Welcome. I''m glad that you found us for support, even though I know that you wish that you didn''t have the reason to come looking for us.
Please first off, look in the upper left corner at the yellow box. Click on The Healing Library. Start reading it. It''s full of good information that was written by people who have walked your path and have BTDT. Knowledge is power so use this opportunity to use our experience for your benefit. In the first 1-3 pages of this forum are several posts that have bulls-eyes next to them. Click on them and read the initial page. Also good knowledge for you and they are frequently bumped up to the first pages so that all new people can get their benefit.
You did a good think in immediately kicking him out and insisting that he get IC (individual counseling) if there was to be a hope for the two of you. That was a strength move on your part and hopefully will shock him out of his self-indulgent fog into awareness of what he is throwing away. It also gives you a chance to think of what YOU need. Right now, your emotions are probably all over the place. Love, hate, regret, rage, sorrow, bewilderment, anger, disgust, ... all of these emotions are probably cruising through your body and mind, sometimes within seconds of each other. This is normal. We call this the rollercoaster. You didn''t ask to get on it you were strapped on it against your will and you will likely ride it''s ups and downs for a long time. You are NOT going crazy, even though you may think so. This is your body and mind reacting to the trauma that your WBF has put you through. And make no mistake. You are going through trauma that is equal to his physical pain and suffering. Also, make no mistake, that he chose to do what he did. He had plenty of options. The internet has TED talks, motorcycle racing forums, cat videos, and all other kinds of places to go where you can be distracted from your life. All you have to do is choose to search for those places and click your mouse. All healthy choices. But he made the DECISION to search for sex sites. He CHOSE to do so, knowing that it would hurt you. And each and every time he went to a new site, it was a new CHOICE, DECISION to do so. Not a mistake oops, look where the mouse took me! It was all on him, his choice, his decision. You own none of this. This is ALL on him.
Come back often for support. We''re all here for you.