User Topic: E M D R - Anyone try this?
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

I will try anything, but I am actually talking about for my husband.

We are dealing with our child's substance experimentation. Talk / education regarding addiction has been very upsetting for WH (due to FOO issues), and when I mentioned this to my child's counselor, he suggested EMDR for him.

I asked him, and he agreed. Unbelievable.

I was wondering if there is any information you could give me about what he is to expect?

Thank you.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 10:05 AM, December 26th (Thursday)]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1850 | Registered: Apr 2012
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

I have and I used the electronic tappers. I saw my husband on top of OW#2 so that's one of the reasons I have PTSD.
anyway, it really makes me feel relaxed. It has removed that picture for me. I'm exhausted afterwards... it brings up things you don't think you're thinking about...
I do believe many have different experieences.
Good luck!

his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."

Posts: 4511 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

I've done EMDR twice, both in 2005 (which pulled me out of a very long depression that meds seemed unable to touch, astonishingly quickly), and I've gone back to do more recently. I'm only doing more now because I stopped before I really was done before.. new baby made things a bit hectic.

I don't know that it works for everyone, but for those who it does work for, it pays off a huge amount especially given the amount of effort put into it. All you really need to be able to do is follow instructions and accurately report how you're feeling (emotionally or physically) at any given time. It and cognitive-behavioral therapy are the two first-line treatments for PTSD, although I imagine both would work fine for "smaller" things like simpler traumas or even disturbing things from the past.

So, I would strongly recommend giving it a solid try. Note that improvements mostly happen in between sessions, and initially you can get a lot of weird, maybe upsetting feelings, but.. for me, that was satisfying. It wasn't like being triggered. It was just, hey, I can feel these things instead of shutting down. And then after a while, they subsided and I felt like I was no longer 'stuck' in that area.

Me: born 1982.
DD: born 2006 (I have abt 80% custody).
My D-Day was April 2012. Divorced Jul 2013.

Posts: 685 | Registered: Nov 2012
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, December 26th (Thursday)

Thank you for this info.

My WH is the most conflict avoidant, passive aggressive, withdrawn person I know. I have not known whether he just didn't care about me any more - but I think some of it is possibly depression.

He had Satan for a father, and his FOO was very complicated. The pressures of infertility, adoption, kids with special issues, his own rather severe disability, and an unprecidented number of family deaths in recent years, etc., have taken its toll on him. Then his infidelity and my response to it has been what has finally sent him into almost total withdrawal.

He is here physically, but somewhere else mentally.

When I read about other WH on this site, I begin to place their behaviors on MY WH - "He must be cheating again", etc. But I really believe he is ill equipped to deal with all out shit right now.

I am truly hoping this helps him - whether it helps our marriage or not. He is not a big fan of counseling, but has agreed not only to the EMDR, but also to marriage counseling.

We will see.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1850 | Registered: Apr 2012
Topic Posts: 4