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User Topic: Question mostly for WS but BS can answer too
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, December 28th (Saturday)

What is your definition of STRANGE? The reason I ask is because last month my WS says to me you don't have to worry about me going for strange. Yes I've been sitting on this for a month I'm a Moran. Baw I asked him his definition of Strange and he responds not familiar WTF he's aready had this OW more then twice what's to stop him not me I'm nothing especially since he's told ow he's only with me because of the kids my youngest is got 6 more years to be 18 I love him with everything I have but I don't want to be with someone that doesn't love me and I don't want to be with a man that thinks he is obligated to be with me

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
jackson
Member
Member # 18819
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

I suppose he means no more new (strange) pussy. Not exactly reassuring is it?

Posts: 790 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Midwest
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

Isn't that the truth mixed emotions here

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

In vernacular, "strange" refers to a new woman, in a sexual context. "Getting some strange" means having sex with a woman other than your wife.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8505 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

They almost ALWAYS tell the OW that they are here for the kids... It's like part of the script.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
NeverAgain2013
Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

They almost ALWAYS tell the OW that they are here for the kids... It's like part of the script.

LMAO...and when their kids are grown with kids of their own, they use the excuse that they can't leave their grandkids.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1675 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

So it's not another woman? So then with ow saying that I shouldn't have to have to worry?

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

"strange" is a new sexual partner. So yes, it IS another woman.

Don't listen to OW or the things your H said to her. Cheaters lie to everyone, and OW was willing to sleep with a man that was married and has children. Do you really think she is someone that you should trust?

Why didn't you ask your WS what he meant by his comment?


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

When I heard him say his definition I basically was in shock in my head I was thinking WTF if that's what that means couldn't you still go to the GTF if we have problems. my definition of strange anyone that isn't my husband. He's cheated on me three times twice with the same person so is she still strange or no? I don't trust her at all because my husband isn't the only married man she's been with and they all have restraining orders against her except my husband he won't even do a no contact letter. So I'm confused on how he really feels

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

He's cheated 3 times, twice with this woman that causes men to get restraining orders? That sounds dangerous all by itself.

Very respectfully, making flippant comments about 'worrying about strange' doesn't sound very remorseful. Neither does a refusal to send an NC letter.

May I ask, what boundaries have you put in place, and how is he helping you to heal?


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

He said I don't have to worry about him cheating on me again that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He has been coming home and staying home which is a huge step for him

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Clarrissa
Member
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, December 28th (Saturday)

FWW here. If he doesn't do the work to find out why he cheated and change his way of coping with his issues in a healthier manner, he can promise all he wants, won't change anything. It takes a hell of a lot more than "I'll never do it again" to fix the damage.

For true R to even *start* NC absolutely *must* be established. A simple "Never contact me, my wife or my family again. If you persist, legal action will be taken." Even better, have a lawyer send her this. That way she knows your WH is serious and it firmly slams the door on the possibility that your WH may want to reconnect at some point.

Right now, I don't think you're in R because your WH doesn't appear to be all in. Not if he won't send the NC letter. I can't understand why he wouldn't either considering she already has restraining orders on her. Why is he afraid to add another if necessary?

This soon out and for a long time to come, you need to watch his actions. Forget what he says, what are his actions telling you? They're telling me he wants to rugsweep and not deal with what he did, hoping it will all just go away. Won't happen, especially if you have a psycho OW in the picture.


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5875 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, December 29th (Sunday)

He says he doesn't have anything to say GTF is the reason why he won't do no contact letter.

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, December 29th (Sunday)

What is GTF? I checked the abbreviation thread and there was nothing. Get the Fudge (Out) is all I can think of and that doesn't make sense.

Anyway, it sounds to me that your WS told you last month that you don't need to worry about him finding someone else. He already has you and OW.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4138 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, December 29th (Sunday)

It is the name for her stands for Gutter Fish Troll and I know for a fact that he's not seeing her because of the glares I get I just don't understand his definition of strange he's very complicated he's been that way since he was 14

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:19 AM, December 30th (Monday)

Yeah, my WH told his EAP he was here for the kids, and that he was in love with her, and i was an obligation... However, when I set him free, with me is where he stayed. Twice. I couldn't kick the motherfucker out.

For me, strange means cheating. Someone other than your wife.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 5:20 AM, December 30th (Monday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 16