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User Topic: IC
Sparkle0504
Member
Member # 40379
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

My IC starts this morning.

Trouble is, I don't even know where to start. Usually have my head screwed on and held high, but I have a feeling it's going to be a washout:(

On the bright side, I'm getting a blood test this morning - being jabbed with a needle will be far more enjoyable


Me 44 (BS)
Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
Children - two, mine from my previous marriage
Final straw 6/6/14

The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies


Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
Lowlow
Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 2:45 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

Your IC will help you with the starting point.

Good luck with all your appointments today.


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (LTA EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 213 | Registered: Mar 2013
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 2:55 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

I hated IC. Did me no good really. Waste if time and money.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Sparkle0504
Member
Member # 40379
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

I think it will be good for me.

It was like sitting with a real life SI forum wrapped into one


Me 44 (BS)
Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
Children - two, mine from my previous marriage
Final straw 6/6/14

The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies


Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
LostSamurai
Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 6:12 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

My IC has been really helpful. Probably one of my best investments I ever made.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Sparkle0504
Member
Member # 40379
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

We're quite lucky here - we get 6 sessions free on the NHS (although I have a feeling more than 6 will be needed!). The IC and I hit it off, she clearly has experience/expertise with addiction and it was really reassuring.

I had counselling a couple of years ago and it was extremely limited because at the time I had been led to believe that he'd only acted out the one time and the issues were, I thought, about me feeling in adequate, unloved, blah blah blah. Two years on, several OW on and a LOT of research on my part, it's a very different situation. Whilst my self esteem is pretty much back intact, I know I am grieving Big Time.

'Grief'. That's not a word you actually see/hear on SI much - but actually, it's pretty accurate


Me 44 (BS)
Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
Children - two, mine from my previous marriage
Final straw 6/6/14

The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies


Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
brokendancer7
Member
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)

My first three sessions of IC were an assessment of who and where I am in life right now. The therapist asked questions, and I answered, and answered, and answered. Felt a little psychologically naked by the time it was all over. I am getting a lot out of it, so far. I need to understand lifelong patterns and why I am still in this marriage. How can I have put up with this? What I learn is going to allow me to either move on as a stronger person, or (somehow) absorb what has happened and make a decision to stay in the marriage.


Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA


Posts: 188 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 7