Just Found Out
User Topic: One step forward, three backward
New Member
Member # 42358
Question  Posted: 8:33 PM, February 9th (Sunday)

WS quit job. (AP was boss.)

WS issued NC to boss.

WS built a list of communication tools (email, social media).

WS was supposed to call an IC.

The list of communication methods was incomplete, so I asked for the rest. No IC appointment scheduled.

That night, WS went apeshit, saying it was my fault and wouldn't provide information because "I never loved enough."

I packed WS bag and locked the door.

It gets worse.

My family sided with WS. Took WS in. Told me I was imaging things because WS went back to saying "nothing happened" and I imagined the EA.

Cause not wearing your wedding ring, telling your BS that they are stupid and ugly ccompared to AP and planning Valentine's day with the AP is normal marital behavior.

Now WS is back wanting to R and like a weakling, I accepted. 12 hours later, "nothing happened" and "it was about money" and "BS should take part of the responsibility."

I am a fool. WS is out with God knows who. I will be locking myself in. Painted a reminder piece of art.

Don't be stupid like me. 180 for 6 months. No ifs ands or bytes.

And cheaters tell the truth.

Posts: 34 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: forwardfromhere
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, February 9th (Sunday)


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, February 9th (Sunday)

I''d cut contact with my family for awhile if they did that to me. Maybe write them a letter explaining exactly what happened and how their lack of support made an already horrible experience even worse.

D final 8/2012

Posts: 4000 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
New Member
Member # 42358
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, February 9th (Sunday)

Definitely cutting contact but they don't believe me so I'm afraid the letter would be more painful than useful. Gaming on by my toenails until my IC appt. The bloodtest from the STD panel left a huge and painful.bruise. i keep poking it because it hurts less and distracts from the real pain.

Posts: 34 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: forwardfromhere
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, February 10th (Monday)

I'm so sorry. At least you can be proud of yourself for knowing your limit and not letting him overstep it. Sending you strength to follow your path regardless what family or your WS say.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, February 10th (Monday)

You need to expose this A out of the water.

CONTACT THE HR DEPARTMENT and the shyte will soon hit the fan. Stand back and watch the excitement when AP is fired and contacts your WS.

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, February 10th (Monday)

Hugs to you. He's hiding, plain and simple. Whether he's still in contact with AP, who knows, but he's not ready to face the reality that the A was HIS CHOICE. No R til he can wrap his brain around that fact and is ready to come completely clean, no matter the consequences.

I know you probably don't feel like you are, but you are so strong.

BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 554 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 7