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User Topic: Triggery movies
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

I came across a movie on cable and to say it was triggery would be like saying the Hulk has some mild anger management issues. Thing is the movie was not high profile so checking out a movie you haven''''t heard of can be like trigger-minefield. These are a few lower profile movies to be careful of if you want to avoid triggery stories.

About Adam
28 Hotel Rooms
Closer
Incendiary
Before the Devil Knows You''''re Dead

Feel free to add to the list.

[This message edited by Brandon808 at 10:20 PM, January 11th, 2014 (Saturday)]


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

((((Brandon))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25292 | Registered: Aug 2011
heartbroken303
New Member
Member # 41572
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Yep there are those for me too.

Ever hear a song called "Redneck Crazy"? That one triggers me. Essentially I've gone redneck crazy in some ways and they make light of it.

Strangely right after D-Day for me a video was circulating the internet of a cheating wife getting beheaded by her husband. I didn't think that was funny either. But my WW really hated it.


Me (BS) 42
Her (WS) 41
DD #1 October 31, 2013 She admits to on-line emotional affair.
DD #2 November 27, 2013 She admits to sexual affair the previous weekend.
Married 17 years, together for 23 years-2DDs
OM - Married coward with children

Posts: 48 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Denver, CO
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

No, I''m not much of Country/Western fan. I looked it up and you''re not wrong about the song.
The two that come to my mind are "The Rain" by Oran "Juice" Jones and "I don''t ever wanna see you again" by Uncle Sam. Both came out in the 80s. R&B songs always seem to hit the bullseye on this stuff.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Match Point
Conversations with Other Women
Lost in Translation
The Other Woman
Hook
He's Just Not That Into You
Intersection
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
The Rum Diary
American Beauty
The Horse Whisperer
Heartburn
About Schmidt
The Middle Men
Beautiful Girls
Fatal Attraction (probably the best known)
Tekken
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Dreamland
How to Be a Player
Mona Lisa Smile
Braveheart
Forces of Nature
Love Actually
even a moment of it in The Dark Knight

[This message edited by silverhopes at 12:07 AM, January 12th (Sunday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Tekken??? Really? Wow.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
MylarPineapples
Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

Silverhopes, I watched "He's Just Not That Into You" on TV the other night. I actually hadn't seen it before, and I did find it very triggery. Pretty well ruined Bradley Cooper for me for awhile I think.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

In Tekken, could have sworn he had a girlfriend in the beginning and then was busy getting way too close to the other girl in the competition. But I could be wrong - I would be very happy if I'm wrong.

Yeah, "He's Just Not That Into You" was just one of many where Scarlett Johansson plays the other woman.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

The Notebook. Terrible movie...not sure why anyone would rate it highly.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Yeah, ScarJo was the OW in Match Point, Lost in Translation, The Other Boleyn Girl, and The Prestige.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
MairISaoirse
Member
Member # 41497
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

one of BFs favorite movies became a trigger, at least for me

Goon


Mad Hatter

Me: 21
Him: 21
Together 2 years
my ONS->1 mo EA abroad

after D-Day BF admitted he had broken NC with EXGF (EA)
D-DAY 11/21/13

In Limbo


Posts: 114 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Kentucky
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

The Notebook. Terrible movie...not sure why anyone would rate it highly.
Because it depicts tru luuuuuurrrrrrv


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

That's right, The Prestige! Just saw that recently on TV for the first time.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
MylarPineapples
Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

I love the way The Notebook portrays the elderly husband's devotion to his wife. But yeah, the parts where she runs off on her fiancé to try out her old relationship one more time suck.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Because it depicts tru luuuuuurrrrrrv

It doesn't though, it just depicts some slut cheating on her devoted partner!


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

I love the way The Notebook portrays the elderly OM devotion to a WW.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:38 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Because it depicts tru luuuuuurrrrrrv
It doesn''t though, it just depicts some slut cheating on her devoted partner!

Yes, that''s why I wrote ''luuuuuurrrrrrv'' instead of love

p.s. There have been a few threads about lurv vs love. Luuurrrrv being the infatuation, childish, immature, delusional fantasy the AP''s engage in and believe they''ve found the proverbial romantic fantasy come-to-life.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Long Gone
Member
Member # 32587
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Seren-fucking-depity

I loved that movie until I read texts about it going back and forth between the 2 shit birds

Now I want to piss on it


D-Day 11/26/10

Posts: 767 | Registered: Jun 2011
Stronger4it
Member
Member # 39372
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

A fish called Wanda!

Loved it for years. Did not think John Cleese (boring, toenail clipping barrister) was a cad for stepping out with Jamie lee Curtis (slutty criminal). But it is so close to reality.

Still funny. I just look at it more critically.


Me BS 46
Him WS 48
Together 18 yrs
Daughter 9
DD Nov 13/12
Today ?

Posts: 52 | Registered: May 2013
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

The Notebook definitely

And oddly, A Fish called Wafflehouse Wanda just made the list


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Many of my favorite movies.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (fffuuucckkkkk!!!)

When Harry Met Sally (the symptom is fucking my wife)

Sleepless in Seattle

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Love Actually

Addicted to Love

For the most part, I find action movies are the safest for me to watch.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9642 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Gawd, I could go a rant about the Notebook. Hated the movie and our Book Club had us read it. Yuck! Hated it even before I knew I was a BS.

One person in our Book Club insisted that you could get a person to come out of their Alzheimers haze if someone did what James Garner's character did, read their life story to them every day. That was the day we almost had fisticuffs in our Book Club.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9642 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

With a gun to my head, I might be able to come up with a romantic movie that doesn't include infidelity in one flavor or another, but without the gun? I'm drawing a blank.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25292 | Registered: Aug 2011
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

The one that was very triggery for me lately was the Decendents with George Clooney. It made me cry. It is all about infidelity and the husband finding out from his teenage daughter and the WW is in a brain dead coma. It was very triggery for me and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone JFO. It did however go through all the steps that a BS goes through once they find out. When my husband seen me crying he did give me a hug and tell me once again he was so sorry.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

I think The Descendants would have been difficult to watch in the first year or two after d-day, but by the time I watched it, I actually really liked it. It didn't show the A as being all romantic and wonderful, but portrayed it as the life and soul crusher it really is. I liked that it showed the affair partners as scummy for doing such a thing to their families. The A was never justified, except perhaps by the WW's parents, who didn't like their son-in-law.

I hate the ones that show the A's as being the answer to a troublesome spouse at home, and justifying them.

It's been 4.5 years since d-day for me, and while infidelity stands out like a sore thumb in movies (that I wouldn't have thought much about pre-d-day), I don't get yucky triggers anymore. Just an eyeroll, mostly, at how rife it is in everything.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2508 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

One person in our Book Club insisted that you could get a person to come out of their Alzheimers haze if someone did what James Garner's character did, read their life story to them every day. That was the day we almost had fisticuffs in our Book Club.


Where do these ideas come from?


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

Where do these ideas come from?

IDK...but I amazingly enough people can find new and inventive flavors of crazy all the time.


Another for the list...

Revolutionary Road


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
littlefoggy
Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

Juno.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2013
tara1110
Member
Member # 41202
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

A lot for me unfortunately because me and WS watched movies a lot (at home or out) But the number one trigger movie for me is TROY... Not only because of the infidelity part, but because it's my WS's fucking favorite movie!!!

One person in our Book Club insisted that you could get a person to come out of their Alzheimers haze if someone did what James Garner's character did, read their life story to them every day


[This message edited by tara1110 at 8:24 PM, January 12th (Sunday)]


Me BS:34
H WS: 28
OW: 33 (butter face... Thanks to sistermilkshake for the nickname)
Dday: July 24, 2013 (5 days after our 5th wedding anniversary)
7yrs together, married for 5 yrs
Status: divorcing

Posts: 86 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: North Carolina
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

Yes, that's why I wrote 'luuuuuurrrrrrv' instead of love
p.s. There have been a few threads about lurv vs love. Luuurrrrv being the infatuation, childish, immature, delusional fantasy the AP's engage in and believe they've found the proverbial romantic fantasy come-to-life.

Yeah, I know. Wasn't having a dig at you.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

The one that was very triggery for me lately was the Decendents with George Clooney. It made me cry. It is all about infidelity and the husband finding out from his teenage daughter and the WW is in a brain dead coma. It was very triggery for me and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone JFO. It did however go through all the steps that a BS goes through once they find out. When my husband seen me crying he did give me a hug and tell me once again he was so sorry.

OH YEAH...that was a tough one.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

Ahhhh...you had me going there for a second Jesu.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
FightingBack
Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, January 12th (Sunday)

can you believe it? The Descendants was the first movie we saw together after dday. it was our first "date night" other than many dinners where we talked. h thought it would be nice to do something fun together. he picked the movie. I had no clue what it was about. Neither did he obviously. What a fun night that was!


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 760 | Registered: Feb 2012
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:25 AM, January 13th (Monday)

And another one...

Irvine Welsh''s Ecstasy

This one stars Kristin Kreuk. I was a fan of the tv show Smallville so I thought I would check it out but first I looked up the synopsis which read as follows:

Frustrated with her boring middle class and loveless marriage, Heather Thompson (Kristin Kreuk) seeks a change in her life. At a club, she finds just that in happily partying Lloyd Buist (Adam Sinclair), a drug addict. Heather falls hard for Lloyd despite the fact that most of their time spent together is under the influence of illicit substances. As they experiment with this new lifestyle, they are faced with the question of whether they love their drugs, each other, or are just drugged into loving each other.

Dang...even the synopsis of some of these movies aren''t safe


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 1:45 AM, January 13th (Monday)

Oh yeah, The Freebie was triggery too. Especially because the two can't seem to agree where the line is.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
WearingTheHorns
Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, January 13th (Monday)

Yeah, The Decendents was kind of tough to get through. We started watching it together on a "date night at home". Once it started dealing with the A, WW decided it wasn't a movie she wanted to watch. Ever since dday if a movie we're watching starts dealing with infidelity she doesn't want to watch it. I don't think it's because it's triggery for her, but is for me and I don't think she wants to deal with me getting that way. I finished watching it a few days later, and a day or so after that she did. I finally asked her if she had watched the rest of it and she had. I thought it was really good, but when George Clooney confronted the AP I wanted him to change his mind and punch him in the throat.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony
2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 262 | Registered: Dec 2012
MindMonkey
Member
Member # 41679
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, January 13th (Monday)

I'm mixed on Descendents. I saw it before DDay.

We were living in Hawaii and planning on moving to the mainland last summer. I moved three months before my W and kids so they could finish the school year. This is when my W started her affair. She slept with the SOB three days before she moved.

My WW *was* the WW in the movie (except the coma). So that part is ugly.

But on the other hand, it was a mostly a story about the BH fixing himself and his family. No one can fix their WS, especially when they are in a coma. And I loved the scene where he confronted OM. Still wished he would have punched him in the throat.


BH, 35, CoD, Military...sober since 6/17/14
FWW, EA/PA (x2) different OM coworkers
Reconciling since 8/1/13
100% ready to file at next dealbreaker...don't test me.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: NoVA
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, January 13th (Monday)

Uh, Wearing? This...
I don''t think it''s because it''s triggery for her, but is for me and I don''t think she wants to deal with me getting that way.
...seems to be very NOT good.

Came across a cheesy 80''s movie on youtube...

A Night in Heaven

The movies is crap but there is a cool scene where the BH takes the OM out onto a lake, makes him strip down and leaves him out there in another little boat after making him fear for his life. They should have ended the movie right there because the shite ending totally erased that.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, January 13th (Monday)

Chaos Theory

I could write entirely too much about what is wrong with this movie.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
brokensoul75
New Member
Member # 41473
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, January 13th (Monday)

Another Bradley Cooper movie... Silver Linings Playbook. Saw it after DDay during a "date night at home" and it was not good, trigger-wise.



You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa


Posts: 25 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: New England
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, January 13th (Monday)

Silver Linings Playbook
Hell, the commercial about the movie was not good trigger-wise for me.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, January 13th (Monday)

Take This Waltz


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

Forgot to mention talhotblond Wrong in so many ways aside from infidelity, but I still spent the whole film wondering how his wife must have felt.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 5:36 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
heartbroken303
New Member
Member # 41572
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)

Another triggery show for me is "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette"

It's cold here now, so I run on a treadmill in our basement (boring) and watch TV. I didn't used to mind those two shows, but now they just plain piss me off. Sure these in-DUH-viduals put themselves in these situations, but they all fall for one insipid person who then whines like a baby that they have to get rid of somebody and they're so in love, etc. Then once that person is ditched, it's PARTY-ON while the rejected person rides away bawling.


Me (BS) 42
Her (WS) 41
DD #1 October 31, 2013 She admits to on-line emotional affair.
DD #2 November 27, 2013 She admits to sexual affair the previous weekend.
Married 17 years, together for 23 years-2DDs
OM - Married coward with children

Posts: 48 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Denver, CO
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, January 16th (Thursday)

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Mission Impossible
Presumed Innocent

...and those got added to the list just by scrolling through the channel guide just now!


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Watching The Matrix trilogy on TV right now - why didn't I remember the unfaithfulness in the second film?!! Haven't seen the third yet, but now vaguely remembering there was some in that one as well… Why?!


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Yeah, I forgot about that too.

HBO''s new mini-series True Detective was trigger-city tonight and promises many visits to trigger-city before its done.

As I previously said what bothers me is when cheating is treated so callously. The BS is blamed and expected to "just get over it". The A is treated as romantic.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

As I previously said what bothers me is when cheating is treated so callously. The BS is blamed and expected to "just get over it". The A is treated as romantic.

So true!


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
NWfleur
Member
Member # 35874
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, January 20th (Monday)

MAD MEN.

Hate that show.
My exwh is in advertising. Literally same job title as Don Draper. And that show NAILS IT in terms of the culture of that career. I remember he always wanted to watch it, probably some narcissistic fulfillment for him, little did I know how much of what I was watching was happening right under my own nose!

[This message edited by NWfleur at 12:42 AM, January 20th (Monday)]


Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)

Divorced!!!


Posts: 322 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA
absolut
Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, January 20th (Monday)

haven't gone through the whole thread but has someone already said

500 Days of Summer

especially bc people say I look like that girl.

Nothing about infidelity just being reckless with someone's heart is somehow whimsical.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:45 AM, January 20th (Monday)

So very many. XH works in film.

Came home from work a few weeks ago, flipped on t.v. & the movie that was on was the one he started w/OW. ARGHHHH. Mind you, we had props from that one in our house.

XH works on major movies, so ... so many make me want to puke.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 747 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
brokensoul75
New Member
Member # 41473
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, January 20th (Monday)

I had to shut off the TV the other night. I was watching one of the late shows and there was a comedian, who started off pretty funny, until he started cracking jokes about cheating and how it was ok to have a "good" one and a "fun" one.



You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa


Posts: 25 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: New England
Dyinghere
Member
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, January 20th (Monday)

I was watching The Incredibles and got all mad. He sneaks around and lies to his wife and does whatever the hell feels good regardless of the consequences for his family. He leaves his wife to deal with the kids while she is asking for his help just so he can feel like a superhero again. Selfish prick.




Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, January 20th (Monday)

Yes, but he did admit he was wrong...and he didn''t try to cope with issues by cheating. He coped with his issues by being a super-hero. Hey!!! Why didn''t I have that option when I had my ddays???


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
totalheartbreak
Member
Member # 41589
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, January 20th (Monday)

WW suggested we go see The Princess Bride as they were doing the classics on the silver screen series at the local cinema...

At first I was like, ROUS's on the big screen!?! Of course...

And then I realized... huh, a movie about a boy/man who travels the world and risks everything to chase a girl who doesn't even care he exists and then at the last possible moment realizes oops it was him all along and they live happily ever after even though he nearly is killed and horribly injured, etc.... all the while, it is literally a fairytale being told to some sick albeit optimistic young boy.

How 'bout no... You're damn right it's too triggery... it's my life, with a fairytale happy ending.

[This message edited by totalheartbreak at 8:07 PM, January 20th (Monday)]


Me: BH (30s)
Wayflost: WW (30s)
"Ever notice those that advocate anything for 'happiness' are perennially unhappy?"

Posts: 147 | Registered: Dec 2013
3yrwait
Member
Member # 29907
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, January 20th (Monday)

The Dilemma - I really should have read the synopsis before just assuming a Vince Vaugn/Kevin James movie would be funny.


Me: BH (early 40s)
Her: WW (early 40s)
Married 15 years
1 daughter, under 10
DDay July 2007

Posts: 469 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: 3yrwait
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Extract - Not sure how on earth they thought this was a comedy.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
womaninflux
Member
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

I can't believe no one listed Unfaithful (Diane Lane, Richard Gere). Unless I missed it somewhere earlier in thread.

Wow…that has got to be a pretty trigger movie…all of the love scenes and the scenes were she is on the train and flash backing to being with her lover. And when the husband finds out she's been lying about where she's been spending time. And them taking all of those chances (in the bathroom at the restaurant with her friends).


BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 892 | Registered: Jun 2013
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

@womaninflux,
Wow...you''re absolutely right. I thought Unfaithful had already been listed, but it wasn''t.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
NikkiD
Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

"The Rain" by Oran "Juice" Jones

YESS!! And that rant he goes into at the end!!! Classic!


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
NikkiD
Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Trigger shows are

Scandal and Being Mary Jane

I can stomach "the Haves and the Have Nots," simply because of the vile way the wife treats the AP's she knows about....


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Crazy Stupid Love. I enjoyed that movie and get that they reunite at the end, but it is not the same anymore. The Notebook is one I love, but haven't watched it since D-Day, so who knows for me anymore.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2013
prowoman
Member
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

American Hustle! UGH


me: BS 39 | stbxWH: 46
DD14, DS2
DDAY: Aug12... A continued "underground"
Separated Nov13 and Divorcing
OC Born May 14

Posts: 129 | Registered: Sep 2013
Lostinthismess
Member
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Turned on 'American horror story'. Little scary show, why not?? First 30 seconds wife walks in on husband screwing a student in their bed. Super fun. I was able to watch oddly enough. It was real. It wasn't glorified fantasy lurv... Shouldn't have watched it though, hubby almost came unglued and we haven't watch any more episodes.


Dday- 4/4/13
fwh- harrypotter
'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 330 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Ca
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Unfaithful: Stories of Infidelity

I know, that seems ultra-obvious but it goes a little deeper. It''s the way the present it. Most of the stories are of couples who stayed together (or remarried). What disgusted me was when the the MC would talk about the BS role in the A. It got a little blameshifty at times.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Crazy Stupid Love. I enjoyed that movie and get that they reunite at the end, but it is not the same anymore.
I hated how the BH was supposed to "win back" the WW and the BH''s friend tells him he is the reason his wife strayed.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Kyrie
Member
Member # 41825
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Started watching House of Cards and by the 2nd or 3rd episode, had to stop. Made me feel sick.


Me: BW (47), WH (48)
Married 24 yrs, 2 teenagers
DD#1 01.20.12 When diagnosed w/STD
Told it was 15 mo. PA that ended 6 years ago
DD#2 04.06.14 Truth: PA was 2yrs/8mo
Separated for 6 weeks
Reconciling and healing now

Posts: 192 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: southeast USA
Jduff
Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is very triggery in the beginning. This is one my favorite comedies (before dday) and has become therapeutic after my dday because it makes me laugh. I had actually forgotten about this movie after my dday until I caught it on cable. It kicked started me out of my own BS fog.

I love the part where the Sarah character flashbacks to moments in their relationship when her ex, Peter, had put up with all her demands and she realizes he did so out of his love for her, and when Peter flashbacks to those similar moments and sees how she basically took him for granted. I laughed so hard when Sarah and Peter tried make-up sex and he couldn't "get it up", and she asks what's wrong with him, and then he responds - "...maybe the problem is that you broke my heart into a million pieces, and so my cock doesn't want want to be around you anymore! Ok? EVER!"

Look up "Forgetting Sarah Marshall scene "You're the goddamn devil!" on youtube to watch the scene.


Divorced - 5/23/14
Already in my New Beginning - :)

Posts: 484 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

I am actually watching "The Descendants" as we speak. For BS, I think it''s a great movie... If you''re far enough past DDAY.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.
**Guts over fear.**

Posts: 2070 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
champ
Member
Member # 8559
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Clint Eastwood is my favorite actor but I refuse to watch Bridges of Madison County

Posts: 108 | Registered: Oct 2005
NikkiD
Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

"I think I love my Wife..."


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
PippaPeach6
Member
Member # 37523
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Someone to Watch Over Me with Tom Berenger and Mimi Rogers.

And I have never and will never watch "Bridges"


Us: 50ish, madhatters, married 20 odd yrs
TT: May 2009 'til June
DDay for both: June 17, 2009
Me: 2x, same person, 1991
Him: 1.5 year PA (EA?) 2007-2009
Reconciled

Honey Badger don't care. - Randall


Posts: 386 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Flyover chic
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Unforgettable (1996)


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Just a heads up.

Labor Day

From what I read earlier today, it has 2 A related parts.


Posts: 35132 | Registered: Mar 2011
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

I read "The Great Gatsby" in high school but didn't remember much about it except that it was in the 20s or 30s or whatever... Went to see the new Leo DiCaprio version not long after dday.

OMG!! The entire movie is about infidelity, plus it has a very depressing ending. Really wished I had remembered the plot; I would not have gone!! Beautifully shot and costumed film, and Leo is great, but HUGE mistake to see it when I did.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 814 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Kyrie
Member
Member # 41825
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

Saw The Wolf of Wall Street and was in a low funk for several days afterwards. It's not so much the confrontation scene with his wife over his A, which was hard to watch, but it's excessive in every way. People living with no morals, no scruples and no real consequences. I'm having enough trouble getting my mind around how separated my fWH got from his integrity - how dishonest and self serving he was. Seeing DiCaprio doing it on the big screen for 3 hours was more than I could take. Yuck.


Me: BW (47), WH (48)
Married 24 yrs, 2 teenagers
DD#1 01.20.12 When diagnosed w/STD
Told it was 15 mo. PA that ended 6 years ago
DD#2 04.06.14 Truth: PA was 2yrs/8mo
Separated for 6 weeks
Reconciling and healing now

Posts: 192 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: southeast USA
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

Another one!

The Signal

The freakin'' movie starts with a WW leaving the OM''s bed, who tries gives her a mix CD and tries to talk her into leaving her BH.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 3:48 AM, February 11th (Tuesday)

IIRC, "Schindler's List". In addition to the other truly heartbreaking things in the film.

"I will stay with you only if you promise, no one will ever mistake anyone but me for Mrs. Oskar Schindler."

Also, another TV show: was watching "Justice League" and "Justice League Unlimited". Seems like there wouldn't be as much infidelity in cartoons, right? Wrong. After what happened with "Batman Beyond", you'd think I would have learned.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 3:59 AM, February 11th (Tuesday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
BAMAC
Member
Member # 39334
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)

Don't watch The Campaign.


DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

Posts: 83 | Registered: May 2013 | From: TX
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)

Can't remember if someone here wrote about "Rid of Me"? There's another one. Though the BS winds up much happier in the end, through her transformation process, and the WS and OP just look… lifeless. It was a very interesting contrast.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)

One of the first movies I remember watching after D-Day was The Kids Are All Right.

Sometimes you just rent something without knowing anything about it, and it doesn't work out....

Generally I can separate my feelings about myself from my enjoyment of a good movie. I enjoyed Kids even while triggering, and I enjoy good dramas, even when infidelity is important to the plot. I hate that the BS is usually portrayed as some sort of fantasy, but I can handle that.

My W triggers badly on everything, though.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10063 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
WIgirl
New Member
Member # 40533
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)

UGH...Just saw American Hustle...and on date night! UGH, UGH, UGH. There should be a freaking affair safe rating on movies.

And one of the previews was for a new movie with Cameron Diaz called The OTHER WOMAN! About a wife who befriends the mistress! Seriously.


Me: 38 yo BW
Him: 40 yo WH
2 daughters (8, 5); married 15 yrs
DD: 6/2/13 (5 mo EA/PA with coworker)
Separated/Divorcing

Posts: 49 | Registered: Sep 2013
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, February 16th (Sunday)

An Unmarried Woman
She Devil
The First Wives Club
Thelma & Louise - the horrible part was, because of the way the husband was acting, I thought it would be revealed he was cheating - and then she was the one who went and cheated on him! And then the OM taunted him.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 4:47 PM, February 16th (Sunday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, February 16th (Sunday)

Supernova
The Dentist (thought I''d be watching a cheesy, turn-your-brain-off slasher flick...nope, the stinking movie practically begins with it)
The Prestige


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, February 16th (Sunday)


Frequent Flyer is a movie about infidelity, but a good one. It may be hard for some to watch, but it does not glorify cheating. Just the opposite, in fact, and the end is very good, too.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, February 16th (Sunday)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
BAMAC
Member
Member # 39334
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, February 16th (Sunday)

That Awkward Moment.


DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

Posts: 83 | Registered: May 2013 | From: TX
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, February 16th (Sunday)

You know what's weird? I didn't even think about it while watching American Hustle. I mean, it's stated right at the outset that he's married and the Amy Adams character is 'his girlfriend', but for some reason that fact just went in one ear and out the other.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.
**Guts over fear.**

Posts: 2070 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, February 16th (Sunday)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Gosh so many others… Thought of one earlier that's so common and forgot to write it here. Too many.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 4:11 AM, February 17th (Monday)

im one of those "tough guys" that actually loves "chick flicks". the more romantic and loving the better.

i thought bridges of madison county a good, sad film years ago when i saw it. i wouldnt watch it now if someone paid me too.

i used to love bridget jones diary. i saw her as a sort of "every woman". i watched it with my WW a week or so ago. i was okay with it up until her mom left her father to go with the guy on tv and it really, but really pissed me off when she came back and the father was like "oh, its so great to have you back and now i can take you out to dinner and dancing so you know how much i love you without any long term consequences to our marriage because you left me to go sleep with that guy for months and months."


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 543 | Registered: Jan 2014
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, February 17th (Monday)

The Big Chill


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, March 4th (Tuesday)

Up In The AIr


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
hurtingfool
Member
Member # 42196
Default  Posted: 4:13 AM, March 5th (Wednesday)

Went to pop in The Rocky Horror Picture Show after DDay. Was one of my favorites. As soon as I put it in the tray all I thought was "Dammit Janet".


WW suggested we go see The Princess Bride as they were doing the classics on the silver screen series at the local cinema...

At first I was like, ROUS's on the big screen!?! Of course...

and yet another movie......at least WW is realizing how many triggers I have now...sigh......


Me: BS 31
Her: WS 29
10 years of marriage
12 years together
3 kids
DDay:January 16, 2014

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NW US
augustmarie
New Member
Member # 42692
Default  Posted: 3:06 AM, March 9th (Sunday)

True Detective.

I was watching that with my husband right after I found out. He doesn't know I know yet. It's sort of bittersweet to watch true detective with him while one of the main character's is banging a chick and cheating on his wife. Interesting to jab at it and make comments about it to my husband..


Posts: 27 | Registered: Mar 2014
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, March 24th (Monday)

Anyone else have trouble going out to see new things, be it movies or TV shows or plays, without reading spoilers first to make sure there's nothing triggery about them? Ruins a great many surprises, doesn't it?


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
purplejacket4
Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, March 24th (Monday)

American Hustle didn't bother me particularly. At least the husband was honest and begging for a divorce. Evidently before he ever cheated. What bothered me was the awful cheesy clothes and 70s music. Ugh.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2180 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, March 24th (Monday)

This is really stupid but I had a hard time with Muppets Most Wanted.

Kermit gets thrown in a Russian gulag and nobody except Animal notices anything for months. The evil frog just gives everyone what they want while he uses them to rob shit. When one of them finally asks if Kermit is acting weird they all just say nah and go along with their muppet bullshit.

Miss Piggy doesn't even notice the difference until they're getting married and she realizes it was all too easy. Obviously she wasn't intentionally cheating on anybody but it felt like a fucking social commentary. Then at the end there's the rescue and big speech about how they'll never take him for granted again, etc, but, fucking A. It's the muppets, it's not supposed to be triggery, it's supposed to be fucking stupid.

Sorry, back to grownup shit.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7444 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
DTERMINED2SURVIV
Member
Member # 42294
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, March 24th (Monday)

The wierd thing in my situation is that I can tolerate watching things about infidelity, though it does get me a little worked up...even cheaters the show.

But my FWS LOVES WATCHING THEM AND GETTING PISSED! HE gets mad at the cheater!!! Sheesh, makes no sense!




Posts: 270 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, March 24th (Monday)

I even find this thread triggery!

Let's see...The Ice Storm. And it's a tv show, but Mad Men is forever off limits to me now.

I used to love movies and often watched multiple a week. Especially foreign and independent ones. Ever since this all started I don't enjoy them at all or want to go see them even. It's strange and sad. I hope it comes back. That was a pretty consistent part of my life.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4151 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
UKgirl
Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, March 25th (Tuesday)

Sliding Doors

I bought this film as a Christmas Movie during the time WH was f*cking MOW. He sat and watched it with us all – the whole family. I don’t think I’ve ever got over that – how could he sit there and appear to enjoy this film when so much of it paralleled our life?

Gerry – Looks like fWH, also a writer and arrogant and weak and STUPID.
Helen – A bit like me, slim, fair, non-descript, quiet, supportive, faithful, NOT stupid.
Lydia – ex-gf, persistent, sexy, unpredictable, threatening, jealous, drives black Audi TT convertible (aarrghgggh!). Bitchface.

Best line for me: “You wanker. You sad, sad wanker.”


Also, Regarding Henry
Shattered (UK – Butterfly on a Wheel)
Intimacy


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3451 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
OutoftheDeep
Member
Member # 42601
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, March 25th (Tuesday)

Do NOT, I repeat - DO NOT watch Kevin Hart in Madison Square Garden.

It's at least 20% of jokes about how he just got divorced because his wife caught him cheating. He fully admits it and jokes about it. It is disgusting. Also a lot of jokes about having his friends cover for him and lie to his wife.

I find lately I preview movies sometimes before he and I watch them together.

For me, it's also anything that has a scene with a strip club or strippers. Even 2 seconds, boom, I'm triggered bad. I think I trigger on that even worse that movies featuring infidelity.

So can we start adding strip club scenes to this list??

I want to say I saw the opposite of a trigger in a movie not to long ago. Well it's kind of a trigger because it does mention infidelity, but it was The Big White with Robin Williams. His wife is struggling with mental illness and he is getting worn out being her caretaker. A buddy of his tells him he deserves to have an affair and tries to cajole him into it. Robin, until then sort of weak mannered, squares off and looks this guy straight in the eye and tells him never to say that to him again, adding that he loves his wife and he would NEVER hurt her. The guy backs down like the weasel he is.
I loved that scene.


Me - maybe BW 40s
He - maybe WH 40s
My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first M had lta.
Current marriage:
2/'13 out all night with an ow
2/'13 busted at strip club
4/'14-? bad boundaries w/howorker

Posts: 369 | Registered: Feb 2014
Offhispedestal
Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, March 25th (Tuesday)

Haven't read all the replies but a few months ago our daughter wanted us to watch

(The Great Gatsby )

with her because it was such a great movie. Not knowing we watched it. I cringed through it, feel guilty admitting that I laughed when the mistress was killed. And double bonus points that she happened to be a redhead. What I ended up thinking was this was a movie about karma. Because the mistress was killed, Daisy lived with the guilt of knowing she actually killed her, daisy's husband would spend the rest of his life miserable because his mistress was killed and knowing his wife didn't love him. Gatsby was killed in the end. And daisy also was left mourning the death of her lover Gatsby.

The notebook used to be my favorite love story. I just didn't see how screwed up it was. The show Scandal.

Let's face it just about EVERY movie has some sort of infidelity in it!

[This message edited by Offhispedestal at 11:08 PM, March 25th (Tuesday)]


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 634 | Registered: Jun 2011
hikingwithkoda
Member
Member # 41891
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, March 26th (Wednesday)

A lot of these you have to know are triggery going in, (and, frankly, a lot have to do with excessively sensitive BS's!)

I think it's more important to share movies that no one would ever expect to be triggery. I just finally caught up with Clerks 2 -- the whole premise of the movie is the cliched "about to marry the wrong woman when his twue wuv is right there in front of him". Blecch. Although, it is interesting that the director cast his own wife as the "wrong woman"...


Me: BH, 50
Her: WW, 50
D-Day 12/27/2013 3-month PA with family friend

But also:
Me: WH, 50
Her: BW, 50
D-day: 12/27/2013 (about A that happened 14-15 years ago w/coworker)


Posts: 69 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, March 26th (Wednesday)

The last 2 seasons of Weeds.

Such a shame. I have loved that show from the beginning. After dday, it was a bit triggery, but I was ok.

Then the story line with the cop getting a BJ..by another man... in a car, behind a building.

No more Weeds.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7399 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Anyone else get triggered by X-Men 3: The Last Stand? Iceman, who is in a relationship with Rogue, having a "close friendship" (to quote Wikipedia) with Kitty Pryde? I heard there was a deleted scene where Iceman and Kitty Pryde kissed, but even the ice skating scene was triggery enough. Wikipedia makes it worse by calling it a "close friendship" instead of cheating.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)

Hate to have to come back to this thread, but I'm triggering right now. A friend recently recommended I watch "Before Sunrise" and the two movies afterward. I'm 17 minutes into this film and it's already triggering me even though there isn't even any infidelity yet! Ethan Hawke's character says something about wondering, 10 or 20 years later while married, if a person should have chosen one of those other people in their pasts, and that he himself could be one of those people she wondered about later, so why don't they go on an adventure together… Immediate trigger. The thing about a person looking at their partner and getting bored and thinking about past prospects… Just ugh.

I paused the film to read a summary (yeah, had to do spoilers), and the summary for the first sequel "Before Sunset" does involve the two people in this film cheating on their significant others in the next film (in one case breaking up a family), and that's just the tip of the iceberg on triggers. I cannot believe that within 17 minutes I knew it. Do we always have this sense forever when stuff like this is going to happen?

Finished reading a comic miniseries the other day too. Yep, infidelity in that one as well. Nightwing's dating Oracle again but making out with Huntress, including giving her the first New Year's kiss (and that's not even getting into my triggers with Sarah Essen and Gordon). WTF?


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)

Sorry that triggered you.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3791 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)

Don't worry Brandon, I find triggers help sometimes in a way because it brings stuff to the surface and makes it easier to examine why it's upsetting, instead of things staying buried. When it's in a movie, somehow it's clearer to put into words… Don't know if that makes sense, but…


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 5:32 AM, May 1st (Thursday)

"Aladdin" - first movie seen with ExH

"Vantage Point" - last movie seen with ExH
This one is particularly triggery because when we saw it, he KNEW he was banging the broad and saw this just to humor me.

Most of the movies he liked I never wanted to watch in the first place so when the titles come up that are triggery I wouldn't want to watch them anyway.

"Romeo Must Die"
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"Southpark" series
"The Simpsons"


Most of the superhero movies he DID ruin for me simply because he liked them

I absolutely HATE "Breakfast At Tiffanys" even long before I married my own "super rat." I know Audrey was wonderful and her costumes and look are iconic....but WTF is so damn GOOD about that film? Every character in it is damaged goods!



Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, May 1st (Thursday)

"50 First Dates" was "our" movie. I was sitting in my hotel room, pining away for her and watching that movie, wondering why she wasn't hadn't answered my call or texted me back. She was on her first date (which ended up being a sleepover!) with her new dad.

I used to really like that one but I don't think I'll be able to watch it again.


Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, May 12th (Monday)

Unexpectedly triggering from Lord of the Rings. Even though it seems like Aragorn rejects Eowyn, it appears so much like he led her on, especially in the extended edition where he restokes her fire and tucks her in when she's sleeping. Since he's still wearing Arwen's necklace, it just reminds me of a married guy (with a promise necklace instead of a wedding ring) giving attention to or having an EA with another girl. I spent most of the both movies wishing he would just give her his "you love a shadow" speech a LOT sooner. While I sort of get that, based on his facial expressions, he wasn't smitten with her or anything, but if his fear was that his rejection of her would cause her to become suicidal - then why did he keep initiating with her? Why didn't he nip it in the bud instead of letting it continue!? Urgh. Even more painful because Arwen is torn apart with grief over him, sending him psychic projections to keep him going… Literally dying from missing him, and meanwhile he's spending time with another girl! Makes me even madder when I see her kiss him at the end, can't help but feel like he almost doesn't deserve her, at least since she doesn't know about his days spent with Eowyn.

Aside from that one thing, I love the films, so it sucks to have it interfere. I keep reminding myself that if H ever chooses another girl, I'm determined to be happy for him next time instead of letting anger ruin me. I try to see the situation in the movie as similar to make it a little more bearable, with Aragorn as my H, and Eowyn as the main OW (who even looks and talks like her! The main OW was blonde, spoke in a prim way, and had a soft pretty name - she's way prettier and more feminine than I am, and I wish H would just admit it already that he found her a better catch than me).

Sorry. Not sure if anyone else triggers from it? Hope not.

ETA: When Aragorn goes to find King Theoden and finds him chatting with Elrond (his future father-in-law!), the flat way Theoden says "I take my leave" and the dirty look he gives Aragorn on the way out makes me feel like Aragorn did some serious leading Eowyn on… And I seriously wonder if more did not happen between them. Why else would her uncle be so pissed with him?

[This message edited by silverhopes at 1:42 PM, May 12th (Monday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, May 12th (Monday)

Crazy, stupid love.
I used to like it, but now can't stand it. It makes infidelity try to look funny, which it's not as we all know.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2013
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, May 12th (Monday)

I never followed the private lives of celebrities. That may explain why I can take Spencer Tracy-Audrey Hepburn movies, but ever since I learned about their A, I've always watched with some sort of wall up.

I used to love The Philadelphia Story, but now I think it's highly obnoxious.

If my fiancée went off with another man a few hours before our wedding, as Hep did with Jimmy Stewart, I'd like to think I'd at least delay the wedding. Instead, the author has his characters, and the audience, blame the fiancé for being too puritanical.

And the author and characters lead the audience to have contempt for the fiancé because he grew up poor and never learned how to ride a horse or behave in high society.

As a movie or play, it seems like a lot of fun, but it supports detestable values.

JMO, of course.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10063 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, May 12th (Monday)

I've been white knuckling my way through TV shows. House of Cards had to go... And House... We are still watching it... But the constant situations with hookers is a bit...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 114