User Topic: Karma is a Bitch
Member # 40115
Happy  Posted: 1:03 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

So STBXH was arrested (see prior thread) and we bailed him out, 'cause I'm awesome that way.

Today the Court website was updated and shows his charges. One count Attempted Solicitation of a Child - Aggrevated Criminal Sexual Abuse, one count Attempted Grooming, and one count Attempted Traveling to Meet a Minor. According to STBXH they were filed at misdemeanors, but according to the state's website, they can all be upped to felonies. He is soooo screwed!

Because of the nature of his crimes, I can't/won't spread this on FB or in RL. My kids could be hurt by that. But here I can share with people who understand the mixed emotions of horror, disgust, and satisfaction.

To my way of thinking, he's being punished for the wrong act. He never met the minor, but he had a LT PA with my XBFF. Now that deserves prosecution. But that's not the way the world works. So I'll take what I can get.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

He is getting exactly what he deserves but it''s not karma, it''s consequences

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Make sure that your lawyer has copies of all of this for the possible time in the future that he decides that he wants to have more custody!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

No, karma would involve not being bailed out when arrested for crimes against children.

I'm sorry this is polluting your life.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8848 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

Here's my male alter-ego reading your post:

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, January 25th (Saturday)

I agree, consequences, not karma. I hope he gets the full punishment allowed by law (in my opinion, the law is pretty soft on sexual crime).

And please, please, please, never bail him out or help him in any way ever again.

3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know."
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, January 26th (Sunday)

I'm starting to realize that I've been so consumed with the double betrayal from his PA with my BFF, and worrying about if he messed with DD that I haven't even really processed his illegal actions. This is really the first outside proof I've had of his Mr. Hyde personality, and it's just like another D-Day. I don't know why I didn't realize that of course he minimized this incident, because he minimized everything else. My only excuse is that I'm overwhelmed with everything, and can only process so much at a time.

I will not bail him out again! My folks have already pointed out that they are done with him. I realized I'm still foggy about STBXH when I spoke with his brother who said "This had better be about the same incident as last time." It didn't even occur to me that it could be another attempt to solicit.

So STBXH has paid us back the bail money. I have notified my lawyer. Now we are waiting for STBXH to plead or be found guilty to file for full legal custody. Reading the actual charges and their definitions is like reading the Divorce filing for the first time. You know what its going to say, but its still a punch in the gut.

Thank you for the gentle 2x4s. I needed them.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, January 26th (Sunday)

(((((Gemini & kids)))))

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, January 26th (Sunday)

He''s not the man you love. That man is a fantasy, not reality.The real man is the one arrested for soliciting a child. Just to reassure you, paedophiles are VERY plausible lovely people on the outside. That''s how they get to abuse. He has gradually and deliberately groomed you for years, it would be remarkable if you could just snap out of it straight away.

So now you''re starting to realise it''s true, deep down. It''s going to hurt a lot. Please don''t beat yourself up for not seeing it and for not really believing it deep down until now. Who would want to believe that anyone they know is capable of this, let alone someone they love? I''m hoping you''re in IC?

I hope he didn''t do anything to your DD. As horrible as it is, you do need to get her checked out.

So many ((hugs)) to you.

Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 1061 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 9