User Topic: Starting to lose my anger
Member # 41705
Wink  Posted: 6:43 PM, January 13th (Monday)

After much reading and soul searching, I am starting to understand why I have been so angry at my WS. I am feeling pain in response to his betrayal. Anger is a responsive feeling to my pain. I am in pain because of his betrayal. His betrayal has caused the loss of my future dream. And the future is only a dream. It's not written down anywhere, and it exists as a hope. His future hope is not the same as mine. He wants to make his life with someone else, and I'm not in that picture. I have grieved the loss of something that I never owned. If I don't try to hang on to my dream future, then I've lost nothing. By letting go of that, I'm willing to accept my true future. I have let go of my grief, and I feel so much relieved. I know that I can build a wonderful future just for myself. After all, I helped build our wonderful past, and our fabulous children.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, January 13th (Monday)

Good for you! Reclaim YOUR future, your dreams. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, January 13th (Monday)

There is so much power to be gained in letting go of what we don't control. Well done, Smashed!

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
New Member
Member # 41557
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, January 13th (Monday)

Kudos to that. I'm bookmarking this thread. I think I may be needing it for the next few years.

I broke her heart and spirit in Jan, 2010.
She broke my heart in Nov 2013.
DD - 16
DS - 14
DD - 12
DS - 8
Wanting to R but doubtful it will work

Posts: 43 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Western USA
Member # 41705
Happy  Posted: 7:35 AM, January 14th (Tuesday)

I keep thinking of that song "I can see clearly, now" sung by Johnny Nash. Since I decided to let go of my anger, after understanding why I was feeling it, and how it was making me ill. I slept over 8 hours last night. I'm wishing you all a good night's sleep, too. It can do wonders.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

This is great. I can't wait to get there myself. Had a dream this a.m. that woke me up and I was so angry.

Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 6