Just Found Out
User Topic: WH birthday
New Member
Member # 41967
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, January 8th (Wednesday)

My WH's birthday is this week, do I acknowledge it? I am trying to stick to the 180, even though we are living in the same house. I took the kids shopping to get him a few gifts, but I am struggling with this. I have celebrated 20 birthdays with him. He told me that there has been NC with OW, but I don't know if I believe him and if that is true, I am curious if she will come out of the shadows and make contact with him on his birthday...but then, why do I care?!

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Member # 41222
Default  Posted: 2:21 AM, January 9th (Thursday)

I read your profile and as you're doing the 180 and it says no gifts its a tricky one.

Personally, I think, in the spirit of 180, give a neutral card and maybe a small token gift. If only for the children to see you are strong.

DD#1 - 6th Oct 13 - TT
DD#2 - 9th Nov 13 - Full disclosure
DD#3 - 12th May 14 - FOG lifted and in R
7 week A, 2 weeks together, rest phone and email - PA and EA

Posts: 492 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, January 9th (Thursday)

IMO, taking the kids to get him gifts is effort enough. Tell him happy birthday and be done.

Posts: 204 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, January 9th (Thursday)

IMO, taking the kids to get him gifts is effort enough. Tell him happy birthday and be done.

^^^^^^^^ THIS. ^^^^^^^

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1836 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
New Member
Member # 41876
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, January 9th (Thursday)

Thanks for posting this question. My WH has a bday coming up and I'm torn about what to do. We're in the beginning of R, but I don't want to seem desperate.

Me BS 33
Him WS 34
Married 9 years
D Day 12/28/13
Attempting R

Posts: 14 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 41924
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

I'm in the same boat , WH BDAY is tomoro and I ALWAYS throw him a party, usually just a small dinner with our few close friends and few family members and the kids always look forward to it, I'm not doin the 180, idk IF I will havnt decided yet, but I am not throwing him a party this year but We r just having a small celebration with just us and the kids, went going to our vacation home(where the A took place , I kno I must b The dumbest person alive) but I am doing it for my kids,not him, bcuz I'm TRYNG to b as normal as I can in this very abnormal situation. I am NOT buying him a gift or a card , I will take my kids to the store today so THEY can pick him out a card & gift but I won't pay for it I told them to ask him for money this morning lol so I feel for u

WH: 39/BW:Me,32
Married 14 years in March, 2 Beautiful children 8 & 12
D-Day: Xmas Eve 2013-worst day of my life

"The most expensive thing in th world is TRUST, it takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose"

Posts: 102 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: santa rosa ca
Getting to Happy
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

Why would you buy a gift or celebrate with anyone who lied and cheated you, tried to blow up your family.

The fact that you are still around is his gift, a really big gift.

And that skank better not show show her ugly face.

Better yet buy him a can of 'Whore-be-Gone' for his BD!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
New Member
Member # 41967
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

Thanks Getting to Happy for the laugh! It has been a long time since I've had anything to smile about. Gift=me

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

Yep---just what Wonderpets said:
the kids got him a gift; that's more than enough.

Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Member # 41219
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

WH's birthday was about a month after d-day. I took our kids to get him a small gift from them and they made their own cards.
I managed to mumble Happy Birthday at the dinner table.

Me: BS, 30
Him: WH, 31, 1 month EA & PA
Married 9 years
Kids: 2 perfect boys
D-day: Nov 3, 2013
Working on R

Posts: 86 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: ND
Member # 41652
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

No gift!

Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 41404
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

My WH's birthday was a few days ago, and since we are attempting R, I took him to dinner at the local sports bar so he could watch his hometown hockey team's game. Gave him a card too, talking about "bumps in the road" and he cried when he opened it.

BW 55
WH 59
M 30 yrs, together 33 yrs, no children.
D-Day #1: 9/23/2013, EA 15+ months, PA with 34 YO business assoc
D-Day #2: 11/27/2013, OW, EA for 2-3 yrs (2005-2007), PA
D-Day #3: 6/6/2014, found the sex video
Status: Putting on my bitch bo

Posts: 120 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Washington DC
New Member
Member # 41967
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, January 9th (Thursday)

I did let the kids buy him a few the Dollar Store! Totally passive/aggressive and it felt great!

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 13