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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Mediation Mojo needed!
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Post decree mediation tomorrow, NPD-x filed a motion to modify CS, SS, and parenting time. I hired a brilliant lawyer that has punched holes all over his motion in the response he wrote.

NPD-x began by requesting the judge expedite the hearing and skip required mediation due to dire financial straits...he makes $96,000/year. He wants to immediately modify parenting time deviating from the decree when oldest DD emancipates in 4 months, and younger kid is off to college in August and lives 100% with me (for over 3 years) and would rather stick forks in her eyes than live 50% with NPD-x and live in GF.

Much of it is just nuts, but the below takes the cake....

NPD-x took out a $60,000 second mortgage before divorce without my knowledge. Very suspicious and murky real estate deal without clear paperwork. Decree states specifics, which of course NPD-x claims are now not true. He and his lawyer are stating all kinds of numbers without any supporting documentation and expect me to just say, "OK, sounds great."

NPD-x claims I have a third of the money he borrowed (decree says nothing about this), he had 2/3 of it and spent if after the decree was signed on living expenses and other things. He wants my 1/3 back and wants me then to pay my 50% of the loan he took out. So to clarify, he gets to spend all the money he stole..I mean borrowed, and I get to pay half of it for him.... You can't make this stuff up.

One thing I have learned from this is all those emails I saved....saved my butt. I have emails from him refuting most of the distortions he is claiming.

Mediation is tomorrow at 9AM.

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 10:44 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2651 | Registered: Jan 2010
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

One thing I have learned from this is all those emails I saved....saved my butt. I have emails from him refuting most of the distortions he is claiming.
THANK GOODNESS!! Good luck tomorrow! Sounds like he hired a shark to scare you but you have your ducks in a row. Please keep us updated when you can!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

(((Chrys))) Your post is a perfect example of NPD logic. He wants it, he wants it right now, and the entire world and court system should jump to suit him.

Sounds like he is in a bit of financial trouble. Awwwww, shucks. Couldn't happen to a more deserving twit.

Mojo to you, but I suspect you will need self control not to roll your eyes or snicker more than you will need mojo.

I will hope for brilliance in spades for your L. I hope the law pokes holes in your X!!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

I hope that he''s hoisted by his petard during a gale-force wind. MOJO!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

How'd it go?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Aug 2013
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

Still happening. Frustrating and I will report back later.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2651 | Registered: Jan 2010
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

I hope everything goes well for you!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4753 | Registered: Feb 2008
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

Still sending good vibes...


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9536 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

thinking of you. hope its going ok


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8439 | Registered: Apr 2008
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

It was a huge, expensive waste of time. I am feeling pretty upset over it, as I found out he wants to financially ruin me.

It's sick, truly sick.

I have an email to my lawyer about next steps, pros/cons and costs.

I feel pretty upset.

This too shall pass....This too shall pass.....


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2651 | Registered: Jan 2010
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

(((hugs)))

as I found out he wants to financially ruin me.

Of course he does. That is NPD thinking. Destroy the BS. I am sorry you are on his radar!! Maybe he will get bored or be thwarted enough to give up.

Either way, you are correct: it will pass.

MORE (((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, January 24th (Friday)

(((((Chrysalis123))))) Lots and lots of hugs.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, January 24th (Friday)

Chrysalis,

Realizing that their hatred doesn't go away was so hard for me to get. It is a scary thing to realize, just how far they will go to get that win against us.

He will do everything he can to throw you under the bus! You've been a very bad opponent my friend-you stood up to him. Why didn't you just pay all his bills (on your teacher salary) so he could just have a good time. Chrysalis, after all he's given you sooooo much and never took anything from you!

Hon, there's a reason you kept all those emails-you know your time rebuking his claims is not over. You've got the truth on your side, let your lawyer use it. Just because he interprets things differently now, doesn't mean that's the way the rest of the normal world will interpret the decree.

Hugs, the realization that after so many years the hatred hasn't lessened still stings. The time is approaching where it won't matter anymore, your dealings with him are coming to an end.

You've got this! With grace, truth and a brilliant lawyer, you've got this!

More hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5017 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, January 24th (Friday)

(((((Chrysalis))))) Strength to you, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25060 | Registered: Aug 2011
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, January 24th (Friday)

(((hugs)))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51946 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 15