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User Topic: Nice Guys Still Finish
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Content  Posted: 9:17 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

My history is documented in a couple of topics on this site. Since Christmas, I've come to realize just how happy I can be on my own. Very short series of events for me that started in August. Still on the D train and there is no turning back. I can say I tried more than most men would have. I ran myself through the ringer and expected to come out the other side with a sense of accomplishment. My problem for the longest was I tried to fix our relationship. Doesn't work when only one person wants to do it. I tried every method you can think of and never truly focused on myself. All the new BS on here should take stock in what our seasoned vets have to say. No one has all the answers, but like me, there where many here who could see the signs and warned me on what could happen.

Tomorrow is my 35th birthday. It's unusual to not share it with the woman I've loved for the last 12 years, but I'm ok with that. I have my children, my job, health, family, and friends. Who could ask for anything more? I still struggle with the A from time to time. It never just goes away and it will take some time before I can not shed a tear. The important part is it doesn't guide my every word or action. I am in control of my emotions and my future. So many times I felt jealous of those who got the gift of R on this site. My entire situation moved at light speed and it seems to be better this way, for me. I can't imagine what you are going through and the struggles that come to both sides. I applaud you and your dedication!

I promise I'm almost done. Haven't been on here like I used to be and I think it's because I'm no longer looking for the magic pill to fix my marriage. There is no pill my friends. Hard work and commitment to the task is required. I wish you all the best of luck and give endless hugs to those who are less fortunate. I promise, it gets better with time! Nice guys don't have to finish last or first, or even second. Sometimes it's just important that you finish.

[This message edited by No12turn2 at 9:22 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)]


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

No12turn2, I had a very similar experience through this as well. Lots of truth in your post. I am glad you are doing better.

but I'm ok with that. I have my children, my job, health, family, and friends. Who could ask for anything more?
Great feeling when you can look back and put things in perspective. The truly important things always find there way to the top eventually.

I still struggle with the A from time to time. It never just goes away and it will take some time before I can not shed a tear.
This gets better as well. Keep on the path you are on. Focus on what's important to you and enjoy your new beginning.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1905 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52329 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

I found so much strength in the words spoken to me here. Not always as they were posted, but I reflected on the advice given on a regular basis. I am externally grateful to have found this site! Thanks to all!


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
Monsterslayer
Member
Member # 23360
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

One thing that seems hard for many BS to get is that no matter how bad you want it or how hard you try... It takes two! Good for you that you get it. I'm sorry for your loss, but you sound like you get it and that's cool. God bless No12turn2!


Me BH 49 her FWW 49
Dday June 2, 08
Married 22 yrs at time of A

Posts: 197 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Canada
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

Thanks!


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

This is awesome to read. I am excited for you when I think about all the opportunities for growth and happiness ahead in your life. It gives me hope for myself too! Yes, we had our heads in the sand...but we can pull them out eventually and get on with the business of healing ourselves. Congratulations for your hard-won freedom, and enjoy every second of it.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

nora,
You words have touched me. I can't thank you enough for your support. I know you will find peace in your life as well. STAY STRONG.

HUGS


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
1owner
Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

Your post is encouraging to read. I'm glad for you that you have gotten to where you are.

Hope you have a good birthday tomorrow!


Posts: 198 | Registered: Oct 2013
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)

Thanks lowner. I know you will share this feeling with us one day.


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
Topic Posts: 10