SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: Tech help
qwerty2012
New Member
Member # 41311
Stop  Posted: 5:02 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

My BS was on my laptop and found an email and photo of my indiscretions. I scrubbed my computer that the basic searches don't find the emails or photos.
Looks like i missed a photo on iCloud - i deleted it - but i can't seem to find the folder where she found it.
With regard to the email - it's not in my email account - both on my computer or web. She printed it out for me.
I can't find either on the backups either . at least through the basic searches.

Have basic IT skills - google searches yielded nothing.

Any suggestions please?
If none, i am thinking of deleting entire back up and reformatting computer.


Posts: 43 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Hell
SlowUptake
Member
Member # 40484
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

So your BS found it and you can't?

Why not tell your BS this and ask her to find it again and delete it, if that's what she wants?

This would demonstrate openess & honesty.

Just something to ponder.YMMV.

[This message edited by SlowUptake at 5:59 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)]


Me:WS,50+
Her:BS,50+ (WantToWakeUp)
Married 33yrs
Dday Dec 2009

"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras

There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Limbo in Oz
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

Are you afraid of her finding more?

If that's what's behind your question, then I second SlowUptake's suggestion to be open about this with your wife. "BW, I thought I deleted all photos/emails of AP off the computer. Since you found [the email & photo in question], apparently they are still accessible. What would you like me to do about this?" If she wants to use her method to look for more, allow her to do so and then allow her to delete them if she wishes, etc. Or if she prefers you to reformat the computer, do that.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 6:12 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)]


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled and remarried.


Posts: 2135 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
qwerty2012
New Member
Member # 41311
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

Multiple issues at play
1. My wife thinks i broke NC which i haven't
2. Also thinks i am following/remembering/etc. OW which i am not
3. My wife is currently pretty hurt to work with me to figure it out

Posts: 43 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Hell
SlowUptake
Member
Member # 40484
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

Multiple issues at play
1. My wife thinks i broke NC which i haven't
2. Also thinks i am following/remembering/etc. OW which i am not
3. My wife is currently pretty hurt to work with me to figure it out

Irrelevant. Focus on the best course of action for your wife, not what feels comfortable to you. Do this on your own and the shit will really hit the fan.

Just something to ponder.YMMV.


Me:WS,50+
Her:BS,50+ (WantToWakeUp)
Married 33yrs
Dday Dec 2009

"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras

There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Limbo in Oz
qwerty2012
New Member
Member # 41311
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)

Thank you.
I have been transparent and she has full access.
My guess is that she hadn't really looked before and obviously i wasn't thorough enough.

I guess i will just have to be patient now and wait to find out what she wants to do.


Posts: 43 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Hell
Topic Posts: 6