User Topic: what I can figure this out
Member # 37664
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, January 31st (Friday)

My WS after years of A has still stuck to this premises. " I was lonely and needed attention " . It just drives me crazy because I want to hear . I was selfish and not caring about you and the children . Its like she gives her self a excuse not to take responsible for her actions .Does your WS do this ?

married 28 yrs
Kid's -2
A- several
DD- 12-10-12
Starting recovery

"I don't understand the world today I don't understand what she needs I gave her everything she threw it all away" tom petty

Posts: 216 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Los Angeles
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, January 31st (Friday)

I'm less concerned with the 'why' than with what my W is doing to change. If your W is taking her insight and learning how to validate herself and not seek external validation, for example, she's making a good change.

Also, you may want a specific answer, but you're not her, and she's not you, which makes it likely she'll give a different answer than you would.

What changes has she making? Is she committed to further change?

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10352 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Topic Posts: 2