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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Fathers and Daughters
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, January 24th (Friday)

My twin DD's have a friend at school whose father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about this time last year.
He deteriorated after this new year started and I just found out he passed away last night.

I can't help thinking that my girls have lost their father as well.
They have lost their father to selfishness and his desire to "be happy".

I lost my father when he turned his back on his children more that 10 years ago when he took on a new and what he thought was a more sympathetic family. (Long story. I haven't seen or spoken to him in about 12 years.)

I am in tears for my girls' friend, my girls and me.

It's just not fair.



BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, January 24th (Friday)

((((DDs' friend))))
((((Lola & DDs))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25696 | Registered: Aug 2011
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Hugs Lola. It sucks, I know. I'm here if you need someone to get it all out to.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Later
Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Brother, I am right there with you. I am angry at how unfair it all is.

POS OM is with his family, My STBX is with our kids.

I didn't commit adultery and I am the one on the outside looking in.

All we can do is love them and have faith.


Posts: 385 | Registered: May 2013
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Is he not involved with your daughters?


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 840 | Registered: Nov 2012
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Not really.
A total of 5 overnights last year and a whopping 3% visitation. I documented.
His DOW fiancée lives in Europe so he travels there frequently.
He did not want a set visitation schedule in order to be free to travel.
His choice.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, January 24th (Friday)

Thanks DM.
I had to tell them the news when I got home from work and I started to cry. They were not upset, only concerned that I was upset.
My DD1 hugged me and said "it's ok mommy".
She had to console me. I really didn't want her to have to do that.
I sucked it up pretty quickly and told them their friend would need them now more than ever.
I'm not sure they fully understand the loss of someone this close. It's very hard because I think about the loss of my mom almost 20 years ago.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 7