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User Topic: T/J on stubborn bitch thread
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

I briefly considered posting this in Recon but decided I hadn't had a good vent lately, so here we are.

Reading SMS's thread in Recon empowered me and reminded me of some of those really bad early days in 2011. This thread is for us BS's who had already survived a pile of shit prior to day. And looked the OW in the eye (literally or figuratively) and said, "Bitch, is that all you got?"

Here's my vent:

WHOREIBLE,
You told me once that I was an abusive Bitch who deserved what had happened to me. Whatever. All you know about me is the lies my H told you when he was trying to get in your pants, and whatever your 9th grade education allowed you to glean from my face book and other public information. (Oh, by the way, in case you missed spelling class that day, "glean" means to find or harvest something that is hidden or was missed on the first pass)

So let me tell you who I am and why you will NEVER destroy me.

I grew up with a mentally ill mother who went from suicidal depression to euphoria and back in less time than it took to change her clothes. I was sexually abused by her brother, who she allowed to live with us rent-free in exchange for "babysitting." When I was 7 years old, I can remember him pulling me out from under my bed where I was hiding, and my mother yelling at me for waking her up by screaming.

That did not destroy me.

I was a child prodigy, reading before I was 4 years old and hyperactive as hell. I was studied by psychologists, barely tolerated by teachers who didn't understand me, and tormented by classmates.

That did not destroy me.

I was raped when I was 19 and a virgin. I got pregnant from that encounter and gave birth to a baby girl who I gave up for adoption 2 days later. The man who raped me was a soldier, a friend of my brother's. When I told him I was pregnant, he told his commander that I had screwed multiple guys that night and the father could have been anyone. The commander wrote to my parents that the gang bang story was much more believable than a 19 year old virgin and declined to get involved. There is a monstrous, gaping hole in my heart where my daughter should be.

But it did not destroy me.

I drank and drugged myself into oblivion off and on for the next 21 years. I used amounts of narcotics that should have killed me. I was arrested, lost my nursing license, did things that cause me unimaginable shame.

But that did not destroy me.

My 1st husband cheated on me. And gave his whore the ammunition to use against me when she said to me, "You act like you're such a good mother. What about your other kid, the one you gave away so you could stay in college?"

It did not destroy me.

I was left alone with a toddler and a mountain of debt. XWH sent $70 once. ONCE.

It did not destroy me.

I climbed out of debt by myself. Raised my son alone until I met JM. I went from being unemployable as a nurse to winning a national award for excellence. I wrote a professional book that has made me over $50,000 since it was published. I got sober in 2008. I am a worship leader and vocalist and have had the privilege of sharing my story many times. And every single time, someone has come to me and thanked me for giving them hope.

I may get bent but I have never broken. I may get knocked down but I have gotten up every time.

So excuse me, you pathetic bint, for not crumbling apart after your sad little attempt to destroy my life. You want a piece of me, you better pack a lunch.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2776 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

What an amazing woman you are. You made me cry, and that doesn't happen often. You also filled me with hope. You've overcome what would have put most to the ground. If you can do it, I need to stop whining and get my ass in gear. Thank you for sharing.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5125 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
wifehad5
Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

(((HFSSC)))


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37365 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

You are one amazing woman, HFSSC. Although our stories are different, I feel we are made of the same material.

Thanks for sharing your story for all those that don't know it. (I did, but don't get tired of reading of your amazing ability to overcome some gigantic obstacles.)

(((HFSSC)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
njgal480
Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

Thanks so much for sharing this.
You are an amazing woman.
You have endured so much and yet you have not only survived but thrived!


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3163 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
headdesk
Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)

Oh, I love this thread. I was having a tough few days and this tossed a smile on my face.

I've survived:

- A neglectful, mentally ill mother
- An abusive stepmother who had an A with my dad and then married him (they raised me from 10 up)
- Being bullied heavily from grade 2-10 to the point where I was suicidal
- Being in an abusive relationship in my late teens (plus raped multiple times by him)
- Developing illnesses like I'm going out for the gold metal for amount of things that can go wrong with the human body
- WH's years of alcoholism and his recovery from that.

So yeah. This sucks and was a big wake up call for things that I've refused to change (standing up for myself more etc). It is so not going to break me.

This did help me realize that I'm still giving more headspace/power to the OW than she has though. So thank you SO MUCH for that. Fuck her, like she can hold a candle to this.


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
boontje
Member
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

All I can say is YOU GO GIRL!! You rock.



Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
― Ernest Hemingway



Posts: 950 | Registered: Aug 2011
jackie89
Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

Wow, just Wow!
You are an amazing woman!

What an inspirational story of strength and perseverance!


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 504 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

You freakin' ROCK.
Pack a lunch indeed...the beotch better pack a bomb shelter and bring reinforcements!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6520 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Rainbows
Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

Reading this made me misty.

You are such an inspiration and a badass!

Thank you.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

Thanks, y'all.

Every one of us has a story. Maybe yours isn't as "dramatic" as mine. I'd love it if no one else ever had to go through as much pain as I have in my lifetime. One reason I wrote this was to challenge each of you to look at what you have overcome in your life so far and determine that this won't break you.

Pack a lunch indeed...the beotch better pack a bomb shelter and bring reinforcements!
This made me

And headdesk,

This did help me realize that I'm still giving more headspace/power to the OW than she has though. So thank you SO MUCH for that. Fuck her, like she can hold a candle to this.

That's it! That's the whole point.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2776 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
madsadalone
Member
Member # 39201
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

I too, have been bent, but not broken.

I will gladly join the SBC!(stubborn bitch club)

I have found my voice, watch out world!


Me: BS 47
Him:WH 55
M: 27 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22

Posts: 82 | Registered: May 2013
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

You want a piece of me, you better pack a lunch.
Gawd HFSSC, you are killing me! "Pack a lunch" is now my new favorite catch phrase. I'm stealing that!

And I would like to add a little something here. In addition to HFSSC's strength and ability to overcome adversity, there's more... And IMO, this is the cherry on top: if you were to meet HFSSC IRL, you would never know she had been thru so much. She is not bitter. She is the epitome of the sweet, gracious, beautiful, kind, Southern woman.
((((HFSSC))))


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

Awwww, PPGA, that is SO sweet. Thank you.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2776 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

You're welcome.😊


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
bionicgal
Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

SO much strength on this board. Thanks for posting, HFSSC.


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 2055 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

That's powerful stuff, HFSSC.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 762 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Topic Posts: 17