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Reconciliation
User Topic: Really??? (M-I-L vent)
creativecat
Member
Member # 41728
Revenge  Posted: 3:18 PM, February 8th (Saturday)

So my m-i-l (who certainly knows nothing of our situation--lots of porn and inappropriate pics from FB) called yesterday, and fWH was unloading groceries, so I chatted with her for a minute, and she tells me she's been going through all these old boxes in her garage, and WHAT did she find? A whole bunch of pictures of fWH's ex-girlfriends!

How...special? Thoughtful? Ummmmm...how exactly does she expect me to react?

So she tells me she's going to put them into albums with a bunch of other old family photos...unless *I* want them???!!! Uh, no thanks, I tell her...we have absolutely no use for those right now. She then tells me that she made my f-i-l BURN his old girlfriends' pictures about 5 years into their M!! So I said, "Well, on second thought then...maybe you SHOULD send them to me!"

FWH walks in at this point, so I put him on the phone, knowing full well what she is going to tell him...and I just stand there to watch the expression on his face, but I walked away before I heard his response to her. When he got off the phone, I said, "Remember, I'm the one who gets the mail!"

Then he took me in his arms and said "Your pictures are the only ones I want or need." And for once, I truly believed him a teeny tiny little bit, and was able to accept that statement happily, without thinking something snarky about his behavior in the past. Some definite healing on my part!


Posts: 87 | Registered: Dec 2013
momentintime
Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, February 9th (Sunday)

Just wanted to let you know you were heard. He did it right. You both are moving forward.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2901 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, February 9th (Sunday)

what is it with these women! At Christmas My MIL brought out WH's prom photo. She was a pretty girl, tall & thin.

Id seen it a few times (been with WH over 15 years, so they have brought out the photo album a few times) EACH time, even after the affair, my MIL says, "That's Billy and 'Drop Dead Gorgeous" Ok, she is pretty. But "Drop Dead Gorgeous" come on! Her name is Amy and she is now a soccer mom in Des Moines!


Then he took me in his arms and said "Your pictures are the only ones I want or need." And for once, I truly believed him a teeny tiny little bit, and was able to accept that statement happily, without thinking something snarky about his behavior in the past. Some definite healing on my part!
Good Job to your husband! I see some healing

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 6:16 AM, February 9th (Sunday)]


Posts: 1332 | Registered: Jan 2010
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, February 9th (Sunday)


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, February 9th (Sunday)

Again, don't even get me started!


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Dec 2012
womaninflux
Member
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, February 9th (Sunday)

That sounds like something my clueless MIL would do. But glad your husband responded the way he did. Absolutely burn or shred that sh*t when it arrives.


My MIL knows ALL about my SAWH's affair and early exposure to porn. She told me she remembers when my husband was 10 or 12 and came home and mentioned that when he was at his friend's house he saw some "magazines." I asked her what she did about it and she said "nothing because by then they had already seen it." Oh really? So, no talk about how that is not appropriate or no phone call over there to talk to the parents? Nope! My very passive /avoidant MIL, who is a psychiatrist by the way, took NO action whatsoever. At the conclusion of that weekend's visit in my own home, she stood in the entrance and said "you'll get over it" to me. Did I mention she is a psychiatrist? Oh and then my OWN mother said to me when I told her that, "Well, I think she is right." WTF? I got it from all angles.

In a subsequent conversation my MIL said to me that it seems like I am trying to blame my husband's childhood for all of the trouble I am experiencing now. YEP! Did I mention that she is a psychiatrist?


BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 855 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 6