Just Found Out
User Topic: Dreams of husband cheating. interpretation
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, January 24th (Friday)

I have been having reoccurring dreams that my husband is cheating on me. About 4 times this week. So I did some research. Who knows if the interpretation is accurate or not. But it seems to be pretty spot on for me. This was One of the more detailed interpretation from one of the sites. I thought I would share in case anyone else was having similar dreams

"Dreams are usually symbolic. When you dream your spouse is cheating on you, take a deep breath; it’s most likely not a literal warning.
Evaluate the current situation in your relationship. Usually a cheating spouse symbolizes that you feel your lover’s attention has been elsewhere. He could be working more, spending too much time and money on video games, perhaps her physical fitness routine has ramped up and she’s off jogging in the mornings instead of cuddling and sleeping in. Perhaps an old friend got back in touch and they’ve been spending a lot of time on the phone.

Your subconscious interprets other interest as competition, and thus in your dream this competition is represented by someone taking your spouse away from you. You literally feel “cheated;” you feel you’ve been replaced and you’re no longer getting the attention you want.

This can indicate a potential problem in the relationship. It may be something unavoidable— such as if your spouse needs to take on a second job to pay the bills. It may be that the relationship is entering a bit of a rut. Perhaps you are insecure that your spouse has interests that you’re not part of.

Regardless of the cause, you need to talk your feelings over with your spouse and express your need for attention and reassurance that you’re still the most important thing to him or her. Even though your spouse is not being unfaithful, your needs are being presented in the dream because the situation is bothering you deeply. Stifling them can only make the situation worse in the long run— if your spouse understands how you feel, you can work on the situation together."

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, January 24th (Friday)

In my case these dreams meant that my H actually WAS cheating on me.

I thought the above definition applied. I would tell him about the dreams and opine we needed to be closer. He always told me I was being silly.

I'm not sure how a WS can live with themselves sometimes.

I don't have those dreams anymore.

Dday -9/24/2012

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, January 24th (Friday)

It's been about 3 weeks since dday for me. So these dreams feel too real to me.

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, January 24th (Friday)


Dday -9/24/2012

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
New Member
Member # 42045
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, January 24th (Friday)

Hello. I read a few of your posts you made over the last few weeks. I think your dreams stem from a sense of feeling like you don't have the whole story. I don't doubt for one second that he is hiding things from you. My D-Day was Jan 3rd, and my WS didn't admit to her long term affair until I pressed her about it and all but told her I was filing for divorce. I had to back her into a corner to get her to confess. From what I have seen so far of others stories, WS's will withhold as much information as possible if you let them. You need to confront them, and you need to firmly press them, and further press them about any inconsistencies in the stories they offer. You cannot accept anything at face value that they tell you.

I know how much it hurts to think about, but there is a very real possibility that it was physical even though he claims that it wasn't. I had to outright accuse my WS of it and give her my evidence to show her that the jig was up. They play mind games with themselves and trick themselves into thinking that you actually believe them. Do not let him live in his own little world anymore. Go into information gathering mode. Gather what evidence you can, and confront him head on about it. Don't be passive about anything, tell him you know what he's been doing and you have the proof. As long as he thinks you can't prove it he will continue to lie to you and trickle truth you. You need to crack the shell and get him to open up.

Be strong and hang in there.

[This message edited by MercifulH at 12:00 PM, January 24th (Friday)]

Me - BS 27
Her - WW 26 (Neveragain1221)
Started Dating 12/08/07
Married 04/03/12
D-day#1 05/02/12 Gaslighting, Rugsweeping
D-day#2 01/03/14 Confrontation about D-day#1, got confession
4 year EA and PA, TT, Affair began less than 1 year after we

Posts: 30 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Minnesota
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Thanks! MercifulH my d day was Jan 2nd. You are probably right. Every day i feel like I still don't know it all. He gets too upset when we talk about, he is definitely hiding something. The problem is is that he works for AT&T and his phone is a company phone so I can't get phone records. Even with phone records in don't think I would find out what he is hiding.

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 35497
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Um, yeah, my WH's attention was definitely elsewhere.

It was on his OW and all the ego boosting and love fantasies that they were cooking up while making me the evil witch. Keep on mind that an A is the ultimate expression of his attentions being elsewhere.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope you get the answers you need soon. Keep trusting your gut (and your dreams)!

Him WS
LTEA with old HS GF from 25+ years ago
DD #1: 10/6/2011
DD #2: 10/21/2011
2DS under18
Status: We'll see.

Posts: 327 | Registered: May 2012
Member # 36870
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, January 25th (Saturday)

I had dreams about my WH cheating all through our marriage. Funny how since we divorced the only dream I've had about him has been him telling me he's got back with his ex from years ago (my step daughters mum). (She just got engaged to someone else so no way that's happening.)

I always have totally crazy dreams though. But the re-occuring infidelity one always used to worry me.

D-Day 19 July 2012
Me - BS - 42
Status: Divorced

Posts: 187 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: England
Member # 41927
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

After D-day, my dreams were nightmares. I would dream that my WWF and the OP were looking at me laughing at me. Which they did in real life. Not to my face like in the dream.
For 4 months after D-day, I would wake up as if someone had punched me in the chest. I would wake up crying yelling. Til this day im scared to sleep because every so often it still happens.

After what I went through, after my personal experience, after talking to friends, family, others, and reading stories, I will never ever condone R. There is no R with these monsters.

Why keep getting near the snake if it has already bitten you?

BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
She recently ended it with OM

Posts: 195 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Tampa Florida
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

After reading what my WH wants to do or has done I have nightmares. When I was a child I had night terrors as a result of being sexually abused and not knowing what todo about it. (Not a story for here.) anyway.... I feel like that little girl again plagued by night terrors of not just what he is doing now, but in the future. And all possible reactions he wil have to a D

I was told that dreams are a way for your conscious mind to subconsciously process information you absorbed through the day. People you saw. Events you saw. Nuances. You take in way more than you consciously process. It is possible you are processing something your unconscious mind saw. Best bet. Be open with your spouse. Not accusing.

Good luck.

BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 418 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Member # 36291
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

In my case these dreams meant that my H actually WAS cheating on me.

Same here. The first dream/nightmare there was a blonde female cozying up to my H and they were taunting me. I woke up, opened phone records, visited spokeo and I located the blonde.

Thus far, the nightmares and instinct (6th sense?), have never been wrong.

heavy sigh

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Asia
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

I've had those dreams too. In fact I made a thread about it not to long ago. Last night I had a dream he was going down on a previous COW. I got jealous and trying to get his attention back I went down on him. It was very strange! Not sure what that dream meant.

Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

I have been having those dreams about 3-4 times a week since d-day which was 7 weeks ago. I wake up in a panic realizing it really happened.

Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!

Posts: 103 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Yeah I've had really vivid dreams about it. It's soo disturbing.

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 26854
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

I had a dream my husband was cheating and he was

DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1474 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
Member # 41782
Default  Posted: 2:25 AM, January 26th (Sunday)

About a year ago I had recurring dreams my wife was cheating on me, dreams where she'd be getting with a guy in front of me and smiling as she did it while I pleaded with her to stop. I'd wake up upset, but would quickly recover when I realised it wasn't real.

She said to me, 'I would never cheat on you honey, I wish I could make those dreams stop.'

Fast forward, she cheated.

Forgive the unforgivable, or bear the unbearable.

Me BS (34) WW (29)
Married 2 years
2y old Daughter
D-Day 05 Nov 13

Posts: 138 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 16