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Reconciliation
User Topic: random thoughts on the fall out of affairs -
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

I was talking a few days ago with the only friend who knows about wh and chickie. She is sadly well acquainted with husbands and affairs. One of the things we talked about was our children. She said that while the affair/divorce was horrible, that she has her children's hearts. Her XWH sees them when it is required and even then the children argue about going and always end up home early. I thought about that today when one of mine called me. My children call ME first. I often have to tell them to call their father (and we are working on our marriage). They saw what happened. They looked and saw who had integrity and who would keep THEM safe. NOT that wh would ever hurt them, but they saw him hurt ME (emotionally).

I don't even think it is the Mom factor as we have a friend whose wife left him and his children go to HIM. HE is the safe one.

Sad.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 426 | Registered: Jan 2013
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

Affairs cause so much collateral damage. The ripple effects go on and on, but the hurting of the children is by far the worst.

My kids don't know what happened but they see a change in me. They are more protective of me (not against H, just in general), they are always making sure I'm "OK" and hugging me, reminding me to eat. It's sweet but it breaks my heart.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 883 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
lostinthesouth
Member
Member # 41377
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

@Morhurt
Affairs cause so much collateral damage. The ripple effects go on and on, but the hurting of the children is by far the worst.
This is what scares me to death because my children witnessed the nuclear bomb that was set off. It makes me very very sad. I read Yearsofpain story and I just wanted to cry the entire time reading it and the consequences to the children from the fallout from his mothers A. I hope and pray for my girls for stability in their future, hope they don't end up with FOO issues that cause them to act out, and for love and communication in their future marriage. I feel my girls have aged before they should have and carry the questions of "what will happen next" on their shoulders and see them out of the corner of my eye watching us parents and what we are doing or if mommy is going to stay in the room all night, etc. That makes me want to cry because they sure in the hell didn't ask for any of this or deserve it.

Posts: 98 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 3