User Topic: Trying not to be snarky
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, January 25th (Saturday)

WH just sent me a text stating he wasn't going to clear my driveway today because he was at a "track thing" this morning.

1. I didn't ask him to clear my driveway, in fact, I replied to a text he sent me last week that I really needed him to leave me alone.

2. He used many of his "track things" to cover his A over the years.

3. He used the money he made clearing snow to conduct his affair. He always told me that was "his" money do spend as he saw fit so I didn't ask questions. The snow removal, mowing, and "track things" accounted for 1000s of dollars and 1000s of hours. Lies!

I so desperately want to tell him to say "Hi!" to his skank for me. But, alas, I will take the high road and give him crickets!

Posts: 1952 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, January 25th (Saturday)

Good for you, Susan. Be snarky here instead.

The only reason he told you that is to push your buttons. Have you considered hiring someone else to plow for you? Don't tell him, just have it done. You don't need him at all.

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2706 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, January 25th (Saturday)

I would normally give him crickets, but in this case I would let him know that it's been taken care of- even if it hasn't, it would let him know that you're not sitting around waiting for him to rescue you.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, January 25th (Saturday)

"Dear Sir, your services are no longer required. Sincerely, SusanR."

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, January 25th (Saturday)

Part of what he blames his A on is that I didn't make him feel like I needed him. She did. He can go plow her driveway! I bet she would enjoy it. She would tell him how wonderful he is and how lucky I am to have him. She would tell him I don't appreciate him enough. I know. I read her stinkin' emails after he fixed our dryer a few years ago. Apparently, I should have sucked his dick in gratitude. She would have, every day for weeks! Doesn't matter that I washed and dried his damn clothes for 17 years! Snarky, snark, snark!

I like the idea of hiring someone else to do it. We are supposed to get a bunch of snow here this week. If it warms up a little, I'll do it myself. If not, I'm sure there are plenty of other options. I'd like to see the look on his face if he comes by and it's already done! I'm not going to even reply because I have asked him nicely to give me some space. It's so typical of him to ignore my request.

He is supposed to reply to the final draft of our separation agreement by 2//01/2014 or my attorney is going to file for a divorce. She said she has grown weary of his stall tactics. I bet he won't be concerned about my driveway after he gets served.

[This message edited by SusanR at 10:19 AM, January 25th (Saturday)]

Posts: 1952 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

So you probably shouldn't respond with something like:

"I thought I'd made it clear that I no longer needed YOUR services to plow ANYTHING around here."

Ah... The implied meaning would probably fly right past him anyway.

[This message edited by osxgirl at 9:24 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]

Posts: 2405 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

It sucks, Susan. They just say so many snark-worthy things these days. It gets harder and harder to hold our tongues.

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 5:32 AM, January 26th (Sunday)

He texted me again later in the day yesterday to make sure all was okay and ask if we needed anything (I was babysitting our granddaughter). I simply replied, "Nope. We're fine".

I am kinda in a holding pattern until Feb 1. Want to see if he replies to the Separation Agreement or if I have to switch to a divorce action.

I expect big changes after that. One more week. I cried after both times he texted me yesterday. Insists he loves me and deserves a 4th chance to crush me. It's really all about what he needs and wants. He really wants me to need him and is not willing to wait it out. That's part and parcel with his SA.

I definitely need separation. One more week.

Posts: 1952 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, January 26th (Sunday)

There were times ex-shat would offer to help with something around the house after he had left. My reply was always, no thank you, I've got it covered.

You have no idea how much pleasure it gives me to have someone else plow my driveway...when he pulls up in the drive to pick up Teslet for his weekend. I would love to say to him, "See, fucker? It's not rocket science to get someone to plow the driveway, mow the grass, or learn how to powerwash the house and hang Christmas lights."

And yet these OWs fawn over them for doing things that only require a brain stem.

Snark away. But snark away here

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, January 26th (Sunday)

"See, fucker? It's not rocket science to get someone to plow the driveway, mow the grass, or learn how to powerwash the house and hang Christmas lights."

I may need to steal that as my new tag line, Tesla.

Oh, the martyred moaning and groaning which went before and after mowing the grass. Then he wouldn't blow the grass off the drive, it just sat there in big clumps. It was the only thing he did. The lights generally went up a week before Christmas, iif at all. I did everything else, yard and house.

I plowed the driveway because apparently, "it didn't actually need doing, it will melt on its own."

When he left, I actually felt a bit confused about why things didn't feel very much different. Then I realized why: I had been doing everything on my own anyway.

Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, January 26th (Sunday)

Do any of your neighbors have a plow or snowblower? Can you offer them a few $$ to do it (hopefully they will just do it for you)?

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, January 26th (Sunday)

Insists he loves me and deserves a 4th chance to crush me. It's really all about what he needs and wants.
Amen, Susan. It is ALL about him. Sending you strength for this week.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25716 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 12