Off Topic
User Topic: Holiday Vent (I want in on the fun too)
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, December 27th (Friday)

I have been inspired by the other holiday vents. I also want folks to know that most family's are dysfunctional, and that you are not alone if you find this to be one of the most stressful times in your year.

My parents. I love them, I really do, but they were both only children, and as such do not understand that both my sister and I have other family to spend the holiday's with.

My sweet (I wish there was a sarcasm font, because I would be using it) mother feels it is necessary to have the entire family meaning my sister and her spouse and 2 girls, and of course my H, two kids, and myself at her home (which we are neighbors with all another) all day on Christmas eve, and all day on Christmas.
My mother is a controlling, self serving, judgmental, soul. My sister at 46 is still finding need of her approval, and still wants to be the good daughter. Whereas I gave up on this a long time ago. I will not let her snide comments about my weight, my housekeeping skills, or even my marriage piss me off, and I certainly don't need her approval for anything I choose to do.

She did manage to get a few zingers in over those two days, like the fact that my family were the last to show up both days (yup we came late, at 1:30pm). That they never talk to us, I guess that's because they have some sort of strange phone that only allows incoming calls, and since my sister calls them everyday, and I don't that I'm the bad kid.

Overall though I made it, I didn't even get pissy. I enjoyed my meals, drank my wine, and was relatively quiet.

The one passive aggressive thing my mom did that got me though was trying to feed me icecream. I have been unable to eat ice cream since I was in college, yet she seems to be unable to retain this fact. It makes me violently ill, and yet she insists I have never shared this fact with her in the past 20 years. Seriously woman. I give up.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Your post should be another Christmas movie theme!
I would pay money. Yep, the typical dysfunctional family at Christmastime.
I'll add another one. One of my roommates in the Army invited me (many many years ago) to her family Christmas festivities since I was in town.
First, though, she warned me.
"StillLivin, my family isn't the typical family, ok. If a fight breaks out or the guns come out and are shot off in the air, just duck and do NOT try and break up any of the fights! My family is one of those crazy Indian families!"
I gave her a hug, and told her she made me feel right at home. One of the best not family Christmas parties I went to. BTW only 2 fights broke out and only the elders shot off the guns in celebration!

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, December 27th (Friday)

I also want folks to know that most family's are dysfunctional, and that you are not alone if you find this to be one of the most stressful times in your year.

I told someone who was down in the dumps about their 'crappy' holiday this just two days ago LOL!! Its so true. All of the Hallmark cards, facebook posts, and Christmas cards with smiling family photo montages on them are enough to make those of us without perfect lives and homes and families feel bad

I will have my own facebook post with pictures about a nice Christmas 2013 (and it was) with pics of smiling kids in a beautiful home...

But the truth is... I dislike 90 % of the people I spent the holiday with (but we have all been civil and down right cheerful this holiday. We don't necessarily like each other but we can get along for a few days) The beautiful house and Christmas tree shot is not MY house (which it might look like to some people who don't know me well) Its a cousins' home and beautiful tree. We rent. We don't have enough money for that beautiful home (or even that Marta Stewart tree! )

no one has a perfect life. love the one you have!

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, December 27th (Friday)

and ps, tushnurse, im sorry your mom zings ya about spending the entire holiday with her... I understand that guilt. our families don't try to make us feel bad when we go to the other side's house, but you know they would rather you come to their side for the holiday.

that's enough to make you feel guilty! I cant imagine what id do if my mom or mil actively said YOU COME HERE!! (((HUGS)))

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Ok I'm going to share. I love my family. But we're nuts. All of us. True story. And my brother is in med school to be a psychiatrist so now we're getting diagnosed at most get togethers .

Anyhow. All of my siblings are much younger than me. In their 20's. They have developed a tradition of a beer pong tournament on Christmas night after everyone over 30 goes home or to bed. So I don't play. Shucks.
Anway, this classiest of traditions was disbanded this year. Yep nobody got the trophy (yes there really is a trophy). In the retelling yesterday, the breakdown was that youngest brother and second youngest brother were trading what I am sure was witty and delightful drunken banter, it got physical, oldest brother had to break it up and had them both in a headlock. Youngest sister decided that this was a good time throw her drunken self into the mix and give a wedgie to second youngest brother. I mean, why not, he was in a headlock afterall. He was in his boxers, because apparently that's what you play Christmas family beer pong in. She wedgied him so hard she ripped them.
This fine event ended up with both youngest brothers in tears, and storming off to their rooms.
Second youngest brother got up at noon yesterday and had to ask why his butt was hanging out of his boxers.

Then we all dressed in our holiday finery and went to visit extended family where we all sweetly discussed University and career opportunities and Masters Degrees. Because that's how this family rolls.

Your serve..

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44928 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Don't know where I've seen this quote but I just love it...

"My family. We put the FUN in dysFUNctional!"

Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3644 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, December 27th (Friday)

It makes me violently ill, and yet she insists I have never shared this fact with her in the past 20 years

You need to eat it every time she offers it, and then vomit all over her favorite rug. She'll remember that

FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 37352 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, December 27th (Friday)

Ugh. I'm sorry.

She wedgied him so hard she ripped them.

Posts: 35758 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, December 27th (Friday)

It makes me violently ill, and yet she insists I have never shared this fact with her in the past 20 years
You need to eat it every time she offers it, and then vomit all over her favorite rug. She'll remember that

I agree!!!

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24587 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, December 27th (Friday)

throttling tush nurse's momma for her

Hope that helps!

You guys make me feel better about my life. My parents are also driving me batshit. My mom is pissed at me because I wouldn't transport some foster dog 200 miles on my way to see my sister (honestly my car was FULL of presents for my nieces and nephew). And my dad and stepmom are letting a paroled former inmate live with them! My father is a prison minister but COME ON!!! He didn't even tell sister had to!!!

I never realized while growing up how nuts people are!

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2238 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Topic Posts: 10