User Topic: Has the whole marriage been a sham???
New Member
Member # 42008
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, January 16th (Thursday)

Can't help but wonder if the entire 6 years of marriage hasn't been a complete sham. 1 EA and 1 EA/PA in six years with different dudes. Who's to say there hasn't been 10 others that never came to light when your dealing with somebody with the gift of deceit and pure self-interest? Struggling bad with R this second go around.

ME - 44
WW - 31
DDAY#1 - 11/15/10 - EA
DDAY#2 - 5/11/13 - PA

Suffering builds perseverance, perseverance character and character hope.

Posts: 37 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Member # 36888
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, January 17th (Friday)

I'm sorry that I don't have a good answer for you, but I wanted you to know you had been heard.

I am in a similar situation, my wife had her EA within weeks of us getting married, possibly a second (she has never clarified the timeline on that first contact with the second guy). She definitely had an EA with the second guy within 9 months of us getting married. So two (maybe three) EAs in the first year alone. We were seperated before our second anniversary, my choice I moved out, because the work just wasn't getting done to heal.

It still rankles me a bit when my wife talks about saving our marriage and working through it. I thought we had a good marriage, I was working towards being a good husband, I thought everything was going good for us. She had never committed to fixing the marriage until I moved out.

I still think that the whole marriage has been a sham, now I just get to decide if I see any hope of building an actual marriage into the future.


Posts: 214 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 40232
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, January 17th (Friday)

I am going on 19 years of a marriage that I think has been a sham from the beginning. Seems like I finally woke up the last 5 to come to this realization.

Me BS-50ish
WH (not according to him)- 50ish
M - 18 yrs together 21
No kids together- DD and DS from my 1st marriage
5 Beautiful GD's

Posts: 57 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Out West
Topic Posts: 3