothing devious in his thinking. Of course I am speaking from my current moment of calm.

He may have just been making a comment about what he could do with the iPad besides something like 'wow, great, thanks). Know what I mean. So when you questioned the need to add work stuff there really is no answer because he was just talking.

I'm learning to slowly let go and start trusting again. Slowly lol.



Staying as positive as possible.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Sir, I get what you're saying but after two affairs, even the little white lies raise flags for me..,


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4471 | Registered: Dec 2010
wifehad5
Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

My company has special policies to be able to connect e-mail to devices like phones and tablets. They need to have extra layers of passwords of varying difficulty. In some ways it's more of a pain than dragging out the laptop.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 36423 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
siriannic
New Member
Member # 41403
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Rachelc. Sorry about that didn't realize you were dealing with two affairs.

I can understand the flags raising.

You need to speak to him then. Tell him how you feel without accusations. He should try to calm you. But that is my opinion.


Staying as positive as possible.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 5