Just Found Out
User Topic: Not surprised to be here again
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, February 10th (Monday)

So here I am again. My second DDay was Saturday. Things haven't been good between us and I had hoped that with MC they could be saved. I just told him we needed to talk about going agin 3 days prior to me finding out. Apparently WH did/does not. I so wish I had done things differently the first time this happened. Either we would have already divorced or maybe it would have not happened again. I have learned though (while I have to own things that are mine that made my marriage crumble) that until WH figures out why he keeps having EA our marriage won't

He doesn't believe that IC will help him and I can't do this again. I can't believe my marriage is over. I miss him already and the kids and I haven't even moved out yet.

I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 330 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, February 10th (Monday)

I'm so sorry. In my case, the second DDay was painful but it also set me free. Despite the pain, I had clarity over who I had been trying to R with and understood it was all over.

I know you are still in shock but....there is a whole life ahead of you with better possibilities now that you are going to move on.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, February 10th (Monday)

(((hugs))) If he doesn''t want to try to understand what the heck is wrong with him, then he leaves you little choice. I''m so sorry. Please remember that all of this heartbreak is due to HIS horrible decisions and choices.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
New Member
Member # 42393
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, February 10th (Monday)

My second dday was Thursday. My post topic was almost the same. Feeling like all the work we did over the last year has been complete bullshit. He's been in therapy for a year working on herself but obviously not on us. I'm totally bummed. Found it good to confide in a close friend which I haven't really done before and then tell a couple of my employees that I'm dealing with some issues as well. It freed me to be Ok to feel what I feel and when. Also called my counselor just to vent a little and hear a calming voice. Just keep talking. Don't try to keep it inside.

This Sucks!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2014
New Member
Member # 42393
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, February 10th (Monday)

Sorry. "She's" been in therapy for a year.

This Sucks!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, February 10th (Monday)


It sucks that you are back, and that he is up to the same ole, same ole. But you at least now have your truth, and know that he is incapable of truly committing and doing the work that is required for R to be successful.

(((and strength)))

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, February 10th (Monday)

(((((lilacs))))) I'm so very sorry, honey.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25843 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 7