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Reconciliation
User Topic: I gots locked up in a psych ward
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

***note, my husbands name is not Jake, but because my user name is from 16 candles, when I blog hes "Jake Ryan"

Hey guys, sorry I was MIA this week.

I had a huge anxiety episode last Sunday.† Few different triggers, but we think the biggest is the anniversary of my biological fatherís death coming up, Jakeís job change, and just some issues I have feeling rejected (my perception, nothing he is doing).† I also had a horrific migraine which made the anxiety a lot worse.

I ended up going to the hospital Sunday morning, because the pain was so bad.† While there, I basically lost it.† Just sobbing, etc.

They sent in a social worker to see me and talk to me.† I spilled everything.† EVERYTHING.† She was so nice.
She asked me if I felt I would benefit from going to a psychiatric hospital for a few days, to get some INTENSIVE therapy, get some med changes with a psychiatrist, and just to get a break for a bit.

I think I may have jumped at the opportunity.† I was such an emotional mess it wasnít even funny.† So they sent me to a really great facility about 100 miles from where I live.† I was treated with dignity, respect and validated.† I participated FULLY in everything, just trying to soak up as much as I could.

Only bummer was when we had one long break in the afternoon, I apparently fell asleep during an SVU marathon and was snoring, loudly and I believe, from what two patients were teasing about, I farted a few times.† *snicker*† I did have a great roommate, the other patients were great.† It was wonderful being to talk openly, without fear of being looked down on.† The therapists there were AMAZING.

I met with my psychiatrist every day, they did adjust my meds, added two new ones.† I had a great therapist there, who spent 2 hours with me on one day.† The group therapies were great as were the activity therapies.† I felt like hell Sunday night going in, Monday wasnít much better, but by Tuesday,†Jake said I sounded like the old me again.

Itís not something I ever thought Iíd *want* to do, but I was desperate at the moment Sunday, and Iím so glad I did.† I went voluntarily, and I got a lot out of it, especially coping skills.

They released me yesterday.† I have therapy appointments set up already for myself, and an appointment with my new psychiatrist.

I had no cell phone or internet access in there, hence my inability to get online.

Jake has been absolutely amazing through all of this.† So supportive and just wanted to see me get help so I can get better and move forward with my healing process.
I have to say, I met some great people, some kind of weird folk (OMG, LOL).† The food was pretty damn good, but they fed us so much I think I gained 10 pounds.† I got to get back into Yoga, which Iím going to continue because I felt great doing it.† Iím all zen now, LOL.

So Iím back, Iím feeling 1000 times better, and Iíve got a great plan moving forward.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Good for you!!!!

When I subpoenaed and received the 12,000 text messages between my husband and the human mattress, I drove right away to a treatment center/psych hospital. This was during the divorce, so I asked to be put in their 3 week outpatient program 9-5 m-s so that my WS would not find out.

OMG It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Like you said, the professionalism and the reality from the therapists is so helpful! Several people in my group were there because of spousal infidelity! Only one person was a little wierd and they moved him to a different group. Other than that, we were moms, a grandparent who lost a grandchild suddenly, a cop, a couple of coke addicts in recovery, etc.

So, yay to you for posting this,,, it helped me really survive and gave me some great tools to use in my life!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1955 | Registered: Jan 2012
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Thank you so much for sharing this, SB. I think that there are a lot of people who are afraid of clinical assistance - even a doctor's visit. Hopefully your story will inspire some people to reach out and get the help they deserve.

You're so in tune with your needs - I'm thrilled for you that you were open to getting this kind of help.

I'm especially glad that you're feeling better.

(((SamanthaBaker)))

[This message edited by Jrazz at 12:49 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16297 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
OnAnIsland
Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Samantha, I am so glad that you were able to get help that you needed. Thanks for sharing. And keep taking care of yourself. oai

[This message edited by OnAnIsland at 12:55 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1477 | Registered: Dec 2011
Melian40
Member
Member # 41205
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Glad you are doing OK!
Sometimes we don't ask profesional help because we think we can do it alone. Medication and profesional help can do wonders. Once someone can find his/her balance and strength then they can start thinking clearly and make the right choices for themselves.


BW-me:40
BH-him:41
DD-age 9
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"


Posts: 151 | Registered: Nov 2013
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

I'm so glad you took advantage of this help and you're feeling better.
Hugs!!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ďSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4470 | Registered: Dec 2010
KatyDo
Member
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Congrats for taking care of yourself in this way. So inspiring. Sometimes in those states it's hard to know what to do, so this is an example of what is good to do! Thank you!


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 181 | Registered: Nov 2013
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Thanks guys. I was scared to death to be honest, but the sane part of me knew I had to go. The first night and first Fay were hard and overwhelming. But then I met a friend, who lives in my area. We are being supportive to each other too. The patients were great, except for a couple. I know it was the right thing to do. I'm not ashamed rather empowered I went.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Crushed15Feb13
Member
Member # 38846
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

Glad to hear things worked out, that DOES sound scary.

I second the benefits of Yoga - I was off during the day 3 days last week, so I went to a Yoga class each day, and the calming and clarifying affect on my thinking was obvious.

Good for you!


Me: BH, 54
Her: WW, 54 4 yr LTA
Married 31 yrs, 2 college age boys
DDay #1: 15Feb13 - LTA 2008-2013
DDay #2: 27Jan14 - ONS, same AP 2007 - turns out it was a 5 yr LTA
Trying to understand

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2013
purplejacket4
Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

That is fantastic!

Areyou in the US?

Most mental health facilities are so strained here in the great southwest you can't get admitted unless you're psychotic or acutely suicidal (and I mean you have to practically hold a gun on yourself). I am so pleased for you.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 10:37 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2069 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, February 1st (Saturday)

So glad you got the support and help you were needing, Samantha. And even more glad that Jake was there for you in such a wonderful way. What a positive and uplifting post.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24379 | Registered: Aug 2011
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, February 2nd (Sunday)


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9732 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, February 2nd (Sunday)

She asked me if I felt I would benefit from going to a psychiatric hospital for a few days, to get some INTENSIVE therapy, get some med changes with a psychiatrist, and just to get a break for a bit.
This sounds so therapeutic. Glad that you got some sort of mental recuperation time.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1911 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, February 2nd (Sunday)

I'm in Virginia Dr. PJ. I did have to go 100 miles away, but I didn't even care, lol


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
cl131716
Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)

Do these programs generally cost anything or are they covered by insurance? I have often thought about doing an outpatient program. We have been unable to get the help I need due to finances. We will get insurance in a month but I'm not sure it covers everything.

I think I may suffer from PTSD. Most days it is very difficult to function.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)

Our insurance is covering it. We have bc/bs.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)

Congrats Sam. Taking control of your well being is a huge step in healing and becoming an independently happy person which can only make your relationship stronger.

Most commercial insurance cover intensive outpatient treatment for specific diagnosis, usually severe depression coupled with anxiety disorder will get it done but "behavioral health" is tricky so check your benefits.
Inpatient treatment where you go and stay is much less common and usually reserved for suicidal and completely blato patients (you know so far gone they don't realize they are a danger to themselves).

It is unfortunate that there is no longer insurance coverage for mental health, that disappeared in the 90s when insurance cos realized inpatient treatment for alcohol and drug abuse did not work and there were frequent repeat offenders.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)

I was diagnosed with "major depressive disorder" aka nice way of saying bipolar.

I'm asking the psychiatrist to assess me thoroughly.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Major Depressive Disorder is not the same as bipolar. At least not in the world I work in.

They are very different.

Be very proud of what you have done for yourself though Sam. Continue to get the help you need.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Thank you!


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

Ins coverage: In my case,the treatment center is like all other businesses and hurting for $$. So, they took me in a little room, and a lady got my ins card and pre cert me. They let me sign up w/o paying anything! They figured they would get the ins. money for sure, and then they told me I could make payment arrangements on the rest after ins paid. However it was in Sept, so I had met some of my deductible. They said if I had not met some of my deductible then they would require that to be paid up front....

Really really helped me!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1955 | Registered: Jan 2012
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

The help I received from the psych ward was some of the best help I have ever received post Dday. They literally saved my life! I am really happy that the experience was beneficial for you Samantha.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
lovedmesomehim
Member
Member # 25743
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

Hi Samantha!

I was away from the board and just saw your news and update.

I am very proud of you for taking a step toward peace within yourself. Good for you!!!!

Keep moving forward. Continue to get all of the support and help that you need.

You "look" good, too!


Posts: 456 | Registered: Oct 2009
MrsDoubtfire
Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, February 7th (Friday)

Well done you for getting help and I think it is great that you shared such a positive week whilst you were there.

It takes a strong woman to crumble, admit she needs help then uses that help to get her bitch boots back on once more.

You're stronger than you know. Well done and here's to a stronger, more capable Sam on the other side of this experience.


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeÜ

Posts: 1562 | Registered: Jul 2009
Topic Posts: 24