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Reconciliation
User Topic: 180 fail..
EB1541
Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)

Okay so I have been trying the 180 lately and it's been tough for me to stick to it but I have. It's 26 days after dday But now my husband is saying the I am acting like a "dick" and that he feels like I don't appreciate anything he does for me. Idk if I should stop or just keep trying?


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)

Reserving emotional reactions sometimes brings this out in people... but wow. Calling you a "dick"?? If you needed any indication that you need to detach emotionally from him, that would be it. You can be polite to him without serving him cookies and wiping his bottom.

Do the 180 to protect yourself. He's either going to be startled into treating you with more respect, or he's going to spiral into selfishness. Either way, you are doing this to protect your heart and gather your strength.

Regarding your seeming lack of "appreciation" - what exactly is he doing right now that he feels he's earned that? It IS good to indicate when we appreciate the work that our WS is doing, but if he wants you to fawn over things like taking out the garbage or NOT going out to a bar for one night, he's not really in the program.

(((EB1541)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17846 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
EB1541
Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)

Thank you Jrazz! You are right I need to keep doing the 180 to protect myself.

But he says I don't appreciate that he's "trying." He's SAYS I can see his phone or ask him questions whenever I want. But when I actually ask he gets agitated with me. And it's funny you mentioned taking out the garbage because he brought that up yesterday LOL. That was the first time he did in months and I he only did it because I asked and my knee is dislocated right now. But other than than he hasn't done anything... He expects me to constantly thank him for working.. I think he is just acting like a baby. And he is very selfish and it's been showing more lately.


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)

You just got married?


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
EB1541
Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)

Yeah. November 3.


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Topic Posts: 5