User Topic: Today
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

I had an appointment with my oncologist. And as I sat there alone, as i always did, I thought about things. About how he didn't care when I had cancer. About how nooone sat in the waiting room alone but me. Everyone had someone to care about them. Except for me. I went through it alone.

I have another appt. tommorrow and he wants to go. And I think, what's the point? I'm better now. But when i was scared, really terrifies, and "husband" was nowhere to be found.

He was too concerned with getting drunk and having "FUN"

Just a pity party I guess. He's different now. But that's who I was dealing with at the time. And omg how it hurts......

D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1083 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, December 26th (Thursday)


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 40637
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, December 26th (Thursday)


BS 60; fWH 59; 2 children, 1 grandchild; Married 37+ years, he is my only; D-day 7/8/13; MOW, PA 2009-?. Broke it off about a week before I found out. Sexting on cheating forums 14 YEARS. Idiot me. STATUS UPDATE - SEPARATED :-(

Posts: 167 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Member # 41166
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

((((Heforgetme)))) I am so sorry for all of your pain and loneliness.

I too feel alone. I haven't faced cancer, so I can't imagine...but both of my parents are dead at a young age and I am an only child. I frequently cry and feel alone in this world. But I also know I am strong and can rely on myself to get through things no matter what.

You are brave and strong.

[This message edited by RipsInMyChest at 5:07 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]

Me: BW 41
FWH 41
Together 21 yrs, M 18, 2 kids
DDay: 12/11/12 ONS with CW
Used condom, got chlamydia anyway.

His betrayal of me was not because I didn't shine brightly enough, but because he chose to put on blinders.

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, December 26th (Thursday)


Posts: 36043 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 41759
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

I can relate to how you feel but I know now I didn't communicate well enough that I needed him there with me. Sometimes you have to literally spell it out for them.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

Oh my dear. How I feel for you.
Sending many many huggs HUGGSSS

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, December 26th (Thursday)


I am also a survivor. My Un-ex and I were already divorced when I was diagnosed. He wasn't there for me--wasn't even told until my daughter let it slip.

But that is all in our past. We are together now, forever. We are even planning to remarry on what would have been our 35th anniversary. He goes with me for the semi-annual exams and wouldn't have it any other way.

Don't linger on the bad past. Look to your happy future. I have the same thoughts as you are experiencing. But I push them away. They are not yours or mine's reality.

We beat cancer! We can sure as hell beat infidelity triggers.

More hugs!

BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 427 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, December 26th (Thursday)

I am very sorry you had to go through those times alone ((hfm)). But like the title of your post - today - try to stay in today, or rather, in the moment and focus on who your spouse is today. I suppose if you would rather go solo, then do so. But if you really do want him there then let go and have him by your side. It would also be good for him to sit there and imagine what it would have been like for you to be there alone. Yet another eye-opener for him

I am glad you are well.

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 9