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User Topic: Your thoughts on a trip to Las Vegas
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, February 3rd (Monday)

What are your thoughts on your WS going off to Las Vegas with a bunch of same sex friends? In my case other guy friends. Ones who are also married, but who get really drunk and watch strippers, and invite other random woman around the pool to join them in the $1800.00 dollar cabana they rented. (this happened the last time all these men got together) They now want my WH to join them this time.

I am uncomfortable with it, one because I just don't feel Las Vegas (sin city) is a good place for married or committed men to go without their wives or girlfriend, and two because my WH has cheated on me. It was with the same woman twice, not with random women and we are in a different place then we were even a month ago. But I am still having a hard time trusting him.

I told him if he really wants to go, then he should go. I also have told him my concerns and how I feel about it.

I am curious what others feel about these situations.


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
Raven96
Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, February 3rd (Monday)

No way. He shouldn't even be considering it out of respect for you.


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
Cookie7088
Member
Member # 30038
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

"Ones who are also married, but who get really drunk and watch strippers, and invite other random woman around the pool to join them in the $1800.00 dollar cabana they rented."

Yes, please...one vote to the "HELL NO" catgory!


Posts: 671 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: U.S.
KatieG
Member
Member # 41222
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Not so soon. If you feel uncomfortable and he wants to R he should respect your feelings.
Can you imagine what you be feeling/thinking while he is away? That would be unfair of him to put you in that situation, you cannot know what he is doing 24 hours a day.


DD#1 - 6th Oct 13 - TT
DD#2 - 9th Nov 13 - Full disclosure
DD#3 - 12th May 14 - FOG lifted and in R
7 week A, 2 weeks together, rest phone and email - PA and EA

Posts: 491 | Registered: Nov 2013
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Why don't you go with him??

Otherwise a big ol' NO!

Does he 'get' that you will not feel comfortable the whole time he will be gone?

I get that you don't feel great telling a grown man what to do...but with his track record he should be making a big show out of NOT going.

JMHO


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Personally, I'd be pissed he even thought it was a possibility. To my mind - he's proven he can't handle that kind of "independence".


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4152 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
cl131716
Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No way. It wouldn't even be an option.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Yeah... NOPE! FWH's friends keep pressuring him to go on weekend trips like he used to. Fucking, NOPE. He was lucky he got to go after dday1. Now... NOPE. knowing that the "curiosity" with strippers and escorts started on one of those weekend trips. Fuck to the no.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

unless my husband is going fishing in Canada with the guys in a remote location, there will be no guys week out.
The other poster is correct in that he lost that right when he cheated.
I'm also a former WW and my life is different now because of what I did. No nights apart.
Also, he needs to reevaluate this friendship group.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5320 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Lonelygirl10
Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No way. I think I would be upset if my guy even asked to go to Vegas on a guys trip that involves strippers after he cheated on me.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1224 | Registered: Jul 2013
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Vegas=Sex


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2645 | Registered: Aug 2012
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

What Chicho said.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17889 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Getting to Happy,
Why don't you go with him??

He would actually like me to go with him, but none of the other men are taking their wives. Or even thought about inviting their wives along. So..

I have talked about how I feel and that I don't like it and how I would be nervous he might get super drunk with the other guys and some girl might come onto him and who knows what will happen. He says " I wouldn't let myself get that drunk like they do" Hahaha, yeah right! This I do not believe at all! He did say, he wants us and is not looking for anyone else. Heard that before too. :(

He is very handsome and charming and woman are drawn to him. He talks very easily with the opposite sex. These men friends he is going with, I don't trust them, well most of them. This group of friends away from their wives, makes me really uneasy having my husband going with them.

I will not be telling him what he should do. This is on him to make the decision. I will tell him one more time how it makes me nervous and anxious and leave it in his hands to do what he wants to do.

We also rarely ever go on trips together. About once a year due to money, and time off work. So that is another issue for me. If we don't have the money to spend on a nice trip for us as a couple together to get away, I feel he shouldn't be spending it on this trip. It will be expensive, the way these friends he will be going with spend money. If he and I had plenty of money to go on other trips together, this part would not be an issue for me. A trip for us together would be so much more healing for our marriage then this trip for him alone with his buddies In Las Vegas, while I sit at home nervous about what he is doing.


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
lordhasaplan?
Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

I am uncomfortable with it,

'
That is all that needs to be said. As such he should not take the trip or take you along.


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1911 | Registered: Nov 2010
realitybites
Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Have YOU ever gone on a trip on your own? I am not saying this is the answer to his trip but I just want to know if you ever taken any personal time just for you?

I just find it interesting how he has no problem carving out personal time to have fun with his friends....and a trip to Vegas to boot. So what do you do for yourself?


Posts: 5684 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
WarpSpeed
Member
Member # 32051
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

We also rarely ever go on trips together. About once a year due to money, and time off work. So that is another issue for me. If we don't have the money to spend on a nice trip for us as a couple together to get away, I feel he shouldn't be spending it on this trip.

I would communicate this to him. Tell him you'd rather take this vacation time and money and invest it in the marriage with a trip you two enjoy together. Talk to him.

best luck


Me: BS (51)
Her: fWW (50)
Married 27 years
Two sons in college
Empty closet and note on bed Jan 2010, She filed for D Mar 2010, D final May 2010, Actually had D-Day and found out why it all happened July 2010. Remarried on 23rd Anniv Aug 2010

Posts: 1500 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas
Sal1995
Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No way


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

NOPE
NUUH
NO WAY
NOT GONNA HAPPEN
NOT IN THIS LIFETIME
NEIN
NONE
And any other way you can think of saying NO


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8738 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
FightingBack
Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

I just cannot believe that your H would even consider going on such a trip again EVER.

And I also can't believe this.

I told him if he really wants to go, then he should go

Do you really mean this?


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 785 | Registered: Feb 2012
BeyondBreaking
Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

NOPE.

If my husband even ASKED to go on a trip like this, it would cause a fight.

Obviously you are not your husband's mother, and if he wants to go, he will go. However you certainly have the right to establish boundaries you are comfortable with, and you have the right to choose not to be with someone who is continually lying, cheating, and disrespecting your boundaries.

Essentially, him deciding to go is him saying a big fat, "I don't care" to your feelings.

Additionally, it is him continuing to selfishly choose himself, his wants, and his "fun" as a priority over you, your feelings, and your marriage.

If my husband insisted and insisted...I probably wouldn't be able to physically stop him from going. But he certainly wouldn't be coming home to me afterwards.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

..
If we don't have the money to spend on a nice trip for us as a couple together to get away, I feel he shouldn't be spending it on this trip. It will be expensive, the way these friends he will be going with spend money. If he and I had plenty of money to go on other trips together, this part would not be an issue for me. A trip for us together would be so much more healing for our marriage then this trip for him alone with his buddies In Las Vegas, while I sit at home nervous about what he is doing.

..that's reason enough right there!!

..you should be his "TOP" priority for his next vacation plans..

..he's giving you zero consideration and even less respect by even asking if he can bugger off to Vegas with his 'buddies' and blow a huge wad of $$$CASH$$$ on gambling, and possibly girls ..

..put the 'kyebosh' (no idea if this is spelled correctly!) on any vacations that don't involve you!!!!

..sorry, but your H is a dick for even suggesting he might go..

smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 1:25 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

IMHO, If he were remorseful he'd take "I am not comfortable" and stay home... or

A trip for us together would be so much more healing for our marriage then this trip for him alone with his buddies In Las Vegas, while I sit at home nervous about what he is doing.

That should be his first priority.

Clearly, for these men, this trip is a vacation from their marriages. And NOPE.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
NoMorDeceit
Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No. Strippers? Random women to "hang" out with and drink all day by a pool? These are married men?

No. No. and No. If he wants to behave as if he is single, than he needs to be single to do so. If he hangs with a group of men that are married to women who have no issue being disrespected in that way, so be it. You do not have to be one of them.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 543 | Registered: Apr 2009
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No.

No way.

Oh hell no.

If you go, don't come home.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9851 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

I told him if he really wants to go, then he should go

Do you really mean this?

More that I am not going to tell a grown man what to do or not do. I don't want to play his mother or keeper.

I have told him my concerns and that I still don't trust him, and that this trip makes me very anxious just talking about it. I told him this morning, taking a trip together would be more healing for our marriage then him going with his buddies to Las Vegas. His friends are texting and pushing him into going, even said he had a free room to stay in. They really want him to go. I understand the desire to go, as the trip sounded like they had a blast last time!! Too much of a blast for my liking for married men!!

I feel this decision needs to be on him. I am hoping he makes the right one, even if his friends give him lots of crap for it! He choose to cheat on me and I feel his choices change a lot of things these days!

Have YOU ever gone on a trip on your own?
I only went to my mothers and actually not alone as I took my 8 year old daughter with me. It was because I needed some time away from him and his lies at the time. I felt like his TT at the time was slowly killing me! Other then that, I never felt I needed to take trips without my WH. Why would I need to, when I enjoyed our trips together so much.

Although I feel we are finally on the right path to R, I still do not trust my husband and he has lied to me so easily for so long, over so many years, I just know I would not be able to believe a word he said about this trip, even if it was the truth he was telling me. He trained me not to be able to believe a word he says, because of all the lies for so long! Why have that anxiety in our lives from this trip. Right!


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
undertherug
Member
Member # 41580
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

julesinpain -- ditto what Beyond Breaking said. That he would even CONSIDER such a trip seems very disrespectful. If he can't say no to his friends who are pressuring him to take this trip, how can he say no to whatever they propose once he gets there?

Posts: 66 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
FightingBack
Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Jules, I understand that you don't want to take on a mother role with your H. By you leaving the decision to go or not will be indicative of his commitment to R.

It seems like you have made it clear to him how you feel. Are you prepared for whatever decision he makes?

I agree that the decision is his ultimately. I hope he makes the correct one. For all of your sakes.

I guess this will be an opportunity to observe actions, not just words.


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 785 | Registered: Feb 2012
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

fWH's friends are laying it on thick over the hobby convention, too. Now using guilt... "We can't afford the hotel room without you..." Too fucking bad. If he wants to go be single that weekend... then he can be single permanently. I'm tired of being the only one married full time. I don't think I will ever be comfortable with separate vacations again.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
realitybites
Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

I never felt I needed to take trips without my WH. Why would I need to, when I enjoyed our trips together so much.

My insistance in asking you this with all due respect is just to see how lopsided this relationship is....and again its hard to really look at these things up close. I can remember my T at the time asking me if I ever did anything just for me, just for myself and I also felt the same as you...and my T kept pushing me saying "can you book a trip right now just for you to take time for you?" and I really just could not do it. It did not make sense to me to do things only for myself.

Again....I do not in any way think he should be going to Vegas with the boys, I just want you to see how lopsided this whole thing is and what would he do (not that you will do it) if you just said you wanted to go to Vegas with a bunch of girlfriends?

And I understand how you don't want to be his mother...that if he chooses to go that is on him, but to what consequences? Or are you just going to be mad about it?

Again, I know these are hard questions because right now you feel you can't enforce what you want because it would mean HE makes the right choice....or YOU would have to make hard decisions for yourself. Its not fair....and its not easy.


Posts: 5684 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
1devastedmom
Member
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Hell no! If my husband even asked I'd tell him to pack his shit and get the fuck out. He already knows there will be no boys only trips, no trips to Vegas, no bachelor parties I don't care if he's the best man too bad.


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 140 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No bachelor parties

"Why?" "Because bachelor parties for for bachelors, and you, sir, are not a bachelor. Something you have a habit of forgetting"


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Whalers11
Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

No way.

If he weren't a WS, I would feel differently.

But if my WS thought this was a good idea, for even one second, there would be much larger issues to deal with.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2262 | Registered: Feb 2010
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

UPDATE: although he most likely shouldn't have even thought about going in the first place, he just came home for lunch so we could talk about it.

He said "I understand why you don't want me to go and I will not be going" " I know I brought this on myself" Yea! He is finally getting it!

We talked a little more about it and I thanked him for coming home to talk with me and for not going. I feel much better already!! The guys will hound him and give him crap, but It was great he put my feelings over his about going and not caring what they think. Only one of them knows about his affair.

Thank you everyone for your input and helping me understand that I am not to feel guilty for not wanting him to go on this trip. I appreciate your help!


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Yay for Mr. JIP!


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
scarednbroken
Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Absolutely not. If your WH is temptable that is a place full of it. We lived there for a year. There is literally sex on every street corner, billboards feature naked girls (yes!!!!!), and I think prostitution is actually legal... It is not the place for a man or woman who is prone to straying and is reconciling... When we lived there my WH loved it. He worked two jobs, and lied about taking time off to spend with his "interests." This was when I was pregnant with my now DD15.

If he is asking, I would say, No. Too much temptation. If he is upset you don't trust him, well... I'd apologize and say you have a good reason.

Good luck.


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
BeyondBreaking
Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Excellent update!

Hopefully next time, he won't even have to ask.

My husband has three friends who are getting married this year. At this point- he already knows how I feel about bachelor parties and I would be really surprised if he even asked.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Razor
Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

If WW asked to do this I would tell her to have a good time. And NOT COME BACK.

Deal breaker.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Wow. Your H's friends sound like some of my H's friends. Golfing in Ireland! A guys "weekend" in Florida! What are you? A pussy? That sort of crap! And we are the same age too. Grow up!

I am glad he is not going jules.

Like you, I don't want to "play mommy". I would like to say, "this makes me feel uncomfortable" and he then says, "you knows what? I was an ass for even asking." But I have realized that I need to say No, more. And that's okay.

Yesterday he declined a superbowl party at a known pot head's place. He said he wanted to be at home with me.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2481 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
totallyconfused1
Member
Member # 42030
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

I'm glad you got the answer you were looking for.

I would definitely not be comfortable with my spouse going on a Vegas weekend.

The only thing he's allowed to go away to is a golf weekend as long as it's with our best friends husbands' whom I love and trust. Anything else is definitely off the table, and I would be pissed if he even asked.


Me - BS
Him - WS
DD Jan 8 2014

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014
purplejacket4
Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, February 3rd (Monday)

Nope.

Too much booze, gambling, booze, hookers, booze, peep shows and booze.

I just got back from there (medical conference) and it's still the hell hole I remember.

There are MANY other placed they could choose to go.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 7:06 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Spelljean
Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, February 4th (Tuesday)

Even IF my husband wasn't a WH, I STILL wouldn't like the idea. I would go along too, and would insist on a separate room for he and I.

They are not pack wolves. They do not need guy's weekends. As much as they think they do, they really don't.



WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Sal1995
Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, February 5th (Wednesday)

They are not pack wolves. They do not need guy's weekends. As much as they think they do, they really don't.

Agree. And up until last year I took yearly guy's weekends, out-of-town. This started years before she betrayed me. Never once cheated on my wife, but it probably didn't send the best message to her about my commitment and desire to be with her and the kids.

Whether you are a man or a woman, at some point we all need to grow up and stop pretending that we're young, single, and on Spring Break.


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, February 5th (Wednesday)

Hell no! End of story.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
OnAnIsland
Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, February 5th (Wednesday)

no, no , no.
glad he figured it out.

you and your m need to be the priority. save those pennies and vacation days for you two.


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1479 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 44