User Topic: Starting to lose my anger
Member # 41705
Wink  Posted: 6:43 PM, January 13th (Monday)

After much reading and soul searching, I am starting to understand why I have been so angry at my WS. I am feeling pain in response to his betrayal. Anger is a responsive feeling to my pain. I am in pain because of his betrayal. His betrayal has caused the loss of my future dream. And the future is only a dream. It's not written down anywhere, and it exists as a hope. His future hope is not the same as mine. He wants to make his life with someone else, and I'm not in that picture. I have grieved the loss of something that I never owned. If I don't try to hang on to my dream future, then I've lost nothing. By letting go of that, I'm willing to accept my true future. I have let go of my grief, and I feel so much relieved. I know that I can build a wonderful future just for myself. After all, I helped build our wonderful past, and our fabulous children.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, January 13th (Monday)

Good for you! Reclaim YOUR future, your dreams. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, January 13th (Monday)

There is so much power to be gained in letting go of what we don't control. Well done, Smashed!

You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams

Posts: 25530 | Registered: Aug 2011
New Member
Member # 41557
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, January 13th (Monday)

Kudos to that. I'm bookmarking this thread. I think I may be needing it for the next few years.

I broke her heart and spirit in Jan, 2010.
She broke my heart in Nov 2013.
DD - 16
DS - 14
DD - 12
DS - 8
Wanting to R but doubtful it will work

Posts: 43 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Western USA
Member # 41705
Happy  Posted: 7:35 AM, January 14th (Tuesday)

I keep thinking of that song "I can see clearly, now" sung by Johnny Nash. Since I decided to let go of my anger, after understanding why I was feeling it, and how it was making me ill. I slept over 8 hours last night. I'm wishing you all a good night's sleep, too. It can do wonders.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

This is great. I can't wait to get there myself. Had a dream this a.m. that woke me up and I was so angry.

Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 6