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Reconciliation
User Topic: One Year Anniv
betrayedme2
Member
Member # 40639
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, January 17th (Friday)

The trickle truth began one year ago today. She went out with a friend and came home sick from binge drinking. She knew I didn't approve of going out with this "friend" (married girl that liked to run around), but promised it was only dinner and made her promise not to go to the girls favorite dive bar. Yep, 1am, came stumbling home, from this bar. I'm not even sure who brought her home, says this friend, but who knows...

Needless to say a lot of old memories, thoughts, and feelings are rising up. Guess what she's doing tonight....going out with a friend...dinner and a show. At least it's a different friend.

The past year has been a roller coaster. Mostly good days now. Actually past 4-6 months has been pretty darn good. No major arguments recently and communication has vastly improved. Trust is still being built. My guard is still up though. The trickle truth and her continued antics following D day, still makes me suspicious. Still hurts.

Life is vastly better than a year ago. I think she's a happier person today too. It's a slow process that will just take a long time.


dday: 1/19/13
ME: mid 40's
WW: low 40'3
2 daughters, 17, 21
Reconciling

Posts: 83 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, January 17th (Friday)

Why is she going out without you at all? Why she is basically repeating what she did the night of dday (almost exactly a year ago which in itself would be triggery)?


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4000 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
betrayedme2
Member
Member # 40639
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, January 17th (Friday)

I honestly don't think she realizes the date and I haven't said anything about it. I'm terrible with dates and probably wouldn't have remembered it myself if it wasn't being so grateful for not having work on MLK day.

The friend she's going out with tonight seems to be in a stable marriage and isn't a bad influence. In other words, I'm comfortable with this friend. just triggery, like you said. I know if I said anything, she'd cancel in a heartbeat. Tomorrow we're spending the day together and doing a family event tomorrow night. Tomorrow I guess would be the true one year anniv of d-day.


dday: 1/19/13
ME: mid 40's
WW: low 40'3
2 daughters, 17, 21
Reconciling

Posts: 83 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, January 17th (Friday)

I guess as long as you're truly OK with it... but I question whether you are. You posted on here after all, didn't you? My suggestion would be to talk about it with her, not say that you don't want her to go, but just discuss how it feels for you.

Wouldn't it be awful if you triggered while she was out and it ended up wrecking your nice day tomorrow?

And FWIW I'm not comfortable with my H going out alone with friends at this point. Period. He's !))% fine with that.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 944 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 4