SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Why can't I vent?
SusanR
Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, January 10th (Friday)

WH told me the last week that he didn't read my email because he thought it was "just you venting". It wasn't. I asked a lot of questions that he refuses to answer but, even if it was a vent, wouldn't a contrite spouse read it? He said he'd rather not have to read long emails and that I shouldn't ask more than one question in an email. Really? He thinks he should be telling me how I should communicate with him.

He asked me to "throw him a bone". I think maybe I should throw it at him!

I am obviously going through an anger phase. It feels better than the sadness phases. I wish it would last longer! Almost a year out and I'm still riding the roller coaster.


Posts: 1931 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, January 10th (Friday)

One question per email so he can better keep his lies straight. Too many questions makes it too complicated!

XPOS used to tell me that I asked too many questions, made too much out of nothing, etc., etc. In the end, would never answer ANY of my questions, or with the most vague answers possible...

Anger is good when put to a productive purpose!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1086 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, January 10th (Friday)


Well you are right - you could vent to a contrite spouse. That isn't what you are dealing with apparently.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4113 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, January 10th (Friday)

So just put your question in the subject line, and then he can respond with his answer. It will make searching for his answers easier.

He is a controlling twit isn't he?

I also enjoyed the anger phase. It doesn't last forever....


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5805 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
BAB61
Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, January 11th (Saturday)

Ok, I'm confused ...it's a year out from what? Separation? Vent away .... if he can only handle 1 ? at a time send him a bunch of e-mails ... one? per each e-mail.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
SusanR
Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, January 11th (Saturday)

@BAB - a year out from our 3rd DDay. He agreed to seek SA counseling if I would get a legal separation instead of a divorce. Said he didn't need or want his own attorney. That was in late April, I think. He didn't get any counseling until I moved into our flip house in August. The house wasn't ready for inhabitants but I seriously couldn't live with him a moment longer. The separation agreement wasn't completed by my attorney until early December but he had seen preliminary drafts. He is now balking and saying he will fight it with an attorney of his own.

The house is now quite cute and would sell well. I have put a bunch of sweat equity into it and I fear the domestic courts will make me sell it if he fights the separation. However, that might help me put a nail in coffin of this relationship.

He has until Feb 1 to either accept or submit a rebuttal to the Separation Agreement or we will file a divorce action. My attorney said she is growing quite weary of his delay tactics.

I fully expect, true to form, he will not reply, my attorney will file for a divorce, and he will act offended and surprised when the papers are served. He has already told me that this is going to "get ugly".

I say, "Bring it! You can't possibly hurt me more than you already have."


Posts: 1931 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 6