SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Curious- What did you do with your rings?
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, January 6th (Monday)

What did you do with your engagement/wedding rings, and what did your spouse do? Did you give them back? Sell them? Save them?


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I threw the cheap ring out the back door. Never did look for it or see it again. I guess it is now buried under the foundation of my new house. If anyone ever finds it they will be very disappointed. Didn't really care what he did with his.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I only wore a white gold band. I threw it into the bay about an hour or two into DD.

This reminds me that I still have the engagement diamond earrings somewhere. My plan was to throw them out the window near where we met so I'd associate that place as the place I threw valuable earrings out the window rather than the as the place we met.

I've decided to sell them and donate the proceeds to a local women's support group. Anything I bought with that money would remind me of that M so that is not an option.

ETA the sad clown wore his for weeks. Then decided to take it off and put it on display right at eye level. He was upset that I threw mine away. During False R he kept urging me to get a replacement. I told him his ring triggered me - my own would be worse.

He ended up burying his in a large planter box he painstakingly built in our new home while I watched on heavily pregnant with our first child.

He wanted me there when he did it - I didn't want to be there.

God I was so proud of that stupid thing. Subconsciously it was a symbol of all of my hopes and dreams. I thought of home grown veggies, herbs, flowers. Sharing the experience with his and my child.

Neither of us grew anything in it and it was often full of weeds. Ironic that it turned out to be a symbol of my reality.

I think the new owners have taken it down - good riddance!

[This message edited by SBB at 7:40 AM, January 6th (Monday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
PhoenixRising88
Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I sold our wedding bands and my engagement ring.

I used the money I got to have a day at the spa getting mani/pedi and massage, and a dinner with one of my best girlfriends.

And then i used the rest of it to cover the filing fee for the divorce papers!!!!!


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Sold them on craigslist and used the money to pay for my first semester of grad school.

No one wanted to buy his the three times I tried to sell it, so when I moved, it went in the trash can. Oh well!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13733 | Registered: Jul 2011
hurtbs
Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, January 6th (Monday)

My ex wanted the ring (the full set)back, so I sold it to him (less than its value but more than I would have gotten at a pawn shop). I don't know what he did with his. He gave it to (then) OW2. I don't know if she kept it or not when they broke it off. I kind of hope so...


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15321 | Registered: Jun 2006
mof2
Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Mine is a big diamond surrounded by little diamonds. I am extracting the big diamond to give to my son that he can put in a setting when he proposes to the girl he is going to marry. The rest I am selling.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
littlefoggy
Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, January 6th (Monday)

The diamond in my engagement ring is a family heirloom of mine going back several generations. So I am keeping the diamond for DD.

The actual rings will probably get sold.

My engagement ring is a beautiful antique setting. It will be shame to melt it down. Womp womp.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2013
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Mine aren't worth much, but I'm planning on selling them to put it towards the D. I have like no money for a lawyer and it seems apt.


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 973 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
dbellanon
Member
Member # 39236
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Still have the wedding band out of sight somewhere. Might sell it eventually. It's not worth a ton. Don't know what XWW did with hers but she's an idiot if she doesn't sell it. I was able to purchase her engagement ring at cost, and it was later appraised at 4 times the amount I paid for it.

There's a part of me that feels entitled to get it back (though of course I never will). I gave it to her as a pledge of a lifelong commitment that she threw away. So she gets to discard the commitment, but keep the pledge? Say you were buying a house and gave a down payment to the seller and then that same person sold the house to someone else, but kept your money. Ridiculous.

There should be a law against cheaters making off with their engagement rings.

Frankly, if I ever get engaged again, there's no way I'm going to be able to get the kind of deal I got on that ring. Better start saving up...


ME: BH, 28
Her: WW, 27
DD: 4
Married 6 Years.
DDay: Early May, 2013
Divorced

Posts: 217 | Registered: May 2013
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I hocked my wedding ring to help me buy a new banjo. Then I wrote a song about it.

I have no idea what The Princess did with hers. She can shove it up her arse.

[This message edited by pass at 8:44 AM, January 6th (Monday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1894 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I kept all of them. None are worth very much money, I have a thing about not having jewelry that costs more than a car or house payment. I have a total of 5 rings and 5 children. I figured someday they can each have a ring. We have all agreed that the 17 years we were a family was pretty damn good for us and we have fond memories of their father during that time. We choose to remember our family in this way.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1751 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, January 6th (Monday)

WXH gave his back to me shortly after dday. It took over 4 years to save, but I took the diamond (which I loved!) out of the engagement band and had a very talented goldsmith design and make me a new ring with the diamond and my 3 kids' birthstones. The gold of the rings offset the cost overall. My new family/new beginning ring is simply stunning and I couldn't be happier.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2508 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I stole the ex's band from him and sold both his and my band for the gold $$. I had the stone removed (it is a very nice, valuable stone) and am trying to sell it. My jeweler wants me to make a necklace out of it but no way, that stone is poisoned.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Mine sat in a drawer fr several years then I decided to sell them at one of those cash for gold places.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49473 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I took back the wedding ring and the band from stbxww. Those along with mine are in a box in a drawer. I have no use for them but I am keeping them for the kids. When they are older and ask specific questions I will tell them what happened and give them the option to do what they will with the rings and other items I kept for them. I kept the wedding album, the wedding tape, and various pictures of WW and myself. Most of it is at my parents house because I don't want it but the kids might in the future. They may want a picture of their parents together when they get older. If not they can toss them then along with the rings.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1903 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
whatdoto
Member
Member # 28555
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, January 6th (Monday)

My wedding ring was stolen by a cleaning lady we had years ago. WH never replaced it. I only wore my thin band since then. But once I decided to D, I cut it off and taped it to the front of our wedding picture that had already been removed from the wall. Left it at the house when I moved out.

I think XWH is still wearing his. huh?

[This message edited by whatdoto at 9:27 AM, January 6th (Monday)]


"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I have mine and the Gnat's rings. I plan to sell then at some point, but they're not worth much. I'm hoping it'll pay for some books for school.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 887 | Registered: Mar 2013
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Thanks for the input!

WH said we should sell ours and split the $$. But I was wondering if I'm entitled to keep my engagement and wedding bands and sell them and keep the $$ for myself.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
soveryweary
Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I sold mine for the cash.
He never wore one. Said it was because of his job.
You take YOUR rings and if you choose to sell them, keep the money.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
PhantomLimb
Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Bottom of my jewelery box, in a drawer, out of sight.

I've never worn any of the diamonds or anything else he ever bought me again, either.

[This message edited by PhantomLimb at 9:52 AM, January 6th (Monday)]


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
Bdell
Member
Member # 41673
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, January 6th (Monday)

My wedding ring is at the bottom of the Wabash River.

Posts: 240 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Indiana
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, January 6th (Monday)

Had an engraved wedding band.

D-day...took it off and put it in my purse.

10 months later...D finalized...pawned ring and went to casino...played black jack...broke even. Threw chips in purse and carried around for another year...

Until ex-shat married stripper whore a few weeks ago...took chips and hit black jack table again. Had a delightful evening and left table with enough money to treat myself to an excellent, super ritzy steak dinner.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, January 6th (Monday)

I took the original promise, engagement, wedding and 12th anniversary rings and had the stones removed and made into a beautiful necklace.

After decades of not wearing his wedding band, FWS had it cleaned and resized and wore it until the day he was cremated. I have that ring.

FWS bought me a new wedding ring on a cruise to Alaska with different stones. My original set had diamonds and emeralds. My new one had diamonds and tanzanite. He also asked if I would wear a wedding band since my line of work was not condusive to wearing fancy jewelry. We got a simple band made of tungsten steel which I wore.

I wore both wedding bands until I lost weight and nearly lost both bands when they slipped off my fingers. Then I wore them on a chain along with the silver cross he always wore. Now the rings/cross/chain sits in my jewelry box. The diamond and tanzanite ring I wear occasionally on the right hand.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6534 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, January 6th (Monday)

yes you are allowed to keep your own rings and do as you wish.
My ex tried to steal mine. he said if I sell it HE gets the money. Bullshit! its a gift. I sold it and paid bills.

I still need to sell my wedding band which I love. Try diamond bistro.


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
Grace and Flowers
Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, January 6th (Monday)

Wedding rings are a gift to you, and belong to YOU exclusively.

I took some needle nosed pliers to my wedding band and chopped it up into tiny bits and threw them at WXH. He carefully gathtered up the pieces. He said they "meant something to him". He apparently keeps the pieces, along with his wedding band, on his nightstand.

I have no idea what to do with my engagement ring. It's a beautiful marquise solitaire. It's the only diamond I have ever owned, and I will not likely own another unless I buy it for myself. It really is beautiful, but it just seems poisonous to me now. I wouldn't wear it if I made it into another piece of jewelry, but I can't seem to get rid if it either. So it sits, in my jewelry box.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1171 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, January 6th (Monday)

Mine are not worth very much money. I have kept them both for my children, maybe one of them will want to use or at least have them.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, January 6th (Monday)

I was going to sell mine, I'm going to need the money. It makes me sad to think about it, I loved my rings but to me holding on to them doesn't have a point to me. I think it will just remind me of a broken promise.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
Thefly559
Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, January 6th (Monday)

my 15,000 buck engagement ring she " lost" and called off wedding two weeks later! red flag ignored! then my wedding band I threw in the sewer on D day. no regrets


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 646 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, January 6th (Monday)

Wow, giving the wedding set to the mistress after buying it from the ex wife. That's a new level of klassy.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13733 | Registered: Jul 2011
justjim
Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, January 6th (Monday)

Went down to the garage and used a pair of dykes to cut it so that the perfect circle is broken... the symbol of a broken promise.

Set it on the dresser in the exact same spot where she left her rings before she walked out (Oh yeah, she took her diamond when she left). I see it every morning.

Reminds me not to ever get fooled again.


Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, January 6th (Monday)

I popped the stones out and kept them, but sold all of the gold and bought furniture!

One day I'll make earring for my daughter with the stones...


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, January 6th (Monday)

Sold his wedding band, my wedding set (the diamond was lost years ago and never replaced - think the universe was trying to tell me something? ), and the anniversary ring ring he gave me at 10 years. Used the money to pay the filing fee for the D.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25264 | Registered: Aug 2011
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, January 6th (Monday)

I traded mine in for another diamond ring and a kick ass set of diamond studs. They give me joy ( and make my girlfriends laugh) every time I wear them.

I took his and sold it for the gold. I took that money and blew it at the casino.

FTG.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7638 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, January 6th (Monday)

I sold the wedding ring right away. I'm still trying to get rid of the engagement ring. I have no idea what XWH did with his ring, nor do I care. I do know that he promptly replaced it with a new one when he married CommandOwife before the ink on our divorce papers was barely dry!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3596 | Registered: Oct 2011
Ann124
Member
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, January 7th (Tuesday)

I sold all three rings ... and donated the money to a local woman's shelter.

Posts: 386 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, January 7th (Tuesday)

I posted my engagement ring back to him.

Funny thing is it broke not too long after we got engaged. It is quite symbolic really.

(sorry edited due to a type-o!)

[This message edited by dindy at 2:44 PM, January 10th (Friday)]


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Emotionalhell
Member
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

I sold mine !!
Why keep it.

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jul 2013
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

I am thinking about what to do as well. I have an engagement ring that was pretty expensive, wedding band worth nothing, and then he gave me a diamond eternity band for our 10 year anniversary that is worth a lot. He was already having his affair at the time he gave me the eternity band, so I guess it means that for all eternity he will be a douchebag. HELLO??

I certainly don't want to wear either or give to anyone as they seem cursed. I think I want to sell them, but where is the best place to sell them to recover some of the value??


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
StrongAlone
Member
Member # 39564
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

wow, slow hand clap to those that chucked their rings in a lake, river or any other giant hole in the earth. I love it.

I'm so cheap that I'm going to pawn mine and maybe use it for a new bed and mattress set.


Me (BS) 40 Him (WH, SA, covert NPD) 41
Married 8 years, 2 young kids
DD1-Right after engagement 2004
DD2-Email from OW 2008
DD3-2012-Him diagnosed with cancer, I thought we grew closer, he kept cheating.
Divorcing.

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
velveteer
Member
Member # 30997
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, January 10th (Friday)

Sold mine - wasn't worth much. Stuck the money on a horse. It lost. Go figure.


Divorced

Posts: 877 | Registered: Jan 2011
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, January 10th (Friday)

I still have all of mine... We wore white gold bands, and during our 3-yr False R, I lost so much weight on the Infidelity Diet that my original wedding band kept falling off. Then-WH bought me a new one. Both of those are in my jewelry box.

He never gave me an engagement ring, but after we were married, his mother gave me her engagement ring. I'm a little surprised XH didn't want it back when we divorced, because he was nervous about his money situation.

I also have my grandmother's engagement ring (her H, my grandpa) cheated on her many times during their marriage I later found out. All these people (MIL, g'parents) are long passed away now. So I have the diamond rings in my safe deposit box and will probably offer the stones to my son for an engagement ring of his own design if/when he gets married, if he wants them. Otherwise... I should probably consider selling them; I'll never wear them again.


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, January 10th (Friday)

sorry, double post

[This message edited by ISPIFFD at 1:31 PM, January 10th (Friday)]


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
betrayed13yrs
Member
Member # 40343
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, January 10th (Friday)

My STBX douche bag stole mine. He says he never saw it, YA RIGHT!!!!!!!! I fully intended to keep mine in case my daughter wanted it someday:(

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CA
Topic Posts: 44