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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: He lost his right to play the "best interest" card....
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:25 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

It's in the "best interest" of the kid(s) card.
Funny how stbx only *pulls* that out when I'm not agreeing to something that *he* wants.

I can think of hundreds of instances where his actions didn't take his kids into account. Seems to me that for the past 19 years, only ONE of us has had the *best interests* of the kids as a priority for our decision-making.....and it definitely WASN'T stbx.

Some WS' lose the *right* to ever let those words pass through their lips. My stbx is one of them.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8086 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:52 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

Oh my, I shut my X down many times with that kind of crap.

One time DD lied to him about being in HomeTown. He lived there and we were visiting my family but did not tell him we were there. Lo and behold, he or his sister saw us and then he called DD and she lied to him. I immediately forced her to call him back and tell him that she lied and to apologize because we (she and I) live in a "No Lie Zone". She was unhappy, but she did it. So the next time he comes to our town he starts to lecture her about lying. Oh NO You Di'nt! I said "Hey, you have no room to talk here, so shut up about her lying. I have already addressed it with her." And yes, I said it in front of DD. That MF was NOT going to lecture MY honest and authentic child about the one time she lied because he was so much of an ass she did not want to see him while in his town. No sir. STFU!!

Yeah, my X lost the right to just about everything based on his actions and inactions. Let alone what is "best" for a child that he has scarred for life!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17688 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 2:07 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

Good point. I believe my stbx lost the "best interest" card the moment he walked out.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

Thank you for reminding me...he didn''t give a fig about the children when he walked out in the middle of the night and left me to deal with them for 4 hours after they woke up before he deigned to come back and give them ''''the talk'''' (he didn''t want me to tell them on my own). The youngest still runs to my room every morning to check I''m still here. He didn''t think about their best interests when he put his cock before his family. And if he plays that card now, it''s out of guilt or his own self serving interests, but not really about them.

[This message edited by Softcentre at 2:41 AM, February 12th, 2014 (Wednesday)]


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 1061 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

What was in the best interest of the kids was that he never should have gone out fucking around in the first place. They seem to want to play nice in the sandbox when it only concerns them. Otherwise they could give less of a shit who gets hurt. Once again its the usual selfish me, me, me attitude that got them to this point. But now they expect you to capitulate because its in the children's best interest to ? Bullshit !!!!! Where was the children's interest when he was screwing another woman ? Where was their interest when he was lying and deceiving you ? Once again they want a soft landing and little to no consequence to their actions. Asshole !!!


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5730 | Registered: Nov 2007
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 3:06 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

Apologies if this is a t/j

They didn't just lose their 'best interest of kids' card but a whole deck of others too. Such as:

'Man/woman' card - for being so cowardly
'I'm sorry' card - for not understanding what the word sorry actually means
'I'm a good person but I made a mistake' card - for continuing the 'mistake' and see first point
'I didn't mean for it to happen/it just happened' card - ummmm no, deliberately setting out to inflict harm continually/repeatedly against your partner through deliberate actions is actually intent to cause harm.

Just a few cards unremoseful WWs have lost IMHO.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

My ex has a new one.

He told me last night how sorry he was about what happened and how he regrets it every day.

So I asked him why, when he could see me crying and pain for over a year while he had his affair, he didn't end it instead of promising me there was nothing going on...

"I was in denial."

Let me get this straight: he was in denial about the fact that having an affair was wrong? Or that it was damaging his marriage? Or that his wife was in emotional agony?

No denial here's here, he knew EXACTLY what was going on, just pure selfishness.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
dbellanon
Member
Member # 39236
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)

And yet, I'm sure he'll keep playing it whenever it's convenient.

I remember having a (very mild) disagreement with XWW over our holiday parenting schedule. I told her she might have to compromise with me, and completely misunderstanding the meaning of the word "compromise," responded, "Yeah. But just so you know, I'm going to push for what I want." At that moment, I could almost see the switch go off in her brain as she rushed to add, "What I want is what's best for DD. Do you?"

The only thing you can hope is that no one else is stupid enough to fall for their bullshit.

You know, I have no doubt that she loves our daughter, but there's no doubt who she's putting first.

[This message edited by dbellanon at 7:16 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)]


ME: BH, 28
Her: WW, 27
DD: 4
Married 6 Years.
DDay: Early May, 2013
Divorced

Posts: 228 | Registered: May 2013
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)

omg don't they ALL do this? The ONLY time I hear this is during XWH's mantrum when he doesn't get his way with something.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 9