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User Topic: Sympathy for Cal and Viv
inshockandhurt
Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 12:59 AM, January 19th (Sunday)

Ever since I found out about my husband’s affair I have had trouble enjoying movies like Titanic and Walk the Line. The love stories in both these movies are not sweet to me any longer; I view them now through the filter of my knowledge about affairs and I identify too much with characters like Cal and Viviane. For instance, the part where Cal frames Jack for theft and has him arrested does not seem like such a bad thing now; I mean honestly who hasn’t dreamt about having the AP arrested? I also find myself cringing in sympathy with Cal when Rose tells the poor guy she would, “rather be [Jack’s] whore than [his] wife”. I know that he acted a little nuts during a lot of that movie, and he was portrayed as being quite an arrogant ass, but honestly most of his behavior is understandable in context; I mean if most of us had had a gun on dday I am sure a lot of us might have found ourselves chasing the AP with it as well.
In Walk the Line, Johnny’s wife Viviane is portrayed as an unsupportive, nagging bitch… classic wayward justifications. I felt bad for Viv when I watched that movie before but because of the way they portrayed her, I am ashamed to say I was rooting for Johnny and June, now however I cannot watch the love story between those two and find it anything but sad and a trigger. It is actually very sad and kind of disturbing the way infidelity is depicted in the media. I wonder if it would occur quite so much if the devastating truth of it was shown in media?


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:07 AM, January 19th (Sunday)

Yeah, I know what you mean. I started a thread about triggery movies. There are so freakin'' many of them that romanticize the A and treat the BS as if they deserved to be betrayed.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3871 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
phoenixrise
Member
Member # 41745
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, January 19th (Sunday)

Know what you mean the BS are demonized when they are the true underdogs holding down the fort. Watching movies trigger me to the max I cant watch them anymore I even trigger with commercials. Same here I dont look at characters in movies the same way anymore... is there a movie where the cheater knows they screwed up and go back to the BS on bended knee...I couldn't even enjoy watching that because of triggers...gone with the wind...slutty Scarlett!! Melanie??? melody??? Is my hero when I used to love Scarlett...go figure and I cant even remember poor Melanie/ melody's name :)


"The grass is greener on the other side because of all the shit that is used to fertilize it"
Him: WH after 8 yrs M...wow to think he held my hand during labor twice
Me: thought I was a cool loving wife
D Day: 7 mos ago RIP soul

Posts: 212 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Dante's Inferno
wanttogoforward
Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, January 19th (Sunday)

Most romantic movies suck.... the BS is always a bitch or a nag or 'deserved' to be cheated on or left. The worst is Bridges of Madison County... and I saw that one years ago.... refuse to watch it. Who the hell keeps a scrapbook of your weekend f-fest and relives it without any guilt for many years? Who would do that? It was one freakin weekend.... but their Luuuurrvvv was so great! really!??? What about the poor H who was away with her kids??!!! Did she think about any of them before she spent her lifetime fantsizing about one lousy weekend as if it was the cat's meow! ONE weekend!

Hollywood can really suck! But then no one wants to pay big bucks to see a movie about a couple that actually works hard and makes their M work... that is boring to them!


Posts: 1179 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, January 19th (Sunday)

I couldn't even watch Brokeback Mountain after DDay. It wasn't the gay cowboy sex, it was the infidelity.

This shit definitely changes our levels of acceptability..


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
WaryOptimist
Member
Member # 19911
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, January 19th (Sunday)

My H knows I love movies, so very shortly after Dday he turned on Walk the Line .... and then when I left the room 20 minutes in, he followed me because he couldn't understand why I didn't want to watch it. Really? Really?? You want me to watch a story about a guy who's leaving his wife and children for someone he works with, just like you are contemplating doing? Really??

Yeah, to this day he's not good with my triggers.


Me: The faithful one
Him: WS
4 great kids
Married 28 years, together 36
D-Day: April 1, 2006 (yep, April Fool's Day...)
Aaaaaas Yoooouuu Wiiiiiish...

Posts: 649 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Here & There
inshockandhurt
Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I have never seen Bridges of Madison County, I will be sure to avoid it now. I wonder if it's true that people would hate a movie about the truth? I think part of the reason affairs are portrayed the way they are is because the drama is what people want to see and the love story, I think R can be extremely dramatic and full of love sometimes. Any writers on here should give it a crack; it would be nice to see a more truthful story told. There has to be at least one famous person on this site that could get a real story told.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
4everfaithful83
Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I totally understand! One of my favorite movies is "The Notebook" and after DDAY I now see it for what it really is...not a movie about true love, but a movie about a woman who has an affair and leaves her fiance.... :(

I guess it just goes with the territory. I've watched so many movies with similar story lines (something borrowed,walk the line..ext..) and never connected to that part because it hadn't happened to me yet. But you can't understand something until you've been through it...

I hope someday I can watch movies again without the triggers


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
inshockandhurt
Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

My husband and I were talking about affairs in the media the other day and one thing I asked him is, does he think he would have had the affair if popular movies hadn't portrayed it as no big deal? In the movies the total devastation of the BS is minimized or even vilified and I wonder if that attitude helps to increase the amount of affairs; if people were shown how damaging it can be and what an awful thing it really is would it happen quite as much? I hope not, though I know in some cases it would.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
inshockandhurt
Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Wow! Only a few posts and already there are a bunch of movies with this theme that I didn't even think about. It really as depicted as a romantic ideal isn't it? How sad.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Johnnys wife was portrayed as naggy and demanding. I felt sorry for her. She was hurt and then anger set in. Another one that should be on the list...A Walk on the Moon. Diane Lane and Viggio,


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5066 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I can't watch Brokeback Mountain. It IS because of the gay cowboy sex,though.


In nearly every movie or TV show where there is adultery, the BS is a bagging,raving bitch. And the poor WS, he just can't help himself..and who can blame him?


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7486 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

In nearly every movie or TV show where there is adultery, the BS is a bagging,raving bitch. And the poor WS, he just can't help himself..and who can blame him?
And when the roles are reversed, the BH is either an abusive controlling nightmare, or a selfish neglectful absentee, and the WW is "rescued" by an OM who "really sees her" or some such bullshit. Equally offensive and barf-inducing.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25504 | Registered: Aug 2011
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I went to the movies last night. There were two trailers:

1. The Invisible Woman.
Movie about Charles Dickens and his young mistress. How awful for these soulmates to be kept apart by society's silly conventions! The wife is a not only a nag but also fat, so no sympathy for her it seems. I won't be seeing that one.

2. Gloria.
A middle-aged woman starts a new life which includes paint-balling her no-good, lying ex. Much better!


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

the BS is a bagging,raving bitch.
I posted a thread not too long ago titled "Fuck You Bugs Bunny and Fleet Farm" because even in a Bugs Bunny cartoon that was how the BS was portrayed. Okay, it was a Tasmanian Devil, but still. And, Bugs was the AP.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9708 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I understand what you mean.

Scandal: Melly (President's wife) is portrayed as a conniving, power-hungry bitch, while the cheating President and his mistress, Olivia Pope, are portrayed as star-crossed lovers whom we are supposed to sympathize with and cheer for. Boo.

A recent trigger for me was actually The Lake House, which I used to love. Even though neither of the characters are married (in fact, Alex, Keanu Reeves's character, is completely single), Sandra Bullock's character, Kate, is dating Morgan, a guy who is portrayed as a sort of heavy-handed ass who dictates their relationship. Kate kisses Alex once while dating Morgan, and they later break up. Then, Kate starts dating Morgan again, but she eventually leaves him for Alex.

I hadn't watched the movie for a few years, but my take on it when watching it recently was completely different. All I could think was, "Why don't you just be honest with yourself and break up with the guy before you start something else?" Kate is portrayed as clearly unhappy with Morgan, and I feel like she uses Morgan as a way to get over Alex when they get back together. Not cool.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3606 | Registered: Oct 2011
stillprettyupset
Member
Member # 41286
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I would make the pro-marriage movie, but it would only gross $12 because nobody wants to see a couple bickering over whether to throw out the week old tuna casserole. They want the dangerously risky romance of sneaking off to Niagara Falls for candlelight dinners and freaky monkey sex.

I suggested it, and was told we had no money. The gas bill was due and groceries were more than expected. UnFunny how the practicality overrides the romance with me, but not with him.

This is improving dramatically, in all fairness. Just a bitch from past experience.


Me: 42
WW: 36
Latest D-day: Sept 2013
Reconciling? Limbo?

Posts: 96 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NE Ohio
Alyssamd24
Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

WW here. I agree that there are many movies that make affairs seem ok, and think it's very sad.

But there are also some movies that don't glamorize affairs....the only ones I can think of are Unfaithful and Derailed. Both movies show how lives can be destroyed by affairs.

I wish I could think of more...


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 852 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I would make the pro-marriage movie, but it would only gross $12 because nobody wants to see a couple bickering over whether to throw out the week old tuna casserole.

Don't forget the action scene when one of them nearly slips shoveling snow from the driveway.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Angry  Posted: 1:16 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

It's in kids shows, too. Zach and Cody had an episode where Zach had to hide his new girlfriend from the girlfriend he already had... And it all turned out ok... No one was mad, and the old girlfriend just left as a friend. The iCarly had an epi where the kids were trying to get in the book of records, and Spencer was hitting on the representative for the book... She told him she had a boyfriend, and he said,"I don't know your boyfriend." those shows were banned in our house. I literally switched from Disney because it Z&C pissed me off, and the next show triggered me, too! Plus... I don't want my kids learning that bullshit behavior...

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 2:00 PM, January 19th (Sunday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I would make the pro-marriage movie, but it would only gross $12 because nobody wants to see a couple bickering over whether to throw out the week old tuna casserole. They want the dangerously risky romance of sneaking off to Niagara Falls for candlelight dinners and freaky monkey sex.

HA HA HA! So true. Unfortunately, it's become a vicious cycle. People want to see romantic, unrealistic movies, and they then think those plot lines should be a part of their real lives, and so on and so forth. It's too bad that we can't go see those movies and take them with a grain of salt-- instead, we fantasize that our lives will follow the same unrealistic plot lines (consequence-free, of course) and that whatever we truly have in our real lives is dull and not worth appreciating. Obviously, this is not true of everyone, but I think it's true for many.

We definitely need more movies like The Descendants. I thought that was the closest thing I've seen in recent memory that shows what infidelity is really like.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3606 | Registered: Oct 2011
million tears
Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

There is a movie with Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr. Sandra's WH left her for her best friend. It was a good portrayal of a BW. I can't remember the name but I liked the show.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Hope Floats


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3606 | Registered: Oct 2011
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Yes..Hope Floats. Can't watch that movie either...the scene with the little girl yelling at her daddy to take her with him, as she's trying to get in his car breaks my heart.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7486 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

That scene is utterly heartbreaking.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25504 | Registered: Aug 2011
Chicky
Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

"I wish I could think of more..."

Damage starring Jeremy Irons.


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 550 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Not a movie I think but I saw a preview for some show and the OW was yelling that the WH for having sex with his wife while he was sleeping with her.

Seriously is that supposed to make someone want to watch the show?

I watch tv and movies with a whole different set of eyes now.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

Heartburn, with Meryl Streep. She, of course, did a wonderful job showing the complicated feelings of a BS.

There was also a Tyler Perry movie recently (I know, but it was a serious one) called Temptation, that showed how an A blew up big time for everyone. Not very well done, but was a cautionary tale.

Unfaithful actually showed an A in a happy M and they did not try to demonize the BH (although, of course he did kill the OM!). The WW was just bored and got caught up in it, with obviously disastrous results.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I wish Heartburn the movie had the heart of Heartburn the book.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6487 | Registered: Jan 2011
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

It's in kids shows, too.

God, been seeing it in kids' TV shows too. We were watching the 1992 X-Men series, and while Jean is recovering from her resurrection, Cyclops goes out to a nightclub and makes out with Dazzler. Jean/Phoenix catches him, and yet after the whole Phoenix debacle, no one even mentions what he was doing. He says he loves her, but never even apologizes for what he was doing with Dazzler (ironically Emma Frost was in the episode too, but Cyclops didn't cheat with her, unlike in the comics).

Then there was Batman Beyond. After Terry (the new Batman) stood up his girlfriend Dana again, she breaks up with him and 5 minutes later he runs into Melanie. There was no actual infidelity in that episode, though I found their "caught in the rain" moments sickening since he had never put that effort into his relationship with Dana. The next episode with Melanie in it, it *was* infidelity. He was with Dana again and blew her off on the phone to spend the night with Melanie. And yet in almost all episodes, Dana is presented as the nagging girlfriend (why wouldn't she be? Her boyfriend is constantly ditching her, and he won't even tell her his secret). Somewhat vindicated later in that he told her his secret and they still got engaged, but still… They were saying in an interview that one of the producers wanted Terry to start making out with his and Dana's best friend, and another producer vetoed it with extreme prejudice. Yay for Bruce Timm.

Sorry for the rant. For some reason, it angers me worse in the kids' shows. Almost like it's saying "hey, so and so was a nag, and relationships aren't meant to last anyway at that age!" Doesn't make cheating OK.

ETA: Oh yeah, and Buffy. Could go on a rant or few about some of those episodes.

ETA again: and X-Files. Feel so sorry for Cassandra Spender and Bill Mulder.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 2:47 PM, January 19th (Sunday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
JerseyCowgirl
Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I feel the same way but also with a twist...I have a hard time with movies that show spouses sticking it out through the hard times and cry because mine left me when I became I'll so I guess it is like jealousy and I can't watch them either anymore.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 330 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

An episode of scrubs made me nearly throw my ipad across the room. Good luck charlie, because the baby's name (not Charlie, the new one) is the same as the prostitute's "Stage name". One of my daughter's favorite toutube celebs goes by that as his nickname. (I want to know her real name, so it's not such a damn trigger all the time! )

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 4:14 PM, January 19th (Sunday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
stillprettyupset
Member
Member # 41286
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

In light of total honesty, they only went to the aquarium and dinner once. I have no idea what else, but it wasn''t Niagara Falls. But, you should all know that all suggestions to go places were hers and I have never once suggested we go somewhere fun. We all clear now?

PS, we also never really made tuna casserole


Me: 42
WW: 36
Latest D-day: Sept 2013
Reconciling? Limbo?

Posts: 96 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NE Ohio
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I totally understand! One of my favorite movies is "The Notebook" and after DDAY I now see it for what it really is...not a movie about true love, but a movie about a woman who has an affair and leaves her fiance.... :(
I guess it just goes with the territory. I've watched so many movies with similar story lines (something borrowed,walk the line..ext..) and never connected to that part because it hadn't happened to me yet. But you can't understand something until you've been through it...

Disagree with that last sentence. I hated The Notebook because of the infidelity, way before going through it myself. There's plenty of things I understand that I haven't gone personally gone through.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

And when the roles are reversed, the BH is either an abusive controlling nightmare, or a selfish neglectful absentee, and the WW is "rescued" by an OM who "really sees her" or some such bullshit. Equally offensive and barf-inducing.

Exactly, works both ways.
Re ally don't understand the need for sexist attitudes in a thread like this.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Jesu
Member
Member # 36422
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

nobody wants to see a couple bickering over whether to throw out the week old tuna casserole

Why on earth would anyone argue about that? No wonder so many marriages fail, if that's the kind of thing people waste their time arguing about.


Me: BSO 39
Her: WSO 29
Together: 9 years
Married?: No
Children?: No
OM: A friend of a friend
DD#1: June 18th 2012
Many more DD after TT
PA#1: 1 week in Nov/Dec 2010, which led to a long distance EA
R: ?

Posts: 608 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Oz
Lonelygirl10
Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, January 19th (Sunday)

I've been watching Army Wives lately on Netflix. There's a lot of cheating in that show, and the couples always work it out. But something that I've noticed with every single couple is that the BS changes after the A to make the WS more happy. One wife cheated with a guy who rode a motorcycle and the husband was painted as this "strict" guy who didn't have fun... after she was caught, the husband got a motorcycle and they rode off into the sunset together. With a different couple, the husband cheated because the wife didn't want kids. After he got caught, the wife got pregnant to make him happy. So yeah, all that upsets me.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2013
inshockandhurt
Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)

I agree that it is infuriating when it is kid's shows, it bothers me that the idea that affairs are acceptable and romantic is given to kid's even at a young age. Thanks Disney. I was watching a kids movie the other day, and I knew I should turn it off when I had the strong urge to cuss at the characters.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
Ellejay
Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)

"Fatal Attraction"

That movie should have been enough to put anyone off even thinking about having an affair.



Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
purplejacket4
Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)

My fathers favorite movie was Dr. Zhivago. He made me watch as a teenager. I hated it. The dude had a wife and a mistress the whole movie. When Bridges of Madison County came out I hated that too. After that I was more careful with movies I went to. That's why I never saw the Notebook. What crap.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)

Suckerpunch triggered me big time last night... i'd been wanting to see it, so FWH bought me the bluray... First there's a bifg reference to porn... And i was like, no biggie, I can deal... Then they were also prostitutes, I was done. Started crying... Had to turn it off...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 41