User Topic: Still with the dreams
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

We have been divorced since June and I still have dreams about him often maybe weekly . We both have new partners I feel my new guy is wonderful to me . So I should not have these dreams

Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 957 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

The subconscious takes a while to catch up. I still have dreams about STBXH. In them, I use him for sex, then bitch him out for 'ruining real life'. Talk about confusing.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Yeah, your brain is just working some things out.

I haven't dreamt of ex-shat in a very, very long time. Until the last 3 night. Ugh.
Processing sucks.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

I still dream about xWH almost 3 years post D. They are about every other week now. I still have ones where I see his face so clearly it's eerie. I don't know if they will ever go away. I don't let them stop my real life though. In most of the latest ones he is so done with OWifetress and biding his time to move on, I can feel how much he actually dislikes her. It's weird.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Dream symbols aren't always literal. It could be that your ex is representing something else in your life, rather than the literal man.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9823 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

I have dreams all the time that XWH is cheating on OW with me.

My latest dream was that she caught him cheating and threw him out. I remember that made me feel so happy in the dream! Then I woke up feeling happy for a few seconds! Until I realized that duh, I just wasted a perfectly good dream on those two assholes!

Another favorite that I had was that XWH cheated on OW with her friend. Now that is one dream I could only wish would come true!

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3400 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Rarely I'll have dreams about him where it's sort of like DDay. I'm trying to explain to him why what he's doing in crazy, why OW can't possibly be a good person, etc. It's like talking to a brick wall in the dream. He doesn't understand me at all. Keeps telling me that I just don't know OW... but that she's "a good one." I tell him she couldn't possibly be.

Last time I had that dream, he was blameshifting in it and telling me that "for the duration of our M," I failed to speak to him "in a courteous tone."

Okay, that sort of made me laugh when I woke up.

But, yeah... that nightmare more or less squares with what it was like IRL on DDay and after.

The other dream I have is of a giant grizzly bear walking down the street our house was on. I stop the car and it is lumbering toward me and our dog. I try to stay still and wait for a chance to speed out of harm's way. But when the grizzly begins to walk past the passenger side (where the dog is), I realize the window is still rolled down. Just as the bear realizes he can grab us, I wake up.

I have no idea what that means. But, based on some details about our M and past vacations, etc., I know it's about him.

[This message edited by PhantomLimb at 6:10 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]

BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

4.5 years out, WXH still shows up in my dreams. I wouldn't say regularly, but often enough that it's super annoying. It's always the same basic scenario. We're together, but I'm wary because of the history, obviously, and then it always ends with him still being involved with OW.

Because it happens often enough, I do wonder what that recurrent theme means for me. I'm certainly not hung up on him and would never want him back. He repulses me, so I hate being the wishy-washy woman in my dreams who seems to actually want him.

3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know."
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Almost all of the dreams that my ex is in are about abandonment. Very rarely, they're about sex. Both are unpleasant.

D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 491 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, January 26th (Sunday)

In my dreams he is always cheating or online emails or seeking out other woman. I get hurt and question him in my dreams. They are always the same . Women .

Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 957 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
Topic Posts: 10