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The Book Club
User Topic: Getting Even: Forgiveness and Its Limits
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, January 30th (Thursday)

An interesting take, interesting and worth skimming for those who struggle with the need to take the "higher road."


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, January 31st (Friday)

This looks like something I can get behind....good stuff?


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, January 31st (Friday)

I've only started it. It's fairly academic and it's philosophy, so it's nothing definitive, but rather about "on the one hand, but on the other hand." But for "nice" folks like me, it's good ethical food for thought. the author is a professor of criminal law so it's written from that viewpoint, although he seems to touch on how these ethics can affect private law (and situations of betrayal) as well.

I wanted something meaty, above pop psych, to dig into. This book seems to mostly support the moral and even psychological right to retributive justice (at the societal, not necessarily personal, level), although in reading snippets of his later work, it seems his stance has mellowed to higher levels of forgiveness.

I'm not sure yet how i will ultimately feel about this book, but so far it's interesting...


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, January 31st (Friday)

I bought it.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, January 31st (Friday)

Wow! Our own little book club! : )

Hope to hear your opinions on the book! Will have to seek out your story too!


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, January 31st (Friday)

yeah....I'll start soon, let you know what I think.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
mainlyinpain
Member
Member # 39134
Wink  Posted: 11:34 PM, January 31st (Friday)

I looked the book up on Amazon.....
and so had to laugh when I saw this in the middle of the page....
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Diabolical Revenge & Sabotage by anonymous
Kindle Edition
5.0 out of 5 stars (1)
$2.99

Can't decide which one is more appealing...no, I know


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 496 | Registered: Apr 2013
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, January 31st (Friday)

okay that one is so worth a picture!

This definitely appeals to my black humor... or should it be gallows humor?... coping mechanism, and reminds me of when I was the star of my own little horror movie!


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

Wait....there are books on how to do this....oh, hell....


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
mainlyinpain
Member
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Reading is FUNdamental


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 496 | Registered: Apr 2013
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, March 27th (Thursday)

About halfway through the book.....really digging it so far.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Dawn58
Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, March 28th (Friday)

Just ordered the book, looks like something I can definitely relate too!


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 484 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, April 15th (Tuesday)

hey there Ascendant,

i've been not active on SI for a while, saw that you had read this book, or much of it. did it help you at all in some way? Would love to know. I wound up dabbling in other stuff and have been all over the map. Too bad about my little book club idea here, my intention was good but my follow through, not so good! Hope you're doing okay!


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, April 16th (Wednesday)

Mmmm....I don't know if 'help' is the right word...it certainly provides several reasons why revenge could be a healthy idea, as well as hard-earned forgiveness. Forgiveness for the spouse and/or the AP needs to come only after they've earned it; giving forgiveness too easily cheapens it. I'm not quite done with it yet, but I'm getting there. I'll write a full report once I finish.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Topic Posts: 14