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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Ugh.
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Teslet brought home a flyer for a family breakfast at his school...needs rsvp.

Teslet said he'd like his mom and dad to come would I let dad know? Oh and we should invite stripper whore too because she lives with dad.

Ah, fuck me, this family breakfast is on D-day. Great.

Gonna get my big girl panties on and text this fucker. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

You are such a good mom. Remember that, above all else.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1728 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

You go in there with your head held high. Stripper-whore will be more uncomfortable because there will not be another parent there that does not respect you for your dedication to Teslet. But I may be wrong because she is oblivious.
No one will miss that they are a train wreck of dysfunctional delusions thinking that decent people want them at a school function. Especially the dumbass who showed up with a stripper-whore.

[This message edited by risingfromashes at 8:22 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1620 | Registered: Mar 2004
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for Teslet.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4753 | Registered: Feb 2008
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

((((tesla))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25060 | Registered: Aug 2011
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

to the flyer and hugs to you. You are a good mom. If they DO come, YOU will get the praise and respect from the other parents and teachers. They will get ... crickets.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

What a good mom you are.

I don't think I could do it. :(


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1572 | Registered: Aug 2010
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

I never talk to the sad clown about this stuff - I forward the note to him either in the girls bags or via email with no comment if the date is close.

If the girls asked OWUmpteen to come I'd tell them they should talk to their dad.

If she does show they are the ones who should feel uncomfortable. They will look ridiculous.

((Tesla)) I would struggle to hear that come out of my babies mouths. I'm glad he feels comfortable enough to tell you, but still.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

(((tesla))) I'm sorry, sweetie. This must be horrible for you. But maybe look at it this way. You'll most likely have some great (and by great I mean in the train wreck sense of the word) stories to post that will entertain us all.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

If your ex-shat runs true to form, he won't show up. He'll forget or think that it was the following week, etc.

If he does, though... sorry, I don't blame you for not wanting to share the same air with them, but won't he look so stupid with her on his arm. I mean, based on your descriptions, what an embarrassment she must be. I'm sure the members of the PTA will be delighted to meet her and will invite her to join!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3575 | Registered: Oct 2011
myowndystopia
Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Is there not like a email newsletter that would make him responsible for
a. Reading it
b. responding to it and then
c. Actually showing up

Then the pressure is off of you to pass on info. If he doesn't show or respond-----he didn't read his email!


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

He's not going to show...I know it. He's too much of a chickenshit. He dislikes the school because he couldn't get his way earlier in the year with having stripper whore do pick ups.

And *if* he did show up with her and the OC, it would be fucking train wreck central. Shit, it probably would make for a great post.

I've never bothered before about communicating these kind of things because there was always time to send it over or there was a link on the school's website...but this time there wasn't. And Teslet asked specifically.

For Teslet's sake, I hope the fucker shows up.
For my sake, I hope he doesn't.
FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

I've gotten many "requests" from FTFred through my son, and I ignore ALL of those. DS should NOT be responsible for relaying FT's wishes. If he wants to coordinate something with me, he can ask his damn self.

I scan and email him school and scouting activities, but he ignores them all anyway. Oh well, I did my part..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2108 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Memo to Tesla -- invest in a scanner...this is not the last time this is going to happen.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
kiki1
Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Tesla,

Werent you the poster about picking up dog shit for a happy meal

If bad comes to worse and they show, think of that. They'll wonder why you smile so and you'll have your mind on other things.

Good Luck and yes, you are a great mom!!

Hugs,,,,,,


Posts: 553 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

(((Tesla))) You always do the right thing.

I, on the other hand, would 'forget' to send it until it was too late to rsvp. Because I know xpos *would* show up.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2280 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

In situations like ours I would be wary of becoming the messenger for our kids - especially if you think he's not going to show.

Teslet needs to ask him if he wants him there. I showed up to my big girls first school info night - the sad clown did not. She kept asking if he was coming and I said I didn't know. She then asked if I told him and I said I didn't have to because the school tells him everything they tell me. He lied told her I didn't tell him.

Imagine if I had asked him - he still would have said I didn't tell him but she would have no proof of it. She now asks him herself. If he doesn't show it's on him - no-one else.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
BAB61
Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

Oh my. I'm not sure I would be able to do that. I would probably have Teslet call him. Good on you for being a great Mom!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)

You are a better mom than me.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9536 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

Hahaha, love that, NG! Sure feels like that dealing with them, doesn't it??


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2280 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

I''d copy it and send it to him. But I wouldn''t ask him to come. It''s up to him to decide that.

Because in his head if you text him:

Tesla wants me there. So I shouldn''t go. But I could show her up. I could show that school that she''s the idiot. But that school are nasty to me. I shouldn''t go. I hate that school. I should go, I''ll show them. But Tesla wants me there.I shouldn''t go. But I can make her play happy families. I should go. But then I''ll have to spend time with the other families. I shouldn''t go. But then I an show them how I''m friends with Tesla & that''ll make me look good. I should go. But....

And so on.

If you just send it (like a flyer):

Huh, what''s this? Ah,can''t be bothered. Need to make ''er indoors'' pick up dog poop.


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 898 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:24 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

As a parent who sits thru band concerts with XWH and OW in the crowd, it totally sucks. It actually HURTS me so badly, however, when POS does not show up to functions, because I know my child hurts.

You are a quality person and can do this.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Jan 2012
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:50 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

I can't even imagine. However, you've shown what a great mom you are. So .... even though it sucks .... it's for the boy.

And I'm sure if he does show, it'll make for the most hi-fucking-larious post yet.

(((Tesla)))

And, from the view of the childless spinster, he sounds like such an awesome little dude. This being that he is comfortable enough to tell you this sort of thing. (((Teslet)))


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
velveteer
Member
Member # 30997
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

This is shit but you can do this Tesla - for teslet.

I have had to sit through school functions with WXW and OM in the room (OM's kids are at the school too - his DD in my DS's class!). Every time OM sits away from WXW and keeps his head low in shame. Remember - it is always worse for them - our discomfort is nothing to their shame. Head high.


Divorced

Posts: 870 | Registered: Jan 2011
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:53 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

I hate this too. But it's the right thing to do for Teslet, it also shows Teslet what a great mom you are.

I let my ex know by email that way he can't say I didn't tell him. There is a chain of evidence because every 5 minutes he's threatening to take me to court for some imaginary thing I have 'done to him'. I also ask him to let me know by x date if he is attending.

He never attends anything, he never replies either to these emails. Kids complain to me that he never turns up I tell them they have to talk to their dad about it. They complain to him and he will ignores them, lies to them, blame me, or whines that the OWifestress can't attend (kids don't want her there) or finds some injustice to blame it on.

At the end of the day the kids know who is in their corner.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1324 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

Good for you tesla! The possibility of being around them sucks but make sure you look unintentionally hot


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 937 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
debbysbaby
Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

Free iPhone/smartphone app: TurboScan

The only thing I use my physical scanner for anymore is photographs.

Download it, email the sucker which you can do straight from the app and don't say a word. He can read.

(Tesla)

[This message edited by debbysbaby at 10:15 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)]


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 860 | Registered: Aug 2011
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

If Teslet wants his mother and his father there, then stripperwhore has no business going. She is not his parent.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3314 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, January 23rd (Thursday)

I wouldn't go. Period.
There are some things that children benefit from learning. One of them is that sometimes you can't have everything your way.
STBX's X....yeah, made a funny and didn't realize, was awful to us. Both boys wanted both parents at EVERYTHING.
Now I did make an exception for big events, like graduations.
That was it. The few WH and I compromised, every time she never failed to disappoint. As soon as she would start saying nasty crap, I would pretend like she wasn't in the room and would look right through her. She got WH every time, though. He couldn't resist going tit for tat with her.
I sincerely hope that if you do go, that neither of them "misbehaves" in front of adorable little teslet.
Best of luck.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2213 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
npain
Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

My advice is to scan and send him the info. Or take a pic of the flyer and send it to him. That way, if he ignores it, it's on him. I send STBX info all the time, I stopped telling him because he wouldn't show and then tell people I didn't tell him anything...

And I agree, look amazingly hot...


S,beginning D

Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

Tesla,

You did the right thing doing what Teslet asked. It will be hard if they show, but you can handle it.

I hope he doesn't tell Teslet he's coming any not show.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5017 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)

I told him that he needed to respond by today since the rsvp is due tomorrow. No response.

Thanks for the app suggestion, debbysbaby. Downloading and using that from now on.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 32