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User Topic: 1 year today for us too
Sienna500
Member
Member # 38832
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, January 20th (Monday)

I feel guilty for saying this but my life has changed for the better. I went about everything the wrong way but 1 year on and I don't take drugs and I only ever drink responsibly. I talk about my feelings more and I recognise how I feel more.

Recognising my own feelings has helped me recognise my husband's feelings too. I have more empathy than I ever have done and I know my life is my own hands. Sure I wobble and I get mixed up but I do try and enunciate my feelings. I've learned that when I say how I feel about something my husband's reaction is nearly always positive and it often makes me feel better!

I had a wobble at New Year and I told my H. I wanted to get high and party and I thought he'd be angry. He wasn't angry at all, he said "come on let's go out!" Dancing and laughing with him then returning home in good spirits was so much better than any drug I've taken and the consequences of New Year this year was a fantastic family orientated New Years Day.

So, I can't help but feel my life has improved 1 year on. It doesn't mean I don't wish I'd just made the changes myself instead of hitting self destruct and taking my family with me.

I must say SI has been a great help to me (and to my H). Thank you so far and no doubt I/we'll still need your support for a while yet.

Edited to say: I referenced New Year because last year 2012/2013 I'd taken such a bizarre concoction of pills that I was passed out when the clock struck midnight and New Years day was spent in Accident & Emergency with lots of arguments from every which way.

[This message edited by Sienna500 at 11:32 AM, January 20th (Monday)]


Me: WW 27
Him: BH 28
M: 5 years, together 8
3 kids (aged 3, 4 & a baby born 5 Sept 2013)
3 ONSs in 2 weeks
DDay: 20 Jan 2013 (a week after)

Posts: 200 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: UK
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, January 20th (Monday)

Dancing and laughing with him then returning home in good spirits was so much better than any drug I've taken and the consequences of New Year this year was a fantastic family orientated New Years Day.

So much winning with how this played out. Good luck on continued success.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51900 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, January 20th (Monday)

Glad to read this positive update!


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2094 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
1bigidiot79
Member
Member # 40557
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, January 20th (Monday)

I feel guilty for saying this but my life has changed for the better.
I can't quite say that yet but I know where you are coming from and I think I know what you are saying.

I am six months out and I have come to realize that even though life pretty much sucks right now, I know that if I keep up the hard work that I will be a much better person in the long run.

I, like you, hate the fact that I have hurt my family so much but I truly feel like long term I will be much better for it. I feel the guilt you speak of as well because of this.

I hope my BS will one day look at me and see that she can be happy with me again. The new me. I hope I keep up the work and become the man she thought I was. I hope she has confidence in that man and can learn to love him again.


DDay 7/23/13
TT on 3/5/14 - Finally came completely clean
Finally working on making real changes in my life, one day at a time.

Posts: 163 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: United States
Sienna500
Member
Member # 38832
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, January 21st (Tuesday)

I think I'd put too much of an expectation on yesterday. I expected to either argue or feel differently or just something but as it happened it made me realise that it's just another day on our journey. I think my husband's feelings obviously have a bearing on this too. The fact is that he also just saw it as another day.

Thank you for your replies.


Me: WW 27
Him: BH 28
M: 5 years, together 8
3 kids (aged 3, 4 & a baby born 5 Sept 2013)
3 ONSs in 2 weeks
DDay: 20 Jan 2013 (a week after)

Posts: 200 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 5