SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Hello, new to NB
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Hello,

The broad strokes: STBX had an exit affair. She wanted out so we are done. I worked my ass off to get things separated. She got the house (I didn't want it), most of the stuff (I didn't want it) and paid me a modest settlement. I moved into an extended stay motel in November (four months after d day) and vowed to rest, relax and live in the moment until the new year. I still have tough moments from time to time, and I suspect I will for a while but honestly I am moving rapidly toward the indifference that I have read about here but never thought possible. I don't miss her. That is the truth.

What i am consumed with now is my future. And it scares the hell out of me. I have a wonderful opportunity to move to FL and be close to my friends who are the most wonderful, intelligent, funniest and generous people in the world. But I can't wrap my head around moving, a new job, a new place to stay, new friends, a new life. I have the opportunity to excel, to shape my life how I want to shape it but I'm so afraid of it all. I'm searching for the strength to walk away from this town and start over. I've come too far on this God forsaken journey to quit now. And I won't. One day I'll find the strength to walk away and start. I hope that day is soon.

Thanks for the support


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 749 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Welcome & glad you are here!!!

I saw those FL pics. Good friends are nothing to sneeze at! You''re going to take yourself with you wherever you go, but sometimes a new place can be good for making a new life when the rug has been yanked from underneath your feet. That''s sort of how I''ve done it & even though it can be lonely, I know I did the right thing. It''s really made me move forward & dampened my propensity to wallow.



"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3089 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

I say, do it! If I wasn't tied here due to kids, I would be off and running. I'd love to start over somewhere else and never see XH's stupid face again .


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
BrokenDaisy
Member
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Welcome!

I know how scary it is to drop everything and move far away. I moved more than 1400km's away for my new beginning. New city where I literally only knew 2 people! It was extremely scary but I am so very glad I did it.

I say take the opportunity for a clean slate and NB. Change is always scary especially huge changes like this but you can do it. Good luck!


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Finally Divorced!!

Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2012
PhoenixRising88
Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

I have a wonderful opportunity to move to FL and be close to my friends who are the most wonderful, intelligent, funniest and generous people in the world. But I can't wrap my head around moving, a new job, a new place to stay, new friends, a new life. I have the opportunity to excel, to shape my life how I want to shape it but I'm so afraid of it all.

You did not choose to unleash the catalyst of infidelity that wreaked havoc on your life; that choice was made for you; for us all.

But your first sentence quoted above says it all - You have a wonderful opportunity. The epitome of coming out of Hell stronger than ever rather than defeated. And a future that's awesome is waiting for you. You just have to let it unfold. First step's the hardest, but sunsets, you got this. 100%.

Take a deep breath and lead forward into your bright, bright future.


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

but I'm so afraid of it all.
Go deeper on this one, sunset. What is it, exactly, that's inspiring fear?

Really examine that. Not necessarily for posting here, but for pushing yourself to understand what's behind it.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25343 | Registered: Aug 2011
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

I know NIK. I'm working really hard on that question. IC on Mondays.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 749 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
MakingLemonade
Member
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Welcome, sunset. Can I just say, I'm a little jealous you have the option to walk away for a fresh start, a new beginning.

I, on the other hand, am facing OW moving here.

If you don't have kids to tie you down, go for it! I can imagine nothing more healing than walking away from the chaos by knocking off the cr*p thrust upon us and never looking back. I wish you only the best, whatever you decide.


Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
Topic Posts: 8